Wrong?
by darklight1601
Summary: Like being thrown into another world wasn't hard enough. He knows he shouldn't have these feelings; knows what happened the last time he felt like this; knows they're wrong. But no matter how hard he tries, he can't make them go away. Auron/Tidus. Yaoi!
1. Wrong?

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

I found this fic that I wrote back in middle school, so I decided to rewrite it and then post it because... well, because why not? This particular story is Auron/Tidus, though not until a few chapters later, sorry. This chapter's pretty tame compared to the ones to come, so you've been warned. Oh, and this is yaoi, meaning boy on boy, so if you don't like that then don't read it please.

Warnings: language, mild violence

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**Chapter 1: Wrong?**

Tidus woke to the sound of his blaring alarm clock and groggily reached over to pound the snooze button. By the third time the alarm went off he finally hauled himself out of bed, cursing at having to wake so early on a Sunday. He stumbled out of his room and down the hall, somehow managing to not walk into anything. Yawning, he yanked open the fridge and pulled out two eggs, cracking them into a pan and frying them for breakfast.

Auron wasn't home. He knew this by the simple fact that he was cooking for himself. If the older man had been home, he would have had breakfast prepared for the boy before he had even opened his eyes fully, and it would probably have been more elaborate then a few fried eggs. As it was, Auron had gone out the night before and wasn't back yet.

As the blond chewed his food thoughtfully, he wondered for the millionth time why that was. Auron had been doing this a lot lately for about the past six months. He'd go out at night and be gone for a day or two before returning without a word. Tidus really didn't mind this, after all he was old enough to look after himself for a few days, but it confused him. He couldn't fathom where Auron was constantly going. The only thing his fourteen-year-old mind could come up with was that Auron was shacking up with someone during his absence, a thought that always made Tidus blush profoundly. He knew it was only a natural for a single man in his early thirties to do this, but he was still young enough to be embarrassed by the thought. Besides, he just couldn't picture calm, stoic Auron writhing in the throes of passion.

Giggling at the thought of this, Tidus finished his breakfast, dumping the plate in the sink to be washed at a later time. He hurriedly got dressed, brushed his teeth, ran a comb through unruly blond hair, and left his houseboat, making sure the door was securely locked behind him. Humming slightly to himself, the cheery teen made his way to the high school for blitz practice, all thoughts of anger at having to wake so early gone. After all, he had been given the opportunity to play on the high school team a year early, thanks to his amazing skills and long hours of practice. He really had no room to complain. This was a dream come true for him, and he'd do whatever it took to prove he was deserving of this honor. Even if that something was getting up at the ungodly hour of five in the morning.

As he entered the locker room, he averted his gaze away from the looks of the other boys. He'd been playing on the high school team for nearly three months now, but being surrounded by the older, taller boys still made him uneasy. It didn't matter that they had come to accept him after he'd proven himself in practice; it was still unnerving to be the smallest one there. He hadn't even gotten the large growth spurt most males received around his age yet, and he found himself going to sleep every night praying he would grow at least a little so he wouldn't be even with everyone's shoulders or lower anymore.

"Hey, Tidus. Good morning."

Tidus jumped slightly as a large hand came down on his shoulder and looked up into the smiling face of the team's vice captain, Pell. "Ah, good morning," he gasped out breathlessly, his face immediately going red because he knew he sounded like a complete dork.

"You ready to blitz?" Pell asked laughingly.

"You bet!"

Pell laughed outright this time, ruffling Tidus' hair, before moving on and talking to Vin, another boy on the team.

Tidus smiled slightly as he smoothed the hair Pell had knocked out of place. His hands were big and warm, his voice was light and comforting. He had blond hair much like Tidus', only shorter, and it always looked so soft. Tidus wanted to run his fingers through it, and look deep into his gorgeous green eyes flecked with gold. He wanted to kiss him and…

Immediately, Tidus pulled his mind away from where his thoughts were leading him. Now wasn't the time for this, practice would start soon. He could daydream about him and Pell all he wanted later, which he fully intended on doing. He did it all the time, actually. He'd had a crush on the seventeen-year-old vice captain since the moment he'd laid eyes on him. The crush just deepened when Pell was so kind to him, treating him like he belonged on the team and never letting anyone pick on him. He'd do just about anything for one kiss with him.

Tidus was so lost in his own thoughts, he didn't even notice Pell and Vin shooting him glances from across the locker room, didn't see the anger in Pell's normally cheerful green eyes. Then practice started, and all thoughts of Pell were completely pushed aside for the time being.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Practice lasted all day that particular Sunday, the boys only getting a break for lunch. Around five or so, coach finally let them go, and Tidus showered quickly, doing his best to keep his eyes away from the well-developed members the others boys were sporting that made his own look pathetic in comparison.

_Dammit,_ he thought angrily, glaring down at his own penis as if it had done something wrong. _Grow already would you? This is embarrassing!_

Once he'd showered and dressed, he was about to leave and go home to ease his growling stomach when someone lazily put an arm around his shoulders, effectively stopping him. "Hey, Tidus," Pell said, very close to his ear. "A bunch of us are going out for a bite to eat and some fun. Wanna come?"

Tidus felt as if his heart stopped and then started up again at twice its normal speed. As nice as Pell and many of the other guys had always been to him, they had never invited him out after practice. Really, he had never expected them to, he _was _quite a bit younger than them. But now… "Y-Yeah! Yeah, sure, I'd love to!"

Pell smiled. "Great. Let's go then," and Tidus found himself being propelled out of the school and down the street to a fast-food place where they could eat. It was himself, Pell, Vin, and four other guys from the team, all of whom were seniors or juniors. All upper-classmen. This more than anything made Tidus happy to be included. That and the fact that Pell's warm hand was constantly on his shoulder or ruffling his baby-soft hair, those amazing green eyes constantly focused on him and only him. This attention made his heart soar, and he did his best not to let it show on his face.

After they'd eaten, he was led a few blocks away to a bar and felt himself hesitating, looking at Pell inquiringly. "We can't go in there, can we? I mean, even you guys aren't old enough…"

Pell laughed and ruffled his hair again. "Don't worry, it's all right."

Tidus scrunched his face up more. How was it all right?

"My dad owns this place," Vin said in lieu of explanation, and Tidus nearly jumped at being spoken to by the gruff, quiet older boy. "It doesn't open for a few more hours, so we can stay till then. He doesn't care."

"Oh." Tidus chewed on the inside of his lip as Pell led him through the front door. He suddenly felt nervous. Very nervous. Should he really be here? Auron would kill him if he ever found out. Then again, if Auron didn't find out, it could be a lot of fun. And besides, being here gave him a chance to spend more time with Pell… All thoughts of leaving vanished with that realization, and he sat next to Pell at the bar as Vin poured beers for all of them.

While the rest of the guys played pool, Tidus found himself alone at the bar with Pell, eyeing the amber-colored liquid in front of him hesitantly. Pell took a long swig of his own drink and grinned at the younger blond. "Have you ever had alcohol before, Tidus?"

Tidus felt his face grow bright red in embarrassment. "No," he admitted softly. "Well, I tried a sip of sake once, but I didn't like it." He grimaced with the memory of his eleven-year-old self taking a sip from Auron's jug and literally choking on the stuff. That had been one of the few times Auron had truly laughed.

Right now though, Pell was the one laughing, a much different sound from Auron's rumbling chuckle. "Don't worry, this is just beer, it isn't as strong as sake. You might not like the taste, though; it can take some getting used to."

Tidus cautiously took a very small sip, relieved when it went down smoothly. Pell was right, he didn't really like the taste, but it was much better than the sake that had burned his throat and made his eyes water while Auron laughed at his misery. Feeling braver, he took a much larger sip, shooting a grin Pell's way. "Not bad."

Pell only smiled.

It only took half a beer before Tidus was nicely buzzed. He honestly wasn't drunk, but everything was slowly starting to become just a bit harder to focus on. That and he suddenly felt inanely happy for no particular reason. He really liked this feeling. He liked the way his stomach felt warm and… "Huh?" He abruptly realized Pell had been saying something to him.

"I said I have something to ask you." Pell moved a bit closer to him, lowering his voice just slightly. Tidus studied his face and noticed there was something different about his eyes, but the alcohol clouded his mind just enough to keep from figuring out what that something was. "Someone said something to me today I found really interesting. They said that they thought you had a crush on me."

Tidus felt his breath catch, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree. What had he just said? Someone had noticed? Shit, who?

"Well, Tidus? Is it true?"

Tidus licked his lips hastily, not knowing what to say. Why did Pell want to know anyway? Did he maybe like Tidus? Was that even possible? Was Pell gay too? That seemed too good to be true, but Tidus knew he couldn't possibly be the only gay person in Zanarkand. Hell, he passed a very popular gay club on his way home from school everyday, obviously there were gay people around besides just himself. Maybe Pell was one of them? Dammit, it was hard to think clearly. The alcohol wasn't really letting his mind work the way it should, and Pell was watching him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"I… well, I…" He chewed his lip anxiously. Shit, could he really admit it?

"C'mon, Tidus, don't lie to me," Pell coaxed, his voice sounding like a hiss. "Is it true?"

Tidus bit his lip hard one last time, knowing he couldn't lie to Pell, the person he idolized and fantasized about. "Yeah, it's true," he said softly. As soon as he said it, it felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders. It was out in the open now, and something about that relieved him a little. He felt a little better and was frankly quite proud of himself for what had been his first confession, no matter how clumsy it had been.

Pell pulled back from him then with a soft "huh" sound. Tidus looked up at him again and felt all his pride of accomplishment disappear instantly. Pell's eyes were still strange, except this time he knew why. Pell was pissed. No, Pell wasn't just pissed, he was downright furious.

Tidus heard a soft, malicious laugh from behind him and spun around, eyes widening in shock. The other boys who had been playing pool had now stopped, and he realized, horrified, that they had heard every word. Vin kept laughing in that creepy way before he shot a disturbing grin at Pell. "I told you."

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Tidus limped slowly home, hot tears running leisurely down his face, breath hitching in his sore throat. Everything hurt. Walking hurt, breathing hurt, seeing hurt… Dammit, he just wanted to get home so he could sleep this nightmare away. When had it even gotten dark out? What time was it? Was Auron home yet?

That last thought stopped him dead in his tracks. Auron. Shit, he didn't want Auron to see him right now. But besides home he didn't have anywhere else to go. Could he hide somewhere? No, that was stupid, Auron had always found him any time he'd tried to hide before, this would be no different. Maybe he could…

He winced at a particularly sharp pain in his chest. Fuck it, he was in too much pain to stand here thinking about this. Besides, the sooner he got home, the better chance he had of beating Auron there.

He stumbled pathetically up to the door of his houseboat and tried the knob to find it locked. Fumbling in his pocket for his key, he knew that was a good sign. If Auron had come back he would probably have left the door unlocked for him. As he slowly stepped inside, shutting the door softly behind him, he thought he'd better be sure.

"Au-Auron?" he called out, his voice sounding horribly strained. He let out a soft sigh of relief, when he was met by only silence. Auron really wasn't home.

Nearly sobbing in relief, he stumbled into the bathroom and immediately stripped off his clothes, throwing them in the trash bin underneath the sink. He never wanted to see that particular outfit again, assuming the stains could even be washed out. He climbed into the shower, turning the water on to a scalding hot temperature, watching with some amusement as the shower floor turned red.

"_Faggot!"_

He shivered as memories washed back over him. He had managed to preoccupy his mind with thoughts of Auron before, but now there was nothing to keep him from going back to just a few hours ago. He hugged himself, falling to his knees on the shower floor as the voices in his head continued their relentless assault. He didn't even realize he was sobbing like a baby until quite a while later when he forced himself to his feet and turned the water off, the blood and dirt now gone from his skin and hair. "_Crybaby," _a new voice said now, and for the first time in his life, he agreed.

_That's right,_ he thought bitterly. _I am a crybaby. A stupid, weak, pathetic crybaby._

Despite thinking this, he was unable to stop the sobs that ripped themselves from him as he forced himself to step out of the shower and dry himself off. As he forced himself down the hall to his room where he put on a pair of shorts. As he forced himself to the kitchen where he forced some water down his aching throat… And then he just didn't want to force himself anymore.

He staggered blindly to the couch where he collapsed in a pathetic heap of tears and curled up on himself, wishing he would just die. Why hadn't they just killed him? Would that have been too kind on their part? Probably. He was a weak, pathetic, faggot crybaby, and he didn't deserve the relief of death.

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Okay, I know there's no Auron in this chapter, but he'll be there next chapter, I promise. And of course there will also be steamy boy sex coming soon. I just need to finish editing... Reviews are always welcome, even bad ones as long as you can tell me why.


	2. I'm Sorry

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Warnings: language, reference to violence

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**Chapter 2: I'm Sorry**

It was around noon the next day when Auron returned to the houseboat and was surprised to find the front door unlocked. He frowned, lines creasing his forehead with the action. Tidus was usually good about locking the door when he left for school if Auron wasn't around. He'd have to remind him to be more careful from now on.

With a resigned sigh, reminding himself the boy was only fourteen and was bound to make mistakes, the warrior entered, immediately heading for the kitchen to take care of the slight rumbling in his stomach. When he saw the head of soft blond hair on the couch, he stopped so suddenly he rocked back on his heels.

What the hell was the boy doing at home instead of at school? And why was he sleeping in the living room? Had he fallen asleep there the night before, consequently never waking up for school? Annoyed, Auron stomped over to the sleeping figure… and froze when he truly saw it.

Tidus was asleep on the couch in just a pair of black shorts, curled up in the fetal position and shivering. Someone had beaten him. Badly. Dark, ugly bruises and long, red scrapes stood out against the boy's unusually pale skin, his cheeks tear-streaked, brow furrowed even in sleep. As Auron ran his eyes over the teen's body he couldn't find a single place that had escaped harm. His arms, his legs, his chest, his back, his neck, his face… all were hurt in some way or another. His lips were split and swollen, his right eye completely swollen shut, and a large gash along his left temple looked as if someone had bashed his head against a wall. His neck had the obvious tell-tale bruises of someone trying to choke him, and his wrists were bruised like someone had held his arms down so he couldn't fight back. The rest of his body was just a litany of similar injuries.

Auron felt a slight sense of alarm as he knelt by the couch gently placing a gloved hand on the boy's hair. "Tidus." His other hand felt the boy's forehead to find it very hot. He had a fever. "Tidus, wake up. Tidus!"

The small, shivering figure whimpered and blinked eyes open slowly. After a moment, he registered someone was touching him, and instantly panic set in. He sat bolt upright, ignoring the pain that shot throughout his body, striking out wildly against his new attacker, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to make it all disappear. "No!" he screamed, his throat protesting the assault. "No, go away! Get the fuck away from me!"

"Tidus!" Auron hadn't exactly been expecting this reaction and caught the boy's flailing arms, pinning them at his sides. "Tidus, it's all right."

"Don't touch me! Let go of me, dammit!"

"Tidus, stop!" Auron roared, raising his voice for the first time in years. Unconsciously, Tidus obeyed, and went limp in his grasp, willing his eyes to shut tighter. "Go away," he begged in a pleading whisper. "Go away, go away, go away, go—"

"Tidus." Auron's firm voice cut off his repeating mantra, and the boy cringed at the sound of his name. "Tidus," Auron repeated, much softer this time. "It's all right, Tidus, open your eyes." He smoothed the boy's hair, an action reserved only for when Tidus was truly and justifiably upset. "Open your eyes."

Tidus trembled in terror as his uninjured bright blue eye opened to one single amber one peering at him over dark glasses. He knew that eye. "Auron?"

"It's all right, Tidus. I'm here."

Tidus blinked slowly, letting his mind catch up and take in his surroundings. He was safe in his living room. Auron was here with him. He was safe… Before he could stop it, he was sobbing like he'd been the night before and he'd thrown his arms around Auron's neck in a death grip, terrified the older man would disappear if he didn't hold on tight. "Auron! Auron, I'm… I'm sorry!"

"Shh." Auron wrapped his arms around the boy's slender figure, tucking his head beneath his chin. "Hush, Tidus. It's all right now."

Vaguely in the back of his mind, Tidus realized that Auron was holding him, letting him cry on him. He had only done this once before, when Tidus' mother had died. He had only been seven at the time, and he'd barely known Auron. Yet still, when he was crying at his mother's funeral, feeling helpless and alone, the person he'd gone to wasn't any of his mother's friends with their familiar faces. It was the large, mysterious man in red… But that had been a one time occasion. Any other time he would get a periodic hand on the shoulder, on rare occasions a pat on the head, and if Tidus needed calming, usually after managing to injure himself, he would stroke his hair for a few moments. But to hold him like this…

Auron was thinking the same thing, surprised by his own actions. He normally avoided physical contact with anyone as much as possible, not even hugging Tidus back when he'd been younger and the small boy had wrapped his arms around Auron's waist affectionately. He'd settled for awkwardly patting him on the head like a puppy and sending the boy on his way. But this time, when the sobbing boy had flung himself at him, he'd instinctively wrapped his arms around him, wanting to hold him and comfort him. He'd known something bad had happened as soon as his eyes had landed on the boy's injured body, that much was obvious. What truly startled him was the way the boy panicked when he'd first woken up. That was when Auron became certain something _very_ bad had happened.

Now his body acted of its own accord as he deftly untangled the boy's arms from around his neck to Tidus' desperate cry of protest. It was silenced when Auron sat on the couch, lifting the boy into his lap, his strong arms pulling the boy close, leading his head so he could cry on his shoulder. One hand buried itself in the soft hair at the back of the boy's head while the other one rubbed his back soothingly, very lightly so as not to hurt his bruised skin. He rocked him gently, burying his face into the mop of blond, dimly noting that the boy's hair smelled like lavender. Tidus, meanwhile, just sobbed softly into his guardian's shoulder, listening to the soothing sound of his heart beating steadily in his chest beneath that red coat. Auron was here. It would be all right.

Both Tidus and Auron were surprised at how quickly Tidus calmed, though as soon as Auron tried to set the boy down, Tidus began to panic again. It dawned on Auron then that _he_ was what was calming Tidus, and he held the boy firmly in his arms, not able to place the foreign feelings welling up inside of him. He hadn't felt this way in a very long time.

Once the panic had again subsided, Auron changed his tactics, lifting Tidus up like he weighed nothing and carrying him into the bathroom. He set him down gently next to the sink, standing between his knees, reaching up into the medicine cabinet and pulling down a bottle of potion. Tidus normally hated drinking potions, and Auron readied himself for an argument; but to his surprise Tidus drank it down in a few gulps, not once complaining about the taste. That just made Auron worry more.

Now he set about carefully examining the boy's injuries, making sure none were too serious. He dabbed a wet cloth against the nasty gash along Tidus' temple, wiping the tear-streaks from his face as well. Then he started gently prodding along the boy's skull, trying to find any discernible cracks or particularly bad lumps. He did find a few that worried him, and he frowned, wondering if the boy had a concussion. "Tidus, when did this happen?"

Tidus jumped slightly at being spoken to, then allowed his mind to register the question. "Um… yesterday… yesterday evening… I think… Was yesterday Sunday?"

Auron scowled slightly at the question. "Yes, yesterday was Sunday." He realized the boy had fallen asleep after it had happened and hadn't woken at all until he came home, so if any damage from sleeping with a concussion was going to occur, it was already done. He wrapped the boy's either cracked or broken ribs then continued feeling down the boy's shoulders and arms, freezing when he reached his right hand. The three fingers on the end were twisted and out of place. "Tidus, your fingers are broken."

The boy blinked slowly as Auron took his hand delicately into his own much larger ones, then turned his gaze to the offending fingers. The image of a booted foot slamming down on top of them and twisting painfully flashed through his mind, and he shivered slightly. "They were stepped on," he replied blandly, and Auron looked up then into the boy's face. He didn't like the way it was completely devoid of emotion.

Fighting the urge to demand the whole story until he was done with the task at hand, he said softly, "I'm going to have to put them back into place. It's going to hurt, all right. Just hang on." Tidus gave no response, but he hadn't been expecting one. He took the fingers one at a time, pulling them back into their rightful positions with three practiced yanks, wincing slightly at the sound of bone popping.

Tidus watched this uninterestedly, waiting for it to hurt. He felt the sharp stings when Auron pulled each finger, grunted a bit when one in particular burned, then waited patiently for it to actually _hurt_. When he realized that was it, that was the "pain" Auron had told him to be ready for, he started laughing like an idiot. This began to seriously disturb Auron, because Tidus sounded anything but sane at the moment. "Stop it," he growled. "What's so funny?"

"You said it would hurt," the blond gasped between maniacal giggles. "You said it would… would…" The laughs abruptly turned into dry sobs, no more tears left. Tidus gripped the front of Auron's red coat so hard his knuckles turned white, resting his forehead against his guardian's chest. "It _hurt_… Auron, it hurt so much…"

Auron knew he wasn't talking about him setting his fingers. He wrapped his arms around Tidus protectively, a feeling of rage growing from the pit of his stomach and spreading through his whole body as he looked at the small boy beneath him, battered and in _pain_. Who had dared do this to him? The boy could be annoying at times, sure, but that was his worst fault. He'd never done anything to deserve this, and Auron wanted to find who had hurt him and make them pay. "Tidus," he said, his voice betraying his anger, "tell me what happened."

Tidus' sobs stopped instantly. Auron thought it was because of the question, but really it was the tone of his voice that had startled the boy. _He's mad_, Tidus thought, shutting his eyes tight. _Shit, he's mad…_

Well, of course he was mad, the logical part of his brain made him realize. He was being a damn crybaby again; Auron had every right to be mad at him. Taking a deep breath, Tidus said softly, "It's okay. I'm sorry."

Auron blinked, not expecting this particular answer, or anything like it really. "Okay? What's okay? Why are you sorry?"

Tidus winced slightly at the powerful voice and carefully kept his gaze on the floor, his hands tightening harder on the fabric in them. "It was my fault. I'm sorry."

"_Faggot! I can't believe this!"_

"Tidus, how is it your fault? What happened?"

Tidus took another calming breath, closing his eyes again. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry, Auron."

It took all of Auron's self-restraint not to slam his fist into the wall. Maybe if this had been a regular fight, if Tidus had come home with a few bruises after grating someone the wrong way… But this wasn't a regular fight. Someone, Auron was almost sure several people, had severely beaten him, and that was _not_ something that could just be left alone. Anger seethed out of him in a nearly tangible form as he grabbed Tidus chin and forced the boy's face up to look at his. "Tidus, you will tell me what—"

"No!" Tidus shoved Auron in the chest with enough force to make the large man stagger back a step.

"_You lied to me, you fucking faggot!"_

"I'm not talking about it! I won't! I don't care what you say!"

Auron narrowed his amber eye, but not in a threatening way. "Tidus—" he started calmly.

"I said no!" Tidus gripped his hair with nearly enough force to pull it out as hot tears he didn't think he had left flooded down his cheeks. Auron couldn't know, Auron couldn't know, Auron couldn't know… "I don't want you to hate me," he sobbed desperately, unable to look up at the man in front of him. "I can't… please… I don't…"

Abruptly, Tidus toppled forward completely unconscious, Auron catching him before he hit the floor. The intense heat radiating from his small body reminded Auron of the boy's fever. Cursing silently to himself, he took the boy to his room, tucking him in bed, pushing a stray lock of blond out of his eyes.

"_I don't want you to hate me."_

Auron squeezed the bridge of his nose between two fingers, shutting his eye tight. Stupid brat. What a ridiculous thing to say. All he wanted to know was what had happened so he could find who had hurt him and kill them. So he could ease this feeling of guilt spreading through him like poison.

Guilt. He was used to the feeling, felt it nearly every day of his continued existence, a horrible reminder of a past he could never escape; but this... this guilt was entirely different. If he could find whoever had hurt Tidus and get revenge for the boy, it would go away, right? This feeling of guilt because Tidus had gotten hurt, and he hadn't been there to protect him. He hadn't even been there to help him afterwards. He had strolled in a day later to find the boy a broken, crumpled mess, all because he hadn't kept his promise to protect him.

Auron ran a hand roughly back through his hair, willing away the foreign feeling in his stomach. He had failed Jecht… No… More than that, he had failed Tidus. He didn't know when looking after the boy had changed from just keeping a promise to actually wanting to stay with and care for him. He didn't look at him as a son and yet… yet he found himself truly caring for the blond brat in a way he couldn't quite describe. Wanting to protect him not for Jecht, but just because he didn't want anything to happen to him.

"_I don't want you to hate me."_

"Stupid boy. Don't you know I could never hate you?" He gently ran his fingers along the sleeping boy's swollen face, feeling sick. "I'm sorry. I won't let this happen again, I'm… I'm sorry."

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

It took about three days for Tidus' fever to go away. It took about three weeks for his injuries to completely disappear. And it took about three months before the horrible nightmares that plagued him began to dwindle. Auron helped him through it all with more patience than Tidus could ever remember the older man having before, always telling him it was all right when he attempted to apologize. Of course no matter how many times Auron told him that, he knew it wasn't all right. He had been stupid, and now Auron had to deal with the consequences too; and that just wasn't fair to the older man. So he did his best to stay away from Auron as much as possible, trying to lighten his burden.

Auron let Tidus stay home from school for two weeks before telling him it was time to go back. The boy didn't argue about going to school in general, but he practically begged Auron to let him _switch_ schools. This surprised his guardian slightly, but it made it rather obvious that Tidus knew who his attackers were and they went school with him. Not seeing anything particularly wrong with this arrangement if it would make Tidus feel better, he enrolled Tidus in another nearby school.

Despite the fact that Tidus' grades were average at best, the school was thrilled to have the boy for his blitzball skills. They immediately offered him a spot on their high school team, but the boy just gave the principal and coach a small smile and shook his head. "Thank you, but I'll just wait until next year when I'm actually in high school."

Auron was so shocked to hear this come out of Tidus' mouth he nearly fell out of his seat. Tidus had declined an opportunity that could easily further him in his blitzball career? Of all the strange things the boy had done since he'd been beaten up, this was by far the strangest and most out of character. When he mentioned this to Tidus later on at home, the boy refused to meet his eyes.

"Well, y'know, Auron, I'm still not totally healed yet and everything. I mean, it's really tough playing with those bigger guys… Besides, there's no rush, right?"

Even though this actually made some sense, Auron knew he was lying. Any other time he'd relish the challenge his injuries could pose, pushing himself harder just to prove he could overcome them. He'd done it before. "Tidus…"

After once again trying to make Tidus tell him what had happened, Auron sat on the couch in the living room, nursing his sore leg. He'd gone from tactfully trying to coax the story out of the boy, to forcing it out of him with harsh words and his most threatening voice. The result had been a swift quick to his left shin and a screaming, nearly hysterical Tidus locking himself up in his room, yelling about how he'd never tell.

Auron sighed deeply and rested his head in his hands. Maybe, he pondered bitterly, it was time to admit defeat on this subject. And so he decided reluctantly to leave the past alone.

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Heh, hope that chapter was enjoyable and not too boring or anything... Anyway, READ ON FOR BOY SEX!


	3. Beer and Peppermint

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Warnings: This chapter is where the story truly becomes yaoi. Yay yaoi! For those of you who don't know, yaoi means male/male sex. To be more specific Tidus/OC. Or is it OC/Tidus? I think I heard that whoever tops in the sex is put first, does anyone know if that's how it works? Either way, I'll say one more time that this chapter contains gay male sex along with language. Read if you dare.

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**Chapter 3: Beer and Peppermint**

The fifteen-year-old blond stared up at the fluorescent neon sign of the night club with a look of sheer determination. Pegasus Lounge. One of the most popular gay clubs in Zanarkand, and conveniently located just a few blocks from his houseboat. Tonight his business was here.

About a year had passed since 'the mistake' as he had come to call it in his mind. He was now officially a high school student and had finally gotten the growth spurt he'd impatiently waited for, though he was still a bit small for his age. He was also playing as a starter for his school's blitz team. He'd made quite a few friends as soon as he'd transferred schools and before he knew it had found himself quite popular. Even now as a measly freshman he was constantly getting invitations to parties, people wanted to hang out with him, hoards of girls, including older ones, confessed to him…

And that was the main problem. Girls. Like any normal teenage boy, he found himself becoming increasingly more interested in sex, sometimes worrying he was some kind of pervert for thinking about it so much before finding out his friends were the same way. The difference being, of course, that his friends were thinking about girls. He wasn't. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't find girls attractive, couldn't enjoy the make-out sessions he'd had with plenty of them, no matter how much they'd enjoyed it. He couldn't begin to imagine why this was unless he was definitely, completely gay. And after tonight, after he concreted his suspicions, he would stop trying so hard to make himself like the girls who fawned over him. He'd had enough of forcing himself.

Taking a deep breath he steadied his nerves and marched up to the door, looking up at the massive bouncer in front of it, doing his best to look impassive. The huge man stared back down at him and blinked a few times like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Then with a slight chuckle he growled in a voice that reminded Tidus of Auron, "Ain't it past your bedtime, kid?"

Tidus crossed his arms nonchalantly, cocking an eyebrow up at the big man. God, he hoped this worked. "Kallen sent me."

There was a long pause before the big man grunted and moved aside to let Tidus in. "You get caught I'm gonna deny ever seein' ya."

Tidus just nodded coolly and slipped inside the club, cheering inside his head. Kallen, the flamboyantly gay senior he went to school with, had connections coming out his ass. When Tidus had explained his problem, the boy had instantly told him to drop his name and he would be allowed inside. Apparently, he wasn't all talk. That had worked better than Tidus had ever hoped for.

Taking another calming breath, the teen walked down a dark hallway, getting closer to the pounding bass of typical club dance music. With one final breath and a steeling of nerves, he exited the hallway into the heart of the club and was instantly surrounded by the blaring music and flashing lights. Almost immediately his eyes fell on two men right in front of him, one in the others' lap, cuddling and giving each other chaste kisses. He felt his tension melt away at the sight, feeling more relaxed than he had in a long time. If nothing else, at least here he wasn't weird.

He remembered Kallen saying he wouldn't get kicked out for being underage as long as he didn't try to buy alcohol, so he carefully steered clear of the bar. That was fine with him, he wasn't there to drink anyway. Now on to the next step of picking someone up. Kallen had told him for that to just pick a seat near the dance floor and wait. Tidus frowned, not sure how he would find anyone this way, but did as he had been told. After all, Kallen hadn't let him down yet. He carefully took a seat at a booth in clear sight of the dance floor, folding his hands in his lap and doing his best not to look nervous. In less than a minute he already had someone come up to him, asking him if he wanted to dance. Thank you, Kallen.

The first five guys that came to him he politely turned down, using the excuse he was waiting for a friend. There wasn't anything wrong with any of them, he was just waiting for a specific type of guy for this particular night. It was important after all. He just hoped he wasn't being too picky.

"Hey there, cutie. Mind if I join you?"

Tidus looked up at the gorgeous brunette in front of him and smiled, knowing he'd found his guy. He looked to be in his late teens, early twenties, bigger than Tidus, but not too much, with an athletic build. He was dressed simply in a black t-shirt and jeans, a few piercings in his ears. But most importantly were his soft brown eyes and easy smile. Tidus felt he could trust him, decently enough at least for the important task the night held. His smile widening, he motioned to the seat across from him. "Please do."

The older boy slid into the seat, the small smile on his face never leaving. "So, what are you doing here, cutie? Something tells me you're not eighteen yet."

"Ah, no," Tidus flushed. "My friend got me in… I'm fifteen."

"Fifteen? What are you doing out on a school night?"

"Well, it's not that late yet," Tidus said almost defensively, glancing at his watch. 9:45. Not late at all.

The boy chuckled slightly. "You're right, it's still pretty early. That's why it's so quiet in here."

Tidus glanced around the club, thinking it was decently crowded for this time of night on a Tuesday. He couldn't even imagine how packed it must get late on the weekend. He'd obviously picked the right club to come to.

"So what's your name, cutie?"

Tidus was startled out of his superfluous thoughts by the question. "Uh, I'm Tidus. What's yours?"

"Dennick. Let me buy you a drink, Tidus."

The teen shuddered inwardly at the first and last time he'd had beer. Right before he had made 'the mistake.' It wasn't like he never wanted to try drinking again, but tonight was not the night to do it. Tonight he needed a completely clear head. "Uh, no, it's all right. I really don't want any alcohol." And then of course, after he'd said this, he realized how much of a kid he must have sounded like. Dennick, however, just smiled kindly at him. "How 'bout a soda then?"

Tidus perked up slightly at the offer. "Yeah, sure, that'd be great."

The two of them talked for a half an hour or so about different, unimportant things while Tidus sipped on his soda and Dennick downed a beer. Tidus really liked Dennick's soft but confident voice. Feeling more relaxed the longer he talked to the older boy, Tidus was pleased with his choice. Dennick would do perfectly for this. Now he just had to remember what Kallen had said.

"_Once you find a guy you're comfortable with, invite him to 'the back.' Don't go anywhere with him, that's _not _safe. The club has a bunch of rooms you can use at your disposal that aren't too disgusting. It's not totally safe there either, of course, but it's better than following some psycho home or something. So take him to 'the back', got it?"_

Tidus ran his friend's words through his mind for what felt like the millionth time and gripped the cup in front of him hard. Now or never. Worse case scenario, he'd get turned down and have to find someone else. Not that big a deal.

"Um… Dennick…"

"Yeah, Tidus?"

"Um, would you… I mean… uh… if you wanted… 'the back'?" Tidus wanted to kick himself for sounding like an idiot, but the other boy didn't seem to notice. Dennick's eyes brightened and his smile grew. "Really?"

"Huh? Y-yeah really."

The smile morphed to a full-fledged grin and Dennick stood, holding his hand out for Tidus to take. "C'mon then, cutie."

Tidus had to hold back a sigh of relief as he took the outstretched hand and Dennick led him to 'the back'. They found an empty room and Dennick flipped the sign on the front from 'vacant' to 'occupied' before pulling Tidus in and shutting the door. Tidus looked around the dingy little room, empty with the exception of a bed and a small table with a few bottles strewn across the top. The butterflies in his stomach started going crazy and he forced himself to take a deep, calming breath. Nothing to be worried about.

With a gentle tug on his arm, he found himself being led to the bed which he noticed had no sheets of any kind. While the mattress was a far cry from clean, it wasn't too filthy, and it certainly wasn't enough to dissuade him. He was nervous as hell, but more than that, he was determined. This was happening. Tonight.

Dennick sat down, pulling Tidus into his lap, facing him. He wrapped his arms around the blond as Tidus hesitantly wrapped his legs around his waist. Leaning in slowly he kissed the younger boy softly, deepening the kiss very gradually so as not to scare him off.

Tidus, however, wasn't scared at all, quite the opposite. For the first time ever, a kiss was actually exciting him. He kissed Dennick back, licking the brunette's bottom lip before his tongue explored the inside of his mouth which tasted like beer and peppermint. Encouraged by the boy's reaction, Dennick willed his own tongue to life, dancing it along with Tidus', nipping gently at his lips. When they finally broke apart, Dennick smiled whole-heartedly, eyes filled with lust. "Well, cutie, you certainly know how to kiss."

Tidus blushed, smiling slightly at the praise. At least _something_ had come out of all those make-out sessions with the girls.

Dennick kissed him again before moving his mouth to his neck, nipping and sucking lightly. He slipped a hand up the boy's shirt, rubbing slow circles around an erect nipple, instantly loving Tidus' voice when he moaned softly. God, this kid didn't realize how naturally seductive he was, did he?

Pulling away from the soft skin, Dennick looked up into Tidus' incredibly blue eyes. "Hey, you're a virgin, right?"

"Uh…" Tidus felt his face and neck grow deep scarlet at the question, not really sure how he should answer.

Dennick chuckled lightly, kissing his forehead tenderly. "It's okay, I don't mind. I just didn't want to go too fast and hurt you." He shifted onto the bed more and laid Tidus down, straddling him. "Don't worry. I'll make sure you have a good time." He ground down against Tidus' already very hard member, forcing another beautiful moan from the boy. "I see you're already enjoying yourself." He ran a hand over the bulge in Tidus' shorts, smiling. "That's good."

Tidus was naked before he even realized Dennick was stripping him and felt his face grow bright red yet again as the older boy eyed him hungrily, discarding his own shirt. Suddenly shy, he made a pathetic attempt to cover himself slightly. "Hey now, none of that," Dennick breathed harshly, gently moving his hands away, eyes still trailing along his body. He ran his hands down Tidus' sides, stopping to lightly grip his slender waist. "God, you're beautiful."

That word caught Tidus' ear. Beautiful? Had he really just been called beautiful? No way. He had come to accept the fact that he must be at least somewhat good-looking with all the girls who chased after him, but _beautiful_? He scoffed at the idea. His ears were too big, his hair never did what he wanted, he was far too skinny-- "Ah!" His thoughts were interrupted suddenly as Dennick licked up the underside of his shaft before almost immediately deep-throating him.

Tidus writhed in the pleasure being caused by Dennick's skilled tongue and mouth. Goddamn, this felt fucking amazing. He'd heard guys say before how good it felt, but holy shit. He twined his fingers in Dennick's brown locks, panting hard and thrusting slightly into the older boy's mouth. "Mm, Dennick!" Dennick smiled and sucked harder, knowing the boy was close. "Dennick... Dennick, g'off... I'm-- mm, I'm gonna--"

Dennick felt the hot liquid rush down his throat and swallowed it easily, letting the enthralled boy shove his head down as far as it would go. For what was obviously his first time receiving head, he'd actually been quite well behaved, never bucking his hips harshly or pushing on Dennick's head until the end, and he'd been hoping an orgasm would help set the kid at ease. If Tidus had been older, he never would have had him release before the main event, but since he was still only fifteen... Well, there were some advantages to teenagers who came fast. They recovered fast as well.

Still smiling, he licked up every drop of the blond's seed, lifting his gaze to look at his face. Immediately, he frowned. "What's wrong?"

Tidus bit his bottom lip, his eyes a mixture of lust and fear. "That... I mean... I'm sorry?"

Dennick blinked, not understanding. "Sorry?... Oh!" The kid was worried because he'd come in his mouth. Laughing lightly at the innocence of it all, he nuzzled into the boy's neck. "It's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. If I hadn't wanted you to, I would have pulled away."

The boy relaxed noticeably, running his fingers through Dennick's hair. "Okay."

With another small laugh, Dennick reached over to the table beside the bed, grabbing a bottle and popping open the cap. His erection throbbed painfully, begging for some attention, but he willed himself to be patient. He _was not_ going to hurt the kid his first time. He'd never forgive himself for something like that. So ignoring his penis' silent pleas he coated his fingers in cold lube and leaned over the blond again. Teasing a hard nipple with his tongue, he rubbed his fingers over the boy's opening before sliding the first one dexterously in.

Tidus, who'd been surprisingly comfortable the whole time, froze at this sudden invasion. Pictures and voices started flooding through his mind, completely beyond his control. _"Faggot!" _

Dennick felt the boy tense up beneath him and immediately stopped moving, looking up into the his face which was slowly draining of color. "Tidus, you okay?"

_"Fucking faggot! I'll show you what happens when you lie to me!"_

"Tidus? Hey, sweetie, what's wrong? Does it hurt?"

Hurt? Tidus registered the question and shook his head wordlessly. No, Dennick wasn't hurting him, but-- _"How's that feel, faggot? You like that?"_ He shuddered and shut his eyes tightly. Shit, maybe he couldn't do this.

Dennick watched Tidus carefully, knowing he was afraid for some other reason than it being his first time. He caressed the boy's cheek softly, placing a tender kiss to his forehead. "Hey, cutie, I'm not gonna hurt ya... You want me to stop?"

Tidus opened his eyes to the soft, concerned brown ones looking down at him and told the voices in his head to shut the hell up. They weren't really there. Only Dennick was here right now, and if he'd wanted to hurt him, he could have done so easily already. Wrapping his arms around the older boy's neck, he whispered, "I'm sorry. Please don't stop. I'm-- I'm all right now."

Dennick chuckled slightly again and kissed his shoulder. He really didn't know how cute he was.

Tidus gasped and writhed slightly as two of Dennick's fingers pumped in and out of him slowly, spreading the lube and making scissoring motions to stretch him. He deftly added a third, carefully watching Tidus' reaction to make sure he didn't hurt him. Satisfied, he pumped a few more times before pulling his fingers out, Tidus' eyes snapping open in surprise.

"Don't worry, cutie," Dennick said huskily, unzipping his pants and coating his now free erection with a generous amount of lube. "You won't be empty long." He leaned over the boy again, lining himself up with his entrance. "This might hurt for a minute, so just relax." And he slowly pushed himself in, inch by inch, until he was seated fully inside the blond's incredible heat. "Fuck, you're so tight."

Tidus' head had fallen back, mouth open in a silent cry as Dennick entered him. There was some pain, he wasn't going to lie, but it was fleeting, followed by an uncomfortable pressure, and ending with a feeling of fullness, not particularly bad or good. Tidus had steeled himself, waiting for the excruciating pain to come, but none did. He released the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding and nearly sobbed in relief. He had been worried over nothing.

Feeling Tidus' muscles relax around him, Dennick pulled halfway out and slowly pushed back in again, groaning slightly with the feeling. "You're so amazing, Tidus. It doesn't hurt, right... I'm gonna move then..."

Tidus lost all coherent thought about then. The feeling of fullness never left, but it went from being a neutral feeling to feeling good, then feeling amazing, then becoming mind-blowing pleasure he didn't think was even possible. He panted and cried out softly every time Dennick thrust, wrapping his legs around the brunette's waist. "Ah! D-Dennick!"

Dennick's pace increased and he attacked the soft skin of Tidus' neck furiously, loving it when the boy grabbed a fistful of his hair. "How is it, Tidus?" he panted next to his ear. "Does it feel good?"

"Un! Y-yes! Yes, it feels good!"

Dennick laughed, picking his pace up just a bit more. He knew Tidus was nearing his end for the second time, so he grabbed the boy's rock hard erection, pumping furiously.

"Ah! AH! Dennick!"

"Go ahead, Tidus, come!"

As if he'd needed the permission, Tidus let himself go and came hard into Dennick's hand, splattering both their chests. Dennick felt the blond's walls contract around him so tight it was almost painful. With a roaring, "FUCK!" he came as well, releasing his seed deep inside the smaller boy.

After his breathing had slowed and his senses returned, Tidus opened his eyes to find Dennick laying heavily on top of him, still panting and coming down from his own orgasm. Tidus ran fingers through his hair and down his sweaty, muscular back until the boy rolled off of him, simultaneously pulling out and leaving Tidus feeling empty. Grinning and laughing slightly at nothing in particular other than the sheer happiness he felt, Dennick snaked an arm around Tidus' waist, pulling him in closer. He pushed the sweaty blond hair off of his forehead, kissing it tenderly again. "You all right?"

Tidus smiled and sighed peacefully, suddenly very tired. "Yeah. Thank you."

"Really, no need to thank me." Dennick looked down at the younger boy, not about to let something so good slip away from him. "Hey, you wanna do this again?"

Tidus' eyes widened slightly at the suggestion. "Um..." He glanced at his watch, frowning. It was almost eleven. "I don't think I can. I have school tomorrow, so I have to get home before--" He was cut off abruptly by Dennick's laughs. "What?"

"I didn't mean right _now_, cutie. I'm not trying to wear you out here. I meant, did you wanna maybe be like sex friends? Exchange numbers and get together occasionally?"

"Oh!" Tidus blushed, realizing how stupid he must have sounded. But, sex friends... "We wouldn't be dating or anything, right? Just having sex."

"Yep. Just sex. No strings attached, no obligations to perform when you don't wanna, and you can call it off anytime you want."

The blond teen ran the idea through his mind a couple times, trying to find a problem and coming up with nothing. "Okay, yeah. Why not?"

Dennick looked like the happiest man on earth as he took Tidus' cell phone and put his own number in. "There you go. Can I have yours?"

And when Tidus finally left the club ten minutes later, walking slowly back to his houseboat and a waiting Auron, he couldn't help but smile. He felt more at ease than he had since... well, since he was twelve and found the first person he'd ever been truly attracted to was a guy. He was gay. He was sure of that now, and he found that it didn't bother him. Why should it, it wasn't like it was something he could control anyway. Besides, what he'd just done with Dennick, it had been fucking amazing. Why would he want to change it?

_"Faggot!"_

Yeah, whatever. So he was a faggot, big deal. As long as people didn't know, it didn't make any difference. He just had to keep it from getting out, that was all. What people didn't know couldn't hurt them.

"Hey, Tidus," Auron said as he entered the houseboat, setting down the book he'd been reading. "You're back late. Where were you?"

Tidus shrugged casually, heading for the bathroom to take a shower. "With a friend." What Auron didn't know couldn't hurt him.

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There will be more sex coming, it will be kinkier, and there will be Auron/Tidus. I promise.

Thank you to PhoenixCharmer116! I couldn't believe someone actually reviewed since I only posted the first chapter like four days ago. It made me happy to see at least one person read and enjoyed it. As always, reviews make the world go round, even if they're negative. I always enjoy feedback!


	4. Perversion and Punishment

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Warnings: male/male sex (nothing too graphic), soloM, and language. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 4: Perversion and Punishment**

Auron walked briskly back to the houseboat, loaded down by groceries, the streets of Zanarkand slowly growing dark as the sun set. He wanted to get back home quickly, hating Friday nights in Zanarkand. Teenagers flocked to the streets to celebrate surviving another week of school, partying until the sun came up again. Too many happy young people getting together made Auron cringe.

As if someone up above had been listening to his thoughts and wanted to taunt him, the squeal of teenage girls could suddenly be heard directly to his right. The sound went through him like knives, sending shivers down his spine all the way to his feet. Why? Why did they have to make that noise? He glared at where a crowd of them had suddenly flocked, in front of an electronics store, wondering what the hell could possibly be so interesting. What he found himself staring at was a familiar blond, looking back at him from the several TVs on display in the window while the lady newscaster talked about the newest up-and-coming star to blitzball.

"Oh my God, he's so hot!" one of the girls gushed excitably, and it was like that one comment set them all off.

"He's on the Abes, right?"

"He's only sixteen! Can you believe it?"

"Look at his body, it's amazing!"

"His eyes are so blue! You just get lost in them!"

"Would you do him?"

"Of course I would, I'd let him do whatever he wanted to me!"

"He could fuck my brains out!"

Auron stopped listening right around there and started walking home again, mildly disturbed by the comments. Damn teenage girls. They'd never met the brat, and there they were, huddled together and talking about sleeping with him, like that would ever happen. He could see clearly why they were attracted to him, but... why did they have to be so obsessive? It was just another reason he couldn't stand them. Hurry and grow up already. Then maybe they'd--

"Ah!"

Auron froze instantly upon entering the houseboat, nearly dropping the bags in his arms. His mind split into two parts, one half blanking completely, which is why he couldn't move or tear his eyes away from the scene in front of him. The other half, still ranting about teenage girls, wanted to yell down the street for them to come quickly. Because that half of his mind would get no greater satisfaction than seeing the looks on their faces if they would witness what he was right now. The object of their affections, the most promising young blitzer to come about since his father, on his knees, giving a blowjob.

Auron knew he should turn around and walk right back out the door, but he couldn't seem to make himself move. An attractive brunette stood against the living room wall, just fifteen feet away, with Tidus kneeling in front of him, sucking him off with vigor. "Fuck, Tidus," the brunette breathed, using one hand to steady himself against the wall while the other rested in Tidus' hair, not grabbing his head, just resting there in a guiding manner. His breathing was harsh, his eyes screwed shut, a look of pure bliss on his face.

Auron's mind kept screaming at him to move, to get out of there before he was discovered. Instead he just watched Tidus reach up and grab the other boy's hips in a firm grip, increasing his pace and encouraging the boy to thrust into his mouth. The brunette groaned loudly. "That's it... Suck me harder, baby..." and it was then that Auron _did_ drop the bags he was holding.

Tidus was so busy with his task, he didn't hear the groceries crash to the floor. The brunette must have registered something had made a noise because lust-filled eyes opened and looked dazedly at Auron for a few moments, blinking peacefully at him as if he were a piece of furniture. Then he realized what he was actually seeing and the eyes widened considerably, heading snapping up from it's lulled position. "Tidus," he said hastily, tugging at the blond's hair. "Tidus, stop!"

Tidus made a noise, muffled by the cock in his mouth, before pulling back, frowning up at the older boy. "What's wrong, Dennick?"

Dennick's mouth moved a few times, searching for coherent words. Finally he sputtered, "Audience!" and Tidus felt his face and neck grow bright red. He turned around slowly, knowing what would be behind him and dreading it more than could ever be expressed. "Auron... welcome home... you're back... faster than I thought..."

Auron said nothing, his face impassive, eyes hidden behind his dark glasses. He watched, faintly amused by the nervous way the brunette stuffed himself back in his pants, looking embarrassed at being caught. Then he shifted his gaze to Tidus who looked absolutely horrified. "Obviously," he finally said in answer to the boy's comment and he bent to pick up the groceries he had dropped, ignoring the couple's presence.

"Dennick, I'll call you in a little," Tidus said softly to the brunette, pulling him past Auron's crouching figure and practically pushing the other boy out the door.

Dennick, however, hesitated, not at all liking how scared Tidus was. He looked over his friend's shoulder at the older man and frowned before looking back at Tidus very seriously. "Cutie, are you all right?"

Auron lifted his head slightly at the brunette's question, not liking the way it was asked. It clearly implied that Auron would hurt Tidus or something if they were left alone. Where the hell would he get an idea like that? Auron had never raised a hand to the blond brat in the nine years he'd been with him.

"I'm fine, Dennick, I'll meet up with you later," Tidus insisted, opening the door and actually pushing him out this time.

Dennick still hesitated but found himself nodding reluctantly. "All right. If you're not at the club in an hour, I'm coming back to get you."

Auron nearly crushed the ketchup bottle in his hand. Was he giving off some sort of child-abuser aura or did he just look that plain scary?

"Don't worry, man, I'll be there," Tidus said with a small laugh, but both Auron and Dennick knew it was forced. Tidus shut the door after his friend had walked away and made himself take a deep calming breath. "Sorry about that, Auron. Ah, here, let me help with that." He knelt down next to his guardian and started gathering up some of the spilled groceries, refusing to look at him. As the boy reached for the butter, Auron noticed his hand was trembling violently and caught it tightly in his own, knowing now why the brunette had been worried. "Why are you shaking, Tidus?"

Tidus seemed to stop breathing at the question, his eyes never leaving the floor. His hair was hiding his face from Auron, but the red-clad warrior had been around the boy long enough to know when he was near tears. He fought the urge to sigh and waited patiently for the teen to answer, absently still picking up groceries. He had just reached for his final prize, a head of lettuce, when Tidus whispered almost imperceptibly, "I'm gay."

"_You lied to me, you fucking faggot!"_

Auron blinked at the cowering boy in front of him before picking up the bags again and moving the short distance to the kitchen. "Of course you are." He started putting things away when the boy said in the same pathetic voice, "I'm sorry."

_"Fucking faggot! I'll show you what happens when you lie to me!"_

"Don't worry about it, just... just pick your locations more carefully next time, all right?" He swore softly when he realized he'd forgotten to buy sugar and would have to run out again the next morning. The brat always had a cup of coffee every morning with a sickening amount of sugar, and if he didn't get it--

"Huh?"

The sound of complete and total confusion pulled him away from his reverie. He glanced over at the boy who was now standing up and finally looking at him, eyes bright with unshed tears. He was giving Auron a look like he had grown a second head, and that didn't particularly sit well with the older man. "What?" he demanded.

"I said I'm gay!" Tidus screeched in his nervous, high-pitched voice. Hadn't Auron heard him?

"And I said of course you are." He put some more groceries away, wishing the blond would stop staring like that. "Are you hungry? I could make you something before you go meet your friend."

Tidus swallowed, trying to digest what was happening. Why wasn't Auron mad, why wasn't he yelling? Okay, admittedly Auron never really _yelled,_ but his tone changed and it was like he was yelling. Why wasn't he doing that? Did he... did he not care enough to be mad? Was that it? Did he not care about Tidus at all anymore because he was gay?

"Tidus?" Auron frowned at the boy who still looked like he was about to cry and hadn't answered his question. "Tidus, what's wrong?"

Tidus chewed on his bottom lip until a coppery taste hit his tongue, the tears threatening dangerously to spill over. "I'm sorry. I just... I don't want you to hate me."

Auron immediately stiffened at the words, trying to place why they were so familiar. What the hell? What would prompt the brat to say something like that? "What are you--"

"I tried to stop being gay!" Tidus wailed hopelessly, desperately wanting to explain his position. "I swear, I tried to like girls! I can't, I know that. But if you want, I won't like guys either. Really, I'll just stop having sex! But please! Please, Auron, don't hate me! I couldn't take it if you hated me!"

The outburst floored Auron who nearly burst out in laughter at the complete absurdity of the boy's words. Nearly. Until he saw how serious and upset Tidus still was. With a sigh, he decided to break the tension and ease his slight irritation by picking up the newly bought roll of papertowels and hurling it playfully at the bowed blond head. After the teen sputtered in surprise, he said in his most bored voice, "Of course you're gay. I've known since you were ten. You never showed any interest in girls."

Tidus' eyes couldn't possibly have gotten any bigger. "What? You knew?"

Well, that was annoying. Did the boy think he was blind? He scoffed, insulted. "Of course I knew. Did you really think I would live with you all these years and never notice?"

The boy gnawed on his already bleeding lip, trying unsuccessfully to wrap his head around his guardian's words. "But... you never said anything..."

"Why should I? Did you want to discuss it?"

Tidus shook his head slowly, still trying to completely understand. "So... you aren't mad?"

"Why? Because you're gay?" At the boy's nod he actually contemplated slapping him for being so stupid. _You actually thought I'd be mad you were gay? Just what the hell are you thinking?_ "Of course not."

The blond nodded slowly, still looking incredibly uneasy. Auron knew he was still worried and needed to put this issue to rest now before it could do anymore damage. He walked up to the boy who actually flinched from him slightly, making his frown deepen. He reached out a gloved hand and ruffled the soft blond tresses, silently letting him know everything was fine. Before he could move away again, the boy had thrown his arms around him, burying a teary face in his chest. For the third time since they'd met, Auron didn't push him away, accepting the embrace and putting an arm lightly around his shoulders.

Tidus took a deep breath, muffling a sob that threatened to escape. "Sorry, sorry... I just don't want you to hate me. Ever."

Auron shut his good eye, brow furrowing. _Stupid brat. Don't you realize how important you are to me? I could never hate you, don't you know that?_ "I don't."

The boy pulled back then and offered him a weak smile. "Yeah, I know. Sorry." He scrubbed hurriedly at red eyes, smiling again. "I'm gonna get going. Dennick'll freak out if I don't show up on time."

"Hmm?... Oh, your boyfriend, right."

Tidus giggled. "He's not my boyfriend, Auron, just a friend. Well, I'll see you later."

Auron stared after him as the door shut, caught between amusement and anxiety. Just a friend, huh? Was Tidus like that with all his friends, because the older man was pretty sure nothing good could come of that... Oh well, he had other things to worry about at the moment. Like the biggest source of his current annoyance. He'd hoped that it would go away on its own during Tidus' little drama show, but it hadn't. It stood tall and proud, laughing at him, making him grumble uncomfortably as he finished putting the groceries away, refusing to give it any attention before that job was done. Then he sat down heavily on the couch and flipped on the TV, not caring what show was on, just wanting the background noise as he unzipped his pants and took a firm hold of his throbbing erection.

_Let's get this over with quickly_, he thought bitterly, feeling like a perverted, dirty old man. He'd accidentally walked in on a boy who was supposed to be like a son to him engaged in an act of intimacy and had immediately become hard. If that wasn't bad enough, the problem had refused to correct itself, so here he was, masturbating to the memory of aforementioned intimacy. He didn't just feel like a pervert, he was a pervert.

This fact, of course, still didn't stop him as he grabbed his aching shaft, slowly pumping, shutting his eye tight. He tried thinking of other things at first, previous sexual encounters, bits of porn that had stuck in his mind, anything but Tidus. It wasn't working, his mind kept wandering back to what he'd seen. So he decided to try replacing Tidus with someone else, leaving the brunette and situation the same. That didn't work either. Tidus kept coming back, tanned hands gripping the other boy's lean, muscled hips, head moving rhythmically. He remembered the look on the brunette's face, how much he'd clearly been enjoying himself. _"That's it... Suck me harder, baby..."_ Was Tidus really that good?

The image in his mind changed. Tidus was still on his knees, but the brunette was gone, replaced by Auron himself. Tidus' hands gripped his hips this time, the boy bobbed his head on his length, licking up the shaft, cupping his balls... With a grunt, he came into his hand, seed spilling onto his red coat as he leaned his head back against the couch, breathing jagged. Once he'd returned from his temporary high, he frowned at the mess on himself and then frowned more when he truly realized what he'd just done; not the act itself but who he'd thought about while doing it. "Shit." He put his head into his clean hand, perturbed beyond words. He really was a horrible pervert.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

The brick wall was scratchy and harsh beneath Tidus' bare forearms and cheek. His hands were pinned above his head, his shorts around his ankles while the raven-haired man behind him thrust into him with rough abandon. The much larger male didn't seem to care that he was hurting Tidus' wrists, that his angle was horribly off and he was barely ever hitting Tidus' prostate, that the blond blitzer he was fucking was barely even erect anymore. Tidus, of course, said nothing, just shut his eyes and willed his partner to finish up so he could go back inside. A minute later he was granted his wish, mildly surprised when the older boy pulled out quickly rather than coming inside of him. Then again, it was the least he could do, considering he hadn't even bothered to make Tidus finish.

Spared the hassle of cleaning up a mess, Tidus pulled his shorts up over an only half-hard member and slipped back inside the Pegasus, skirting through the throngs of people to the booth where Dennick was waiting for him. He saw the brunette had refilled his drink and sat down with a thank you and a smile. Dennick smiled back softly, eyes troubled. That had been the fourth random guy Tidus had disappeared with that night, and he was starting to get worried. Tidus always went with plenty of guys, but this was a bit excessive even for him. They'd only been there for two hours.

Tidus drank his beer and happily chatted away with his friend, but when a cute red-head came up to him five minutes later, he started to follow him. Frowning, Dennick stuck his foot out underneath the table and placed it firmly on Tidus' seat, blocking him from sliding out of the booth. "Stay," he commanded in his most firm voice.

Despite the fact that Dennick's soft voice, firm or not, had about as much authority as a ten year old girl's, Tidus immediately sank back in his seat, looking like a whipped puppy. He smiled apologetically at the red-head, who took the hint and scurried away, before looking incredulously at Dennick, not understanding. "What's wrong? Did you know him?"

"No."

"Then why'd you stop me?"

Dennick frowned more at this. "Because I don't want you to get hurt."

Tidus blinked, still not understanding. "By him? Dennick, I'm a pro player, you know, I'm not weak, and he was smaller than me... I wonder if he realized I don't top? He kinda looked like a bottom, didn't he? Though I shouldn't judge based on appearance..."

Dennick growled slightly, low in his throat. Tidus could be really dense sometimes. He certainly wasn't known for his brains. "Look, just stay with me, all right. If you wanna have sex, do it with me."

"But I don't wanna have sex with you!"

Dennick's one eyebrow raised slowly, and he waited until Tidus realized what he'd just said. Sure enough, "Oh! Shit, Dennick, I'm sorry! I didn't mean that, I do wanna have sex with you, really! In fact, I plan on having sex with you tonight, once--"

The older boy held up a hand, stopping his monologue before it was too late. "Then just wait until we leave. Unless you can't wait, in which case we can leave right now. Either way, don't go off with anyone else."

Tidus knew this was more possessive than Dennick normally was. After all, they weren't dating, they were just good friends, and he really had no right to tell Tidus who he could sleep with, particularly since he slept with other people too. Any other time, Tidus would have pointed this out and gotten defensive of being treated like a child. But tonight he simply nodded, seeing the serious look in the brunette's eyes. The same look he'd had earlier that evening when he thought Auron might hurt him. If this was bothering his friend for some reason, he could agree to his terms for the night. With a soft sigh, he finished his beer and smiled at the older boy, cocking his head ever so slightly. "Wanna dance then?"

Around three in the morning, the two boys entered Dennick's apartment, Tidus decently drunk, Dennick mildly buzzed. The older boy immediately led Tidus to his room, pushing the blond onto his bed and stripping his shoes off for him. "Hey," Tidus said indignantly, trying to bat the brunette's hands away, "I can do that myself. How gone do you think I am?"

Dennick laughed slightly, kissing Tidus warmly and shoving him onto his back. "I never said you couldn't do it, cutie. I just wanted to do it for you."

"Bastard," Tidus growled, lacing his fingers behind Dennick's strong neck and shutting his eyes peacefully. "You always do this. You don't have to."

"Do what? Treat you nicely? Or just treat you with respect?"

Blue eyes flashed open again, recognizing that tone of voice even when drunk. Dennick may have been playful a moment ago, but now, for the third time that night, he was very serious. Serious and upset. "Dennick..."

The brunette untangled the fingers from his neck and examined one of the boy's wrists which had small dark bruises forming on it. Tidus stared at it, trying to figure out where they'd come from, when he remembered the large, black-haired man who'd pinned him against the wall in the alley. Dennick glowered at it before gently placing his lips over it in a comforting gesture. "Do you even enjoy it when they fuck you, Tidus? Do you enjoy being used?"

The blitz player pursed his lips, mildly insulted. "No."

Another kiss, to the other wrist this time. "Then why do you do this?"

Tidus chose not to answer, closing his eyes again. Dennick pushed no further, stripping both of them and slowly pleasuring the boy beneath him, refusing to be pleasured back. He'd already gotten a blowjob earlier, and the boy was always attentive to his needs, giving him whatever he wanted. Right now was his time.

Tidus gave up trying to reciprocate Dennick's actions and let himself melt into the older boy's touch. Dennick treated him so gently, like he was fragile and would break if the brunette was too rough. Tidus knew he was doing this to make up for how gruffly everyone else treated him during sex, but he didn't have to. Hell, Tidus didn't really want him to. He never did anything to deserve being treated so delicately like this. He didn't deserve to be so... _loved._

Both Dennick and Tidus knew they loved the other one. They would never want a relationship with the other, it was the wrong kind of love for that. The love wasn't that of a true lover, but it was that of a dear friend and it was always apparent. Dennick showed his love better, of course, because he had such an affectionate personality. It was the reason Tidus had picked him out that first night at the Pegasus. Dennick was the sweetest person Tidus had ever met in his life, and he wouldn't want to change him for the world. But when they were having sex and Dennick treated him like this... it made Tidus' heart ache. He didn't deserve this.

Dennick pushed inside Tidus slowly, giving him more than enough time to adjust before rocking into him at a steady, even pace, nailing Tidus' prostate perfectly and making the blond whine beneath him. "Dennick... Dennick, go faster... C'mon, please..."

"No." The older boy continued his pace without faltering. "You don't want me to go faster so you'll feel good, you want me to ignore you and hurt you like they do. I won't do it." He placed a kiss tenderly on Tidus' forehead. "Sex isn't supposed to be a punishment, cutie. I don't know what you think you've done wrong, but I won't help you hurt yourself."

Tidus felt tears stinging the back of his eyes at his words, and even though he tried to hold them back, they ran down his cheeks unheeded the moment he blinked. Dennick wiped and kissed them away lovingly until they both came to a nearly simultaneous orgasm. A few minutes later, Tidus fell asleep in his arms, while Dennick murmured comfortingly to him. "You haven't done anything wrong, cutie. Please stop punishing yourself. You haven't done anything wrong."

Tidus didn't reply to this, just bit his lip and fought away fresh tears. _That's not true, Dennick. I've done something very wrong, and I can't stop it. I should have learned my lesson two years ago when I did it then, but I guess I never did... These feelings. I know they're wrong._ And when sleep took him he dreamed about a large, quiet man dressed in red.

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Reviews make Auron's fantasies come true faster. Don't let him down!


	5. Tidon

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Okay, I'm finally done editing chapter 5! Sorry for the wait, I was having some problems with my college loans... but no one wants to hear about that. This chapter's very tame... there's some language (there will always be language in my stories), and really just some mentions of sex. However, I must have gone temporarily insane when I was writing this because there's a very fluffy flashback scene. That's odd for me since I don't normally do fluff, so I hope you don't mind. There is more sex and violence coming. Anyway, read the chapter and enjoy!

Warnings: language, mentions of sex, fluff

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**Chapter 5: Tidon**

Tidus thought he had taken everything pretty well considering what all had happened. I mean, it wasn't everyday your entire life was flipped completely upside down. It wasn't everyday some giant monster attacks your home and when you wake up again you're in a completely different world. Alone. Abandoned. Again. So really what did people expect from him?

He knew he wasn't as "mature" as most of the people in this new world, in Spira. Of course he wasn't, he'd grown up in Zanarkand, where life was pretty much one big party. Then he comes here where everything's all doom and gloom and they want him to adjust instantly. Well tough shit, not going to happen, not that fast at least. He was adjusting slowly, and it was the best he could do. He didn't really care if it wasn't good enough for anybody else, he wasn't going to change his entire personality for them.

Besides, not everyone had a problem with him. Yuna liked him the way he was. Yuna who was so sweet and kind, who he could talk to for hours, who had automatically accepted him... after just a few days with her, she became precious to him. Not in a romantic way (obviously), but he found himself wanting to be by her side and protect her.

Honestly, she reminded him of a female Dennick. She was the only person he'd ever met whose compassion could compare to the older boy's. The older boy who had been the best friend Tidus had ever had and who he missed terribly. Having Yuna fill that missing role helped him cope greatly with this sudden drastic change in, well everything. Yuna was his new Dennick only more... fragile. Much more fragile. So she needed to be treated with care, and he was going to do it. He would take care of her, in a way no one else could.

It made his heart soar when she said in those woods she wanted him to be one of her guardians. She wanted to keep him near. It didn't matter that the others were against it for whatever different reasons they had. _She_ wanted him around, and that was good enough. It was enough to once again quell the loss of Dennick and quell the loss of... him. It was enough to keep away the feelings of being left behind by the most important person in his life.

He had to admit he cheered up some once they reached Luca. It was thriving, there were lots of people, the closest thing to Zanarkand he'd encountered since he'd been there. And he got to play blitzball. What more could he want? Really there was plenty more, but he wasn't selfish or stupid enough to ask for or expect it. Even the one thing he really wanted.

And Luca turned out to be an interesting place, what with rumors that made Tidus' heart stop, Al Bhed kidnappings, angry Ronsos, and finally, none other than fiends who somehow managed to slip not only into the city, but straight into the fucking blitzball sphere. And like the good little trooper he was, Tidus took all of this in stride, doing his very best not to utter one word of complaint, lest he be labeled a whiny little boy again. He did what he was supposed to, protected Yuna, helped Wakka beat the fiends in the sphere, and after the last one was dead he looked up into the now empty stands and... _Auron._

His world felt like it came crashing around him again and he couldn't breathe. He was here. The rumor earlier had been true, he was really here.

After that, time sort of flew by unheeded. He remembered defeating more fiends with Auron right by his side, remembered the creepy maester guy summoning some ridiculously powerful monster, remembered checking to make sure Yuna was completely unharmed. Then it was just him and Auron, alone. And he didn't want to take all this shit in stride anymore.

He screamed at Auron about how all of this was his fault while the man just stood there, silently watching and letting him have his temper tantrum. Then, as if all of this hadn't been enough, Auron told him that Sin was Jecht. The straw that broke the camel's back and actually made him forget his complicated feelings towards Auron for the moment. He was the son of an entire world's suffering. Great. Just fucking great.

By the time the group had stopped at an inn for the night, Tidus had finally calmed down, enough to talk to Auron again, at least. Not yell at him again, not use him to vent his frustrations. Actually talk. He knocked tentatively on the door and waited until a gruff voice called, "Come in." Entering hesitantly, he found the red-clad warrior sitting on his bed, sipping from his sake jug. He walked over to him, blue eyes never leaving that amber one. "I wanted to apologize."

Auron wasn't surprised, having been waiting for the teenager to show up at his door. He knew the boy well enough to know he'd feel guilty about yelling at him earlier. "There's nothing to apologize for. It's understandable that you were upset."

"Yeah but--" The boy made a strangled noise in his throat. "Just because I was upset doesn't mean I should've yelled at _you_. You didn't do anything wrong."

"It's all right."

"No, no it's not." Tidus looked frustrated now, like he wanted to explain something and didn't know how. Auron waited patiently until he finally sighed, deflated, and looked back up at his guardian again. "I'm sorry. I'm really glad you're here. I thought... I thought maybe you didn't want me anymore..."

The wording was awkward, but Auron knew what he meant and it made him frown. He hadn't said anything like that since he'd brought the damn cat home.

_Auron was on the deck of the houseboat, training with his sword when he heard Tidus call him cheerfully from the living room. With a grunt of response, he swung his Marasame up onto his shoulder, heading inside. It had been around six months since he'd come to Zanarkand and he was slowly getting used to this new life. The boy was a little emotional, but nothing he couldn't handle, and he was getting the hang of parenting. He'd even let the boy have some friends over for a "party" to celebrate his birthday two weeks ago. Admittedly he hadn't enjoyed a dozen eight year old boys running around and tearing the house apart, but he'd suffered through it and did a good job of it. It was just another challenge, and dammit, Auron could handle any challenge you gave him._

_Now as he entered the house, he found Tidus standing in the living room with a ridiculous grin on his face, a large bundle of golden brown fur in his arms. Auron blinked once, twice, then, "What the hell is that?"_

_"It's a kitty." Tidus held the cat out for Auron to see better._

_A kitty? Auron examined the beast in the boy's arms with a growing frown. The cat was very big, it's fur was long and somewhat matted, letting him know it was definitely a stray, it looked old and very angry, and to top it off, it's one eye was permanently shut under a scar. Only Tidus could possibly describe it as 'a kitty.'_

_"Can I keep him?"_

_Auron's eye narrowed dangerously. "No."_

_The smile dropped off Tidus' face so fast it was comical. "What? But--"_

_"I said no."_

_"Why?"_

_"I _do not _like cats. Now put it back where you found it, it probably has fleas."_

_"B-but..." The child's eyes shined with tears about to escape. "But I already named him."_

_"Tidus, I don't--"_

_"His name's Tidon."_

_Auron stopped when hearing the name, afraid to ask, but doing so anyway. "Why is his name Tidon?"_

_Tidus looked at him like he wasn't quite all there and said like it was the most simple answer in the world, "Because Aurus sounds weird."_

_While he hadn't been expecting that, it still answered his question. Tidus had fused their names together. Yevon help him, he knew the boy wasn't so bright but, "Tidus, couldn't you have been a little more creative?"_

_The boy stared blankly for a moment, until he figured out what his guardian meant, then scowled. "But it fits him." Before Auron could ask how it fit him, the boy continued excitedly, "He's like you 'cuz he _looks _grumpy and mean, but then when you go to pick him up he's really sweet and cuddly, plus he's only got one eye. And he's like me 'cuz no one wants him." _

_The warrior wanted to object being called sweet and cuddly, but then realized what the boy had just said. "What do you mean no one wants him?" His voice came out harsher than he'd meant it to, but Tidus didn't mind, used to his gruff mannerisms._

_"Well, when my friends and me found him, they were all saying how ugly he was and how they'd never want a pet like him. I don't see why. I don't think he's that ugly, and he's a good kitty. I've been holding him for a long time now and he hasn't even tried to get away." _

_Auron scratched his jaw, accepting this answer well enough. But, "Why do you say no wants you?"_

_"Huh?" The boy scrunched his face up, like he couldn't fathom why Auron had asked that. "Well, first _he _left and never came back, but I really don't care about him. Then my mom died and left because she missed him and I wasn't good enough. Then after she left, no one wanted to take me. They fought not to."_

_Auron felt himself stiffen. "How do you know that?"_

_The boy shrugged indifferently. "I heard them. After mom died and I stayed with her friends for a few days. They fought with each other all the time because none of them wanted me. They actually argued over it, like taking me would be horrible. The way my friends were talking about the cat... that's kinda how they talked about me. I mean, they didn't call me ugly, but..." He shrugged again, hugging the monstrous cat to him a little tighter._

_Auron wasn't exactly sure what to say. First off, he was furious that a bunch of adults had allowed a child to hear them talking about such things, and he had a half a mind to go find them and teach them a lesson. More importantly, though, was getting this ridiculous notion of being unwanted out of Tidus' head. It was stupid. "I wanted you, didn't I?" And with that he turned to go back outside, deeming the conversation over._

_The blond gave him a sickly sweet smile that didn't seem real. "It's okay, Auron, you don't have to lie. I know you only took me 'cuz you promised."_

_Instantly, Auron froze, and it felt like his blood froze too. He cocked his head slightly so he could peer back at the little boy who was still smiling forcibly. What had he just said? "Who told you that?"_

_The smile slowly faded and the boy looked genuinely confused. "You did."_

_There was a long silence as Auron contemplated kicking himself. He had said that, hadn't he? Not in quite the way the boy was implying, but he'd said it none the less. Right after his mother's funeral, when Auron had told him he'd be taking care of him from now on, he had asked why. And what had the legendary guardian replied? _"It was a promise to Jecht." _Shit. "Tidus, that's not true."_

_The boy raised an eyebrow quizzically. "You're not here 'cuz you made a promise to _him_?"_

_Auron exhaled sharply, running a hand roughly through his hair. He really didn't want to talk about this and go through the hassle of explaining everything to a child. Why couldn't the boy just drop it and go along with what he said? "No, I am, but... Look, just take that thing back where you found it, all right?" He turned to go outside again when he heard the whispered, "No." He spun around, his patience wearing thin by now. "What?"_

_The boy gave him a look of sheer determination, gaze not faltering even under Auron's intense glare. "I said no. I'm keeping him. I don't care if no one wants him, _I _do. He didn't do anything to deserve being treated like a chore or a pain. It's not fair."_

_Understanding very slowly started to dawn on Auron. This wasn't really about the cat anymore, was it? "Tidus--"_

_"He doesn't know why no one wants him, but it's not his fault. So how is he supposed to fix it?" Voice steadily rising, tears were streaming down the boy's tan cheeks by now as Auron took a few steps closer. "And if you don't want him, then maybe you should just go away! Because he doesn't need you! So just leave if you don't wanna be around him! Leave like everyone else!"_

_Auron grabbed the boy's shoulders, dislodging the cat who landed easily on its feet before curling up on the couch a few feet away. Tidus wriggled to get free, but Auron tightened his grip, not about to let him go. "Tidus, I came here _originally _because I wanted to keep a promise to your father. I promised I would look after you and care for you. That's why I _originally _took you after your mother died." He took the boy's face in his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "Just because I originally took you in because of a promise, doesn't mean I don't want you. If Jecht showed up at the door right now and told me I was free to leave, I wouldn't go anywhere. I would still stay here with you, no matter what. Do you understand?" And that was when he first realized how important Tidus was to him._

_The boy stared owlishly like he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Then, very slowly, his usual cheerful grin found its way back to his face. "That's the most I ever heard you talk."_

_Auron grunted, relief flooding over him. He thought he'd gotten the hang of this whole parenting thing, but he obviously still had a lot to learn. He didn't even realize Tidus had felt this way and he'd already been with him for six months. His obliviousness could have been disastrous here. He had to more careful. And he would._

_A small sound on his right caught his attention, and he turned to see the monster cat stretching and yawning before settling into a more comfortable position, making itself right at home. He sighed. "You know, that cat looks pretty old."_

_Tidus examined the cat for a moment before nodding. "I know."_

_"That means it probably won't live too much longer."_

_Tidus looked at Auron sincerely. "I know, but that's more of a reason to keep him, isn't it? He deserves to at least be happy for however much longer he has left."_

_The warrior drew back slightly in surprise before offering a small smile and ruffling golden hair. The child was too sweet for his own good, how could anyone ever not want him? "Well then you should probably go to the store. I'm sure it's hungry."_

_With a squeal of delight, the boy bolted from the houseboat, not even bothering to close the door behind him. Auron sighed again, rubbing his forehead to ease the tension and then locked eyes with the beast on the couch. One amber eye met one golden one as they silently sized the other up. With a resigned grunt, the larger of the two ran rough fingers over the matted fur on the monster's head for just a few seconds and was startled when it instantly started purring, eye half-closing peacefully. Well, maybe this wouldn't be that bad after all. _

_And later that night as he read on the couch with Tidus asleep against his shoulder and the monster curled up in his lap, he allowed himself a genuine smile, enjoying the comforting weight and warmth from both of their bodies. Not that bad at all. _

Now Auron found himself upset at the boy's words. He had been under the impression those thoughts of being unwanted had been put to rest for good. "You know that's not true."

Tidus laughed and shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, I know, sorry. It's just... you were gone, y'know, and I just thought you had left for good maybe..." He shook his head as if to clear it of all thought. "Sorry, it was just me being stupid. Besides, you're back now, right?"

Auron grunted, feeling suddenly uncomfortable in the overwhelming heat of the inn. He stood briefly, shucking his coat before returning to his original position. Noting that Tidus was still standing, he motioned to the bed for him to sit. The boy just cleared his throat awkwardly, backing away a few steps.

"Thanks, Auron, but I'm gonna get goin'. Gonna see what Yuna's up to... See ya later." He scrambled out the door, slamming it shut behind him before sliding down it to sit on the floor, feeling abhorred with himself. He'd watched Auron take off his coat, a completely normal, everyday thing to do, and he'd gotten excited by it. He'd stared at the rippling muscles, the skin-tight black leather, the chest beneath that leather, imagined running his fingers over it... and he'd gotten an erection. A fucking erection because the man took off his coat! He understood that he was still young and therefore easily excitable, but Yevon!

Still in the room, Auron furrowed his brow at the closed door, wondering why Tidus had run off like that. Oh well, if he'd let himself get worried over every odd thing the boy had done since in his care, he'd have gone insane by now. The more important issue was the old feelings his parting with the boy had surfaced. He hadn't _meant_ to get separated from Tidus when they were thrown into Spira. Quite the opposite, he'd expected to stay with him and help him out in what was a completely new world for him. But Jecht had obviously had other plans for the boy, it wasn't his fault.

And of course, the brat's first thought when finding Auron gone was that he wasn't wanted anymore. Dammit, why did he have to be so insecure? Just because some people hadn't wanted him in the past didn't mean things were still that way. _I want him. I... really want him..._

Instantly Auron chastised himself, hating his thoughts for where they were straying. That _had not_ been what the boy meant, and he knew it. He'd meant it the same way as when he was a child, nothing more. To take a completely innocent statement and turn it sexual- it was disgusting. He was disgusting.

Ever since that evening nearly a year ago when he'd walked in on Tidus with his friend, he couldn't get the boy out of his mind. His dreams constantly featured himself with Tidus doing any number of things, and when he woke up hard and had to take care of it, nothing but thoughts of the blond could truly satisfy him. It took all his self-restraint sometimes not to pin the boy down and fuck him into the ground.

He growled low in his throat, grabbing a fistful of hair. Some guardian he was. If only Jecht could see what he was thinking. He'd asked Auron to look after his son, care for the boy, and this was the result? He would kill him. And Auron would deserve it.

In the hall, Tidus bit his lip hard before getting to his feet and wandering to the lobby, where he was surprised and delighted to find an entire blitz team checking in. This was exactly what he needed. He spent the rest of the evening with them, mostly talking about blitzball, of course. Tidus carefully chatted up each member, finally deciding on three that might be interested, and made his move with practiced ease.

He hadn't slept with anyone since he'd come to Spira, but he knew now that he had to. After all, if he had enough sex he'd stop thinking about Auron, right? So with this in mind he did his best to seduce the three he'd picked out, only having any luck with one of them. Evidently finding a quick lay in Spira would be much harder than in Zanarkand, at least if you were gay. It apparently went against Yevon's teachings. Something about gay couples not being able to reproduce, and they needed lots of babies to keep up Spira's population after Sin constantly ravaged it. Whatever, thank Yevon for hypocrites and sinners, because one of the men Tidus came onto gave way easily enough, following Tidus to his room obediently.

Tidus made up for his lack of partners by going three rounds with the one he did have, actually enjoying himself since the older blitzer was a considerate bedmate. And a skilled one too, despite it being his first time with a guy. Three rounds of amazing sex should keep his mind from lusting after Auron for a while, right? What more could he possibly do?

And though it was disappointing, he couldn't say he was really surprised when he still dreamed of Auron that night. Because he was coming to terms with the fact that what he felt for Auron wasn't just lust. It was much more. Lust would have been taken care of, at least temporarily, with the constant sleeping around he'd been doing the past year and a half. These feelings were always there. And no matter how wrong it was, he just couldn't make these feelings go away. He didn't know how.

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Oh God, the fluff bunnies could kill! Like I said before, more sex and violence on the way... Now let's see who gets a cookie for reviewing!

PhoenixCharmer116

XxXFailureByDesignXxX

Catheli

NeonGreen69

Anbu Aoko

Pederz

Woohoo, they're all on my all-star list! And just as a side note to what Pederz said about Tidus being slow- Hell yes, I will always write Tidus as a total sweetheart but slow with random (note the word random) bursts of intelligence that confuse everyone. Kind of like how I always wrote Luffy from One Piece. Anyway, hope it doesn't confuse anyone! Read the next chapter for some hardcore yaoi!


	6. Good OldFashioned Gangbang

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Ah, finally finished with this. God, this chapter is a monster compared to the others. Oh well, that's just more for you guys to read I guess.

Warnings: language, attempted non-con (nothing happens but it's still attempted so I feel I should warn you), and hardcore yaoi which includes a moresome. Have fun!

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**Chapter 6: Good Old-Fashioned Gangbang**

Rikku, Tidus decided, was his long lost sister. Along with some similarities in appearance, their personalities were nearly identical. Both were child-like in how the viewed the world, doing their best to look on the bright side no matter what the situation. They both did everything in their power to keep the others, especially Yuna, happy with their cheerful demeanors and silly antics. Truth be told, they worked well together, quite often making the entire party laugh after one of their better schemes. Tidus couldn't have been happier that she'd decided to join them on the pilgrimage.

Now, as the group neared Guadosalam, he and Rikku hung back slightly, talking in hushed excitement, plotting their next ingenious endeavor. It was a dangerous undertaking, something Tidus had only managed once in his youth. Something that risked their lives, nay their very souls. Take Auron's sunglasses.

"You know if we pull this off he'll kill us, right?"

Rikku giggled uncontrollably, covering her mouth quickly to avoid suspicion. "Yeah, but that's half the fun."

Well, Tidus couldn't argue with that. Besides, how great would it be to see the look on Auron's face if they succeeded. "All right, how should we do this?"

Rikku giggled again, leaning in closer and explaining her brilliant plan while Tidus listened closely so as not to miss anything. Really, it was beyond simple, consisting of catching Auron off guard and using teamwork and numbers to their advantage. Tidus looked ahead of them where Auron was at the front of the group, oblivious to what was being plotted behind him. Oh yes, this would be worth whatever punishment would come later.

The smallest of sounds suddenly caught his attention and he stopped walking, cocking his head and straining his ears. What had he just heard?

"Tidus?"

"Shh!" He listened desperately, but there was nothing, only the normal sounds of the woods around them.

"Tidus what's wrong?" Rikku looked both curious and somewhat concerned, so Tidus gave her a reassuring smile. "It's nothing, sorry." He took a few more steps, glad the others hadn't noticed them and his foolishness. What had he thought--

And then he heard it again, and he knew what it was. A scream. A muffled scream, fairly far off and quiet enough so it barely reached him, but he still heard the note of panic. Was someone in trouble?

"Did you hear that?" he demanded of Rikku, but the girl looked at him like he was crazy. "Hear what?"

And then another sound assaulted his ears, just as distant as the scream, but just as clear. A laugh. A quiet, small, sadistic laugh, and his mind was filled with the image of cold, dark eyes and a sneering smile. Without thinking, he grabbed his sword tightly and took off into the woods, away from the path.

"Tidus?"

He ignored Rikku's call as he was swallowed by the thick foliage, running as fast as he could in the direction of the sounds, trying to make himself breathe. That laugh... he'd heard that laugh before. Not that exact one, of course, but the _kind _of laugh. He knew what was going on, he knew what he would find. He had to get there fast, before it was too late.

The muffled screams continued to get steadily louder and he could hear a male voice, the owner of that laugh. It was telling the screamer to shut up, be good and they wouldn't get hurt. Tidus' legs pumped furiously and he finally burst into a small clearing, not in the least surprised by what he saw. A little girl, around thirteen or so, pinned to the ground by a man in his thirties. He sat over top of her, one hand clamped over her mouth while the other held a knife threateningly. She looked at Tidus as he rushed over, eyes scared and pleading, tears streaming silently down her cheeks. And then everything else was a blur.

He remembered dropping his sword, not even thinking about using it. His foot came up to kick the pervert in the side of the head, knocking him off the girl. He pinned the bastard down and started pounding his fists into him, his pure fury making up for the difference in size. The man below him struggled, but he just kept pounding. Just kept pounding...

"Tidus!" Big arms, much stronger than his wrapped around him, trying to pull him off the pervert. He strained against them, kept hitting the man beneath him, kept swearing at the disgusting prick. The arms wrapped tighter, yanking him away. "Tidus, stop! You'll kill him!"

He didn't stop, not willingly at least, but the arms were too strong, and they won. He fell backwards, winding up in the lap of the arms' owner, panting for breath and desperately trying to continue his attack. "Stop, Tidus, it's over," a voice said in his ear, and he felt himself calm down slightly. That voice. "Auron?"

"It's all right, Tidus, it's done. She's safe, it's all right."

She? The girl, of course. He looked quickly over to where the little girl was quietly sobbing in Rikku's arms, scared, but unharmed except for some bruises and scratches. He'd gotten there in time. The pervert hadn't been able to...

He suddenly felt bile rise in the back of his throat and fought hard to keep it down as he slowly became aware of his surroundings. The girl and Rikku were a few feet away from where he sat in Auron's lap. Next to him and Auron was the pervert, unconscious and very badly beaten. Beaten... had he done that?

He looked down at himself, eyes wide. The front of his clothes were splattered with the pervert's blood, his hands were red with it. And he was shaking violently. Why? Why couldn't he stop shaking? Why was his face wet? Was he crying? Why?

A gloved hand not his own suddenly appeared on his face, wiping the moisture away. Shit, he had to get himself together. "I'm sorry, Auron."

"It's all right, Tidus, you did a good job. Just relax for a minute. Calm down."

Tidus shut his eyes and leaned back into Auron's comforting warmth, soaking it up like a sponge. He was right, everything was fine now, the girl was safe. He had to just breathe and calm himself so they could get the girl back to her family. That was what mattered at the moment. He had to take care of the girl.

When Auron felt Tidus' fierce tremors reduce to soft trembles, he reluctantly let him go, helping the boy stand and brushing off his red coat. They had to move, the others were waiting, and darkness was coming faster than expected. So much for making it to Guadosalam that night. It would have to wait until tomorrow. Besides, Tidus was badly shaken, he needed rest. He had earned it.

Approaching Rikku and the girl whose sobs had dwindled to occasional sniffles, he reached out a comforting hand. "Are you all right?"

He wasn't particularly surprised or offended when the girl pulled away from him, burrowing herself into Rikku as far as she could go. He knew how intimidating he was, and the girl had just been attacked by a man, she probably didn't want any male near her. So when Tidus pushed past him then, holding out his arms to the girl, he moved to pull him back. "Tidus, I don't think--" He stopped talking and just stared stunned when the child literally leapt at Tidus, wrapping her arms around his neck tight enough to strangle the boy. She didn't seem to mind the fact that he had blood on him or that he was still trembling himself. He picked her up easily, wrapping his arms around her protectively, and then took a few steps before turning to Auron with a sheepish look on his face. "I don't really know the way back."

Auron offered him the smallest of smiles before grunting and leading the way, leaving the pervert where he was. Honestly, Auron wasn't sure he would survive with the way Tidus had managed to beat his head in, but he didn't care one way or another. The would-be rapist deserved whatever happened to him.

The red-clad man went at a fairly slow pace, trying to be considerate of Tidus who was carrying the girl when he looked about to pass out. After a minute or so he said, "See if she'll tell you where she's from." Tidus repeated the question to the girl who mumbled into his neck that she had stopped at the inn with her parents. Auron grunted acknowledgement, knowing there was only one inn nearby, luckily not far from them. It wouldn't be difficult to get her back.

They reached the edge of the woods and immediately Yuna swept upon them, face lit up in worry. Questions spilled from her, asking what had happened, until Rikku cleared her throat harshly and nodded her head towards the cowering girl in Tidus' arms. Instantly, the summoner went quiet, understanding slowly dawning on her. She flitted over to Tidus, fawning over the small girl, stroking back strands of bright red hair. The girl allowed Yuna to pet her, the same way she'd allowed Rikku to hold her earlier, but she still clung to Tidus like a limpet.

The group continued on without incident for a while; that is until Wakka got too close to the girl, causing her to shriek and panic. The Besaid Aurouch quickly corrected his mistake, apologizing profusely over and over, but the girl's hysteria continued. Auron watched in awe as Tidus calmed the girl, murmuring soft words he couldn't hear and stroking her hair and back. She responded to his ministrations, quieting and holding onto him in a grip that would leave bruises, as if he were her lifeline. And she stayed that way, refusing to let go for anything, pale arms tight around his brown neck until nearly an hour later the group reached the inn.

"This is the inn you were at, correct?" Auron asked the girl, doing his best to keep his voice soft.

The child lifted her head from Tidus' shoulder, looked around her briefly, then nodded, hiding her face again. Relieved, Auron led the way inside, going to the front desk and asking where he could find the girl's parents. The young woman behind the desk gasped, crying out, "Thank goodness you found her! We've been looking all over!" and rushed down a hall. Almost immediately she was followed back by a middle-aged couple who ran to the girl, ripping her from Tidus' grasp. They fussed over her and her mother took her by the hand, leading her down the hall and presumably back to their room. Auron then briefly informed the girl's father of what had happened, and he practically fell at Tidus' feet, thanking him over and over again while the boy shifted nervously, looking more uncomfortable by the second.

After the man had finally been chased away by one of Auron's infamous glares, Wakka scratched the back of his head and said as normally as possible, "So we stayin' here tonight, ya?"

Murmurs of agreement rose from the others and they found that there were four empty rooms available. Yuna briefly handed out room assignments, herself and Kimahri, Lulu and Rikku, Tidus and Wakka, and of course Sir Auron by himself; until Auron politely declined, saying he didn't mind sharing with Tidus. Yuna nodded her understanding, shooting a troubled glance at her friend who was still trembling slightly and seemed to have drawn completely into his own mind. She handed Auron the room key with a soft, "Take care of him," and Auron grunted, gathering Tidus to him and heading off down the hall.

Tidus had kind of zoned out after Auron had gotten rid of the man groveling in front of him and was surprised to find himself in a room of the inn with Auron checking his temperature. He blinked stupidly, before pushing the warrior's hand away with a mumbled, "What're you doing, old man?"

"Just checking."

Tidus frowned and turned away, doing everything to avoid eye contact with his former caretaker. _Great, now he thinks I'm sick or somethin'. _Out loud he said, "I'm takin' a shower," and retreated to the bathroom as quickly as he could. The hot water soothed him decently and his trembling finally stopped. Of course, with that came a greater awareness of what all had happened and he cursed himself for losing control like he had. Not only Auron but Rikku had also seen. She saw him mutilate another human being, saw him crying... Shit, how was he supposed to fix this?

Exiting from the shower he found Auron sitting on the bed, watching him intently, and he wished he could shrink into himself and disappear. Anything to avoid this intense scutiny. He had to get out of there, he couldn't be in a room alone with Auron right now. "Hey, I'm gonna go to the lounge area, it looked pretty nice. Had a bar..."

Auron grunted and stood, adjusting his collar. "Wouldn't mind stopping by the bar myself."

Tidus forced a grin and tried to take on his usual cheery, nonchalant attitude. "You're going to the bar? There might actually be people there, you know, you might have to actually, like, talk or something. You sure you can handle it?"

Auron scowled. Just because he'd avoided the loud, exuberant bars in Zanarkand didn't mean he minded the quiet, more reserved ones in Spira. He didn't mind being around people as long as they weren't being ridiculous. And most of the people in Zanarkand he had found to be ridiculous.

Tidus laughed at the look on the warrior's face and led the way out of the room. "Come on then, old man." And that was how Auron found himself seated at a table in the lounge area, sipping sake and keeping a close eye on the boy downing shots at the bar. Despite his facade of normalcy, Auron could tell Tidus was still upset over what had happened. He just wasn't sure which part exactly was bothering him. It could have been that the girl had nearly been assaulted in such a despicable way. Tidus had always been so caring of other people and hated seeing them hurt. Then it could have been the way he'd attacked the girl's assailant. The boy had never hurt anybody like that, whether they deserved it or not, and nearly killing someone for the first time is always disturbing. Then it could have been a combination of those and more. Maybe he should try talking to the boy about it?

That idea was immediately dismissed when Rikku came in, dragging Yuna and Lulu behind her, consequently followed by Kimahri and Wakka. Auron watched Tidus tense up at the sight of the blond Al Bhed and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Rikku, however, acted like her normal chipper self, obviously not faking it either. Anything Tidus had done or any way he had acted earlier was all right with her. Tidus relaxed visibly after that and he stopped doing shots while Rikku started them, urging the other two females to drink as well and ordering a round of beers for everyone. Auron sighed. This would be a long night.

It was only about a half an hour later when an already toasted Rikku did everything in her attractive teenage power to hit on an older raven-haired boy sitting at the bar with them. Auron chuckled at her fervor, knowing her efforts when in vain. The boy was definitely interested in a blond all right, but not her. His eyes were set firmly on Tidus, and once he finally got it across to Rikku that he wasn't interested, he made his move. As he bent down so he could whisper in the boy's ear, Auron felt his fist clench unconsciously. What was this feeling? Was he... jealous?

Tidus was surprised to be hit on by a guy for the first time since he'd come to Spira. Surprised and delighted. He exchanged names with him, Hiroki apparently, let the older boy buy him a shot and graciously accepted the compliments about his looks with a coy smile. Then Hiroki asked if he wanted to have some fun with him and his two friends. Tidus' smile grew. After all, what better way to forget your troubles than a good old-fashioned gangbang? He was led to a room where, sure enough, two more older boys were waiting, one brunette and one blond. They both brightened as soon as they saw Tidus, immediately pouncing on their prey.

Tidus wasn't wasted, but he was decently drunk as the boys started to strip both him and themselves. His shirt went first and he felt the Hiroki's hands snake around him from behind, thumbs rubbing circles over his now erect nipples as he leaned back into a warm, muscled chest. The blond divested him of his shorts from the front and knelt down next to his slowly growing member, stroking it lightly. Behind him, Hiroki kissed and sucked at the junction between his neck and shoulder, pinching his nipples lightly between thumb and forefinger. When Tidus made a small noise, he pinched much harder, causing a louder noise to escape the boy. Hiroki chuckled, delighted with this new development. "Are you a masochist, Tidus?"

What? No one had ever asked him that before. Tidus paused, not sure how to answer. He didn't like being coddled and actually enjoyed a certain degree of roughness, but he was a far cry from an actual masochist. Of course, in this situation he wanted his partners to be violent within reason, so he settled for a mumbled, "Sorta."

Hiroki chuckled again and shot a grin at the brunette still standing apart from them. This would be a fun night.

As Hiroki continued to abuse his nipples from behind, the blond in front of him licked the tip of his member playfully, looking up with an incredibly sexy expression gracing his pretty face. "Hiroki, should I suck him?"

Hiroki grunted his approval, nipping Tidus' neck. "Go ahead, make him feel good. He'll service us in time, right, Tidus?"

Tidus nodded, breath catching in his throat as the blond engulfed him into a very skilled mouth. He shut his eyes and let sensation take over as the blond sucked him off in front and behind him Hiroki continued his assault, now alternating between butterfly kisses and hard bites along his neck and shoulders. It didn't take long before he started to feel a familiar heat coiling in the pit of his stomach. His muscles tensed and Hiroki gave his nipples a particularly painful twist. "Would you like to come, Tidus?"

Tidus bit his bottom lip, the heat growing. "Yes, if that's okay."

Hiroki nibbled his pulse, smirking. "Such a good boy, asking for permission." His hands dropped to either side the blond's head and pulled it the rest of the way down over Tidus' length. Tidus felt himself hit the back of the blond's throat, and the heat surged as Hiroki moved the blond's head back and forth rapidly, taking him deep each time. Tidus could only give a small cry of warning before erupting into the blond's mouth, sagging against Hiroki for support afterwards.

Hiroki's deep chuckle sounded in his ear and he felt himself being lifted bodily over to the bed where he was laid on his back. The older boy pet his hair like you would do with a cat, smiling all the while. "Tidus, my friend here has a favor to ask you. See he's never gotten to top before and he wants to try it. You'll let him top you, won't you?"

Tidus looked lazily at the blond who had just given him head and noticed him bobbing back and forth on the balls of his feet in apprehension. "Sure." Why the hell not, he'd let people take him for their first time on several occasions. They were normally sloppy and sometimes even hurt him, but he didn't mind. He'd already come once, and this wasn't really for enjoyment anyway. "How's he wanna do it?"

"Mmm..." Hiroki looked the blond over, a mischievous smirk on his face. "Since it's his first time, will you ride him, Tidus?"

Ride him? Well, it certainly wouldn't hurt that way, Tidus knew what he was doing. "Okay." Tidus sat up, making room for the blushing blond to lay down and watch him straddle his length, eyes wide and excited. "Do you have lube? I don't really like doing it dry if--"

The brunette, who had yet to participate or say a word shoved a bottle of lotion at him which he took gratefully. He didn't mind pain, but fucking dry was just... He coated the length beneath him with the lotion and positioned himself neatly before lowering, pushing it inside. If he had been worried about pain, he would have prepared himself first, but the burning that he met with on the sudden intrusion didn't phase him. He heard the blond groan loudly and mutter something about heat, but he paid it no mind, already moving expertly.

Hiroki and the brunette watched him ride their friend both stroking their own lengths leisurely, expressions clearly saying they were enjoying the show. After a minute or so, Hiroki made a sudden movement behind him, grabbing the discarded bottle of lotion. Tidus paused, curious, and Hiroki took ahold of his hips encouragingly. "Don't stop." Tidus obeyed and continued grinding down on the cock inside of him, watching Hiroki coat his length out of the corner of his eye. The raven-haired boy moved closer, positioning himself between the blond's legs, chest flush with Tidus' back. "I'm gonna fuck him while you ride him."

The blond below Tidus made a small noise of surprise then cried out ecstatically when Hiroki pushed inside of him. Tidus didn't pause in his movements, though his brain registered that this was something he'd never done before in all of his sexual explorations. He felt Hiroki thrust hard into the blond, causing the blond to buck into him, causing him to slam down hard on the blond which then exploded into a flurry of movement Tidus could no longer control. He shut his eyes and let himself be swept along, allowing Hiroki the control now.

He felt the bed dip slightly from weight and felt a thumb trace over his lips before pushing inside. When he cracked his eyes open, he saw the brunette standing on the bed, a leg on either side of the blond, his erection right in front of Tidus' face. Tidus raised his eyebrows ever so slightly, rolling his tongue over the thumb in his mouth. The brunette quickly removed the digit, pressing the head of his cock against Tidus' lips, a wordless command that Tidus followed immediately. He felt a hand grab a fistful of his hair and the cock was shoved deeper. He let the brunette have the control he clearly wanted, knowing now why the blond had never topped. Neither Hiroki or the brunette were the type to let someone have that much power over them. He allowed the brunette to command his head's movements, skillfully using his tongue, submitting easily.

The brunette let out a long sigh. "Fuck, you're good."

This continued for several minutes until Tidus felt the blond beneath him spasm and cry out loudly, spilling his seed into Tidus' hole. Hiroki pulled out from the blond then as the brunette did the same from Tidus' mouth. Hiroki lifted him off the blond's softening member, pulling him back into his own lap. "Did you enjoy that, Tidus?"

Tidus hummed his approval of the experience, languidly reaching a hand between them and stroking Hiroki's still erect cock. Hiroki smiled at this, leaning his head closer to Tidus'. "I see you've noted my little problem. Will you help me take care of it?"

Tidus nodded and took note of the look Hiroki exchanged with the brunette. "We've both got the same problem, Tidus. Can you help both of us?"

Tidus nodded again, wondering what exactly he had in mind. He was game for anything, of course, so it really didn't matter. Whatever they wanted.

Hastily, Hiroki grabbed the lotion, tossing it to the brunette. "Make sure you use a lot." Then he spun Tidus around , leading him to wrap his legs around his waist. He caught him in a deep kiss, sliding in with ease. Tidus nipped at the older boy's collarbone, feeling very full. He waited for Hiroki to move, but he was still, holding Tidus in his lap and looking over his shoulder at the brunette. When Tidus felt the brunette's chest against his back and felt his erection rub the cleft of his ass he suddenly knew what they wanted to do, and his eyes widened ever so slightly.

Hiroki took note of the blitzer's expression and he kissed Tidus' temple softly. "We've really wanted to try this for a long time, but we've never had the chance. Will you let us do this, Tidus?"

Tidus smirked, knowing the outcome already. What they wanted was entirely possible, but he wasn't stretched enough for it at the moment. He hadn't been prepared at all before and the blond's cock had been decently average, stretching him somewhat, but somewhat only. Hiroki and the brunette were both most definitely above average. Just Hiroki by himself stretched Tidus quite a bit, and if they did what they wanted... Tidus knew the result would be painful on his end if he didn't stretch himself better first. He just didn't really care.

As soon as he nodded, the brunette pushed himself in next to Hiroki with a grunt. He paused a moment to let Tidus adjust and then thrust once, both he and Hiroki groaning. "It's so tight... Shit! Hiroki, there's blood."

Hiroki's eyes snapped open and he looked down to see a trickle of blood hit the white sheets of the bed. "Fuck, he tore. Quick, pull out."

The brunette started to comply when Tidus said indifferently, "It's all right. Go ahead."

Both older boys froze and gave him identical looks of incredulity. Hiroki said very slowly, "Tidus... you _tore_. You know what that means, don't you?"

Tidus scoffed in response. "Of course I know. Don't you think I can feel it?" And he could most definitely feel it. Searing pain shot up his spine, doubling if he moved even the slightest, his muscles burning. But that didn't matter, he'd felt worse before anyway. "It's fine."

The boys still didn't move, unsure of whether it was really all right or not. Finally the brunette blurted, "I'm gettin' blueballs here. If he says it's all right, I'm going," and thrust up hard. Hiroki then lost all of his reservations as well and the boys pounded into the blitzball player between them. Tidus leaned his head back towards the ceiling, making sure he was at an angle where they couldn't see the expression of pain or the silent tears on his face as he waited for them to finish.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Most of the group had retired to bed, but Auron was still sitting at a table in the lobby, doing his best to block out Rikku's incessant chatter, when Tidus came back, limping noticeably. Instantly he was on alert, eyes narrowing dangerously behind dark glasses. Why was the boy limping? Had that bastard hurt him? He'd chop the dark-haired boy up into a million pieces if he found out-- "You really care about him, don't you?"

The suddenly serious question from the very drunk blond girl pulled his attention away from Tidus. "Excuse me?"

"You can deny it if you want, but I know you do. I could tell earlier, the way you were after he saved that girl." She looked at him, green swirly eyes happy and calm, a small smile gracing her features. "I actually wondered at first if you were really the heartless meanie you pretended to be. But now I know that even though you act scary, you're really just like a big teddy bear."

Auron gaped. A teddy bear? "I _am not_--"

"He's still really sad, I think, about what happened earlier. You should talk to him maybe. I think it would make him feel better, y'know."

Auron rolled the idea around his head a few times before realizing the girl was gone, having slipped back to her room. His attention was drawn back to the boy at the bar, downing shots like the world would end tomorrow. He sighed heavily. Damn blond brats.

Tidus gulped another shot of... what? Whiskey? It might be whiskey, kind of tasted like it, not that he was a connoisseur of hard alcohol. He had just asked the bartender for their strongest liquor and started inhaling it, trying to get wasted enough that he couldn't think.

_"Sex isn't supposed to be a punishment, cutie."_

_"Dammit, Dennick, I don't use it as a punishment! Stop saying that!"_

_"Then stop doing it."_

_"I'm not doing anything!"_

Stupid Dennick. How dare he be right. Tidus knew he used sex for a multitude of things, pleasure, a distraction, an outlet. He had always argued with Dennick he didn't use it as a punishment, that wasn't why he let his partners hurt him so often. But tonight... tonight he'd been upset with himself, angry that he'd lost his control earlier, angry that there were bastards like that pervert in the world, and when he had the chance to be hurt in bed, he'd jumped at it. Now that he finally thought about it, he'd been doing it for quite some time. When he messed up during a blitzball match, when he lost his temper and yelled at Dennick, when he found himself thinking about Auron too much. He really was using it as a punishment. Shit, what was wrong with him? If he really wanted to hurt himself why didn't he just do something normal? He could cut himself like that guy from his old blitz team, or starve himself like that chick that always hung all over Dennick, or just hit his stupid fucking head off a wall! Why the hell was he using sex?

Tidus downed two more shots in rapid succession, gripping the glass hard under white knuckles. He just didn't want to think anymore. Sudden movement on his right made him jump, and Auron took the seat next to him, asking the bartender for a cup of sake. "What's wrong, old man, run out?"

Auron grunted. "Yes, actually." He set his now empty sake jug on the bar and, when his cup was brought to him, asked the man to fill that as well. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Tidus did another shot, face scrunching up predictably as he did so. How many had the boy had? "Something wrong?"

Tidus frowned, staring straight ahead, not really wanting to look at Auron. "Why would you say that?"

"You don't normally drink like this."

The boy shrugged as he did yet another shot. His mind was already blissfully hazy, the onslaught of hard alcohol doing its job. Just a little more and he'd be set.

"Are you still upset about earlier?"

Tidus paused, glass halfway to his lips. _Was_ he still upset about earlier? "Not as much." At least his punishment sex worked for getting rid of his guilt. Of course, since he was now upset about the sex itself, it was really just trading one problem for another.

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes. Tidus thought the conversation, at least about that issue, was done and was surprised when Auron said rather softly, "You did a good job. Really."

Tidus knew he was already wasted, but was he really so far gone he was hearing things? "'Scuse me?"

"I said--"

"I heard what you said," the boy slurred, his mouth not wanting to move the way he told it to. "I jus' wanna know why you said it. I completely lost it."

Auron nodded, shifting in his seat slightly. "Be that as it may, you saved a child from a horrible predicament. You were the only one who realized something was amiss. Besides, given the situation, a lot of people would have lost their self-restraint. It didn't hurt anyone. No one who mattered, at least." He took a large sip of sake, images of Tidus cradling the crying child coming to mind, and added almost thoughtfully, "And you more than made up for it with the way you took care of the girl. I was impressed."

Tidus stared blearily at the countertop of the bar, his drunken mind trying to process Auron's words. Maybe he was right. Maybe he really had done okay. After all, Auron had praised him for what he'd done, and praise from the stoic, red-clad man was rare. If Auron was actually going out of his way to tell him he'd done well, that he'd _impressed_ him, then he must have.

The smallest of smiles parted his lips and he flushed slightly. Auron had praised him.

The bartender returned with Auron's now full jug and said it was time for him to turn in. Tidus, spirits now lifted considerably, needlessly ordered one more shot, then enthusiastically waved goodnight to the man who chuckled almost fondly as he left. Auron watched the shot disappear, followed by the boy practically sprawling himself across the top of the bar. He raised one eyebrow ever so slightly, dreading the hangover that would come tomorrow for the boy. No doubt it would be a killer.

With a sigh, he pulled on his collar, practically sweating. After a quick look around to make sure he and Tidus were both most definitely alone in the lounge, he did something he rarely did in public and shucked off his heavy red coat, tossing it on the seat next to him before sitting again. "Why are all these inns so damn hot?"

"Yeah, it is hot in here," Tidus responded animatedly, sitting up quickly, arm flinging out in the process. In his bustle of movement, the back of his hand smacked against the cup of sake Auron had been drinking, flinging it off the bar... and right onto Auron's lap.

Tidus froze as a wave of terror rolled over him. "Shit! Auron, I'm sorry!"

Auron blinked, looking down at his wet pants in a very bored way. "It's--" Before he could even get the word "fine" out, Tidus had leapt over the bar, found a towel, and leapt back, his face inches from the man's lap. "I'm really sorry! I'll clean it up!" and he proceeded to do just that. By wiping the towel all over Auron's crotch with drunken abandon.

Auron thought his good eye was going to pop out of his head. Even though the boy didn't mean anything by it, it didn't change the fact that his hands were all over him, rubbing, creating a delicious friction. Blood rushed downward as he did all he could to quell it, grabbing one of Tidus' wrists. "Stop."

"No really, I'll clean it." The hand that wasn't in Auron's insisting grip continued on its mission. It was aided when the surface he was cleaning got slowly firmer... Firmer? Even as drunk as he was, Tidus knew an erection when he felt it. His face turned deep crimson when he realized why Auron had tried to stop him. He'd been rubbing him straight through his pants. And naturally, that would cause any guy to get excited, whether he wanted to or not.

"Tidus--"

"I'm so sorry! I didn't realize what I was doing!"

"It's-- it's all right, Tidus. Just let-- go."

The blond somehow managed to blush more when he realized his fingers had partially wrapped around the clothed erection, and he let go quickly, a guilty look on his face. "I really am sorry, Auron."

"I already said it's all right." The warrior stood stiffly, adjusting his pants slightly to accommodate the sudden extra bulk in them, a look of discomfort on his face. He mentally cursed himself for putting himself and the brat in this situation. Damn his lack of control. Why hadn't he made more of an effort to stop the boy? He didn't want to admit to himself it was because he liked it when Tidus touched him.

Tidus groaned inwardly, feeling like a complete idiot. He wanted to make up for his stupid mistake, for making Auron uncomfortable. A sudden idea flashed through his alcohol-flooded mind. "Ah, I know! I'll take care of it for you!" And he lunged at Auron's pants, unbuttoning them with practiced ease, wetting his lips to prepare them.

* * *

Heh, sorry to end it right there, but the chapter has gone on long enough. Don't worry, the next chapter will pick up right where this one left off, so if you wanna find out what happens, you'll have to come back then. On to the all-star list:

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	7. How Do You Want It?

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

I'm SO SORRY this took so long to update! I don't know what was wrong with me lately, whenever I wasn't busy I just wasn't in the mood to work on this and... blah. But here it is now, and as promised it picks up right where the last chapter left off.

Warnings: oral sex, language, violence

* * *

**Chapter 7: How Do You Want It?**

A sudden idea flashed through his alcohol-flooded mind. "Ah, I know! I'll take care of it for you!" And he lunged at Auron's pants, unbuttoning them with practiced ease, wetting his lips to prepare them.

Auron's calloused hand found his forehead, pushing the kneeling boy away frantically. "What the hell are you doing?"

Tidus blinked up at him innocently, wondering why Auron was nearly shouting at him. "I made you uncomfortable, right? So I'll fix it for you."

"Fix-- _fix it_?" Auron pushed harder, wondering why the boy wasn't budging. "What in Yevon's name are you talking about?"

Tidus looked up again, except this time the look suggested that Auron might just be stupid. "I'll give you a blowjob of course. Don't worry, you don't have to do anything."

Auron stared in a mixture of horror and elation as Tidus pulled his zipper down, hand gripping his hard-on through nothing but the thin layer of his underwear. His mind was screaming at him to stop the boy, he was drunk, he didn't know what he was doing. But this was his ultimate fantasy come true, how could he possibly stop it? In a half-assed attempt at control, he took a few steps backwards, only to have his back hit the wall. Before he could even blink, Tidus had closed the distance between them again, trapping him where he was, pulling down the hem of his boxers.

"Tidus..."

This wasn't right, Tidus was his charge, he was supposed to be like his son. True, he'd never thought of the boy as a son really, but still, that didn't make this okay.

The blond paused, sensing something was wrong, and smiled up at the older man as if to calm him. "It's okay, Auron, I'm really good at this. If you're worried about me being a guy, just shut your eyes. It won't feel any different than a girl."

Shut his eyes? Why in all of Spira would he want to shut his eyes when the most gorgeous person imaginable was the one kneeling before him? "I don't care that you're a man."

Tidus smirked slightly, yanking Auron's underwear down to free his straining erection. "Good." He took the man's broad member into his hand, stroking his fingers lightly over the surface, staring at it like a child who'd just unwrapped an amazing present Christmas morning. He might have been wasted, but he still registered that this was Auron's cock in his hand. _Auron's_. The amazing legendary guardian Sir Auron, the object of his lust and affection for well over a year. And it was just as magnificent as he'd always imagined. Pale, taut skin pulled tight over ten to eleven inches of thick hardness, coming to a beautiful rosy hue at the head, topped off with the smallest dot of precum leaking out of the slit. Tidus licked his lips again, taking it in with appreciation, not about to let this chance escape him.

Auron shifted slightly, feeling very self-conscious for the first time... well, ever. Never before had anyone scrutinized any part of him like this before, let alone _that_ part of him. He suddenly wished he could cover himself and hide from the boy's prying eyes. Why was he staring like that?

Tidus leaned in even closer so he was nearly touching the perfection in front of him. "You're huge," he whispered, his breath ghosting the member, making it twitch in response. Unable to resist any longer, he pressed a soft kiss to the head, tasting the salty precum as it hit his lips, and he smiled when he heard Auron's breath hitch ever so slightly at the action. Pulling back and licking all of the briny substance from his mouth, he asked seductively, "How do you want it?"

"Wh-what?" Shit, had he just _stuttered_?

"Everyone likes it a different way," Tidus continued, running his index finger lightly down the center of the shaft. "Some guys like it slow, some like it fast, some want it to start out slow then get fast. Some like a lot of tongue, some like some teeth, some have tried to strangle me when I grazed my teeth. And most importantly, some like to be in control while some want me to control it." Blue eyes looked up at Auron from under blond bangs, and a tongue seductively swirled around the head of his cock. "How do you like it?"

Auron's mouth felt dry, and it wouldn't have surprised him if his heart had hammered a hole straight through his chest. "That... I... You just... do it however you want."

Tidus' eyebrows raised ever so slightly, and he looked almost amused. "Really? You want me to control it? I would have thought... well, that's not important. Just relax, I'll take care of it."

He licked slowly down the length of the shaft then back up, flicking his tongue over the slit and sucking lightly on the tip before taking more, a little at a time, gaging Auron's reactions. He would figure out himself how the warrior liked it, because he was determined to give him the best head of his life. Anything short was unacceptable.

Auron watched himself disappear inch by inch into Tidus' very hot, wet mouth and bit back a groan, praying to any gods that existed he wasn't just dreaming. He gently raked his fingers through the mop of blond locks, pushing them away from his face and resting his hand on top of the boy's head. Tidus glanced up then, humming his appreciation of the act, and making Auron twitch under the vibrations. "Tidus."

The blond reveled in hearing Auron say his name that way, his deep voice husky and filled with lust, thinking he could now die happy. He took the shaft as far as it went until the head hit the back of his throat, pausing just a moment for effect, and then swallowing, taking in the rest of the length, burying his nose in dark curls. The fingers in his hair tightened spastically and Auron's breath became mildly uneven. _Yevon, he wasn't lying. He really is good at this._

Tidus brought his mouth back up slowly, torturously, before repeating the action several more times. He knew Auron was enjoying it immensely, could feel it, but something was missing. Something... the older man hadn't hit that pinnacle of enjoyment yet, and Tidus wanted him to, wanted him to be in absolute bliss before coming to orgasm. Pulling his mouth away from Auron's erection, he sucked lightly at the man's balls, mumbling around them, "Whatta you want me to do, Auron?"

"You're doing fine."

The man gasped slightly when the boy nipped at very sensitive skin before replying cockily, "Of course I'm doing fine. I asked what you _wanted_."

There was a long pause as Auron considered how to answer him, fingers tightening further in golden hair, deciding it was best not to let things escalate past where they already were. "Tidus, I don't--"

"You want it rougher, right? And you wanna be the one in control."

Auron's mouth snapped abruptly shut. Was he really that easy to read? "Tidus--"

"If that's what you want, what are you waiting for?"

"Tidus, I don't think--" Another nip, this one a bit harder than the first, shut him up again. He peered down at the blond who he was surprised to see looked almost... insulted. What had he done to upset the brat?

"I'll say it again, Auron, I'm good at this, and I know what I'm doing. I'm also not made of fucking glass, so if there's something you want, please, take it."

Ah, that was the problem. Damn brat. Auron smirked when he realized Tidus was actually pouting, the same way he had as a child when he didn't get what he wanted. He really wanted Auron to do as he pleased, fine. He wouldn't hold back anymore. Pulling the blond locks harshly so Tidus was looking up at him, Auron said, "I didn't think you were incapable. I apologize for the misunderstanding," and roughly thrust himself forcefully into the brat's mouth.

As soon as Tidus felt the head hit the back of his throat, he swallowed, taking the full length and sucking harshly before his head was forcibly pulled back again. Auron started thrusting at a steady rhythm, carefully controlling his speed and grip on the boy's head so as not to hurt him. Tidus was swallowing and sucking exactly when he should, his tongue teasing the shaft even when his mouth was very full. Incapable was the last thing he was, that was for certain.

Tidus would have smiled if his mouth hadn't been so busy. This was what he'd been aiming for. This was the height of Auron's pleasure, his peak of satisfaction, the way he liked it best. This was Auron letting go of all his reservations and just enjoying himself for once. Nothing could have made the blond happier than this.

Judging Auron to be the kind who would like it, he mischievously let his teeth scrape ever so delicately against the hardness as it slid back and forth over his tongue. The result was an immediate growl from the man above him, but not a warning growl. Quite the opposite, it was the kind of growl that encouraged the boy further, and as the end of the cock slid to his lips, he lightly and deftly bit the head, causing the man to falter in his pace momentarily and utter a guttural sound somewhere between a growl and a moan. Inside his mind, Tidus chuckled. He never thought he'd actually get the chance to be the one who made his imperturbable former guardian come undone.

Auron's thrusts sped up a bit as he got slowly closer to his end. A fine sheen of sweat formed on his brow as his breathing got shallower. This was amazing. He'd always wanted to be able to fuck someone's throat like this, and while some high-class prostitutes in Zanarkand had come close, no one had ever been able to accommodate him the way Tidus was. If he tried, he'd always end up choking his partner or something of the like, in which case he'd immediately stop, feeling guilty and unable to continue. But now, the boy was accepting him so easily, taking his full length like it was nothing.

He looked down at the boy, entranced by the sight. His cock, sliding in between the boy's perfect, pink lips. The gorgeous tan face, twisted ever so slightly with eyes screwed shut tight, a drop of moisture at the corner of each. And then the eyes slowly opened, looking back at him. He stared into those impossibly blue orbs, felt like he was drowning in them, and lost himself. With one last thrust and a particularly harsh grunt he came hard down the boy's throat, practically suffocating him.

Choking a bit for the first time that night, Tidus swallowed as much of Auron's seed as he could, the rest dribbling down his chin when he coughed. He normally would have swallowed it all cleanly and blamed his mistake on the fact that the alcohol from earlier had him practically seeing double. Oh well, he wasn't perfect. Besides, he hadn't messed up the actual act itself, just the aftermath. He could live with that.

A gloved hand gently cupped the side of his face, and the towel he had used earlier to clean Auron's pants was wiping away any excess semen and saliva. He blinked dazedly at the man crouching down next to him, wondering when he had moved. Hadn't he been standing with his pants undone a second ago? And why was he swaying? Or was it Tidus himself who was swaying? He groaned. "Auron, I think I'm drunk."

A soft chuckle was followed by a rumbling, "I think you are too," and everything spun violently as he was lifted off the ground. He clutched desperately at the older man's shoulder, terrified he would fall, causing another chuckle from the red-clad man. Red? When had he put his coat back on? Tidus found he didn't really care at the moment and rested his head against Auron's chest, listening to his heartbeat as he was carried back to the room.

He welcomed the feel of soft sheets and a comfortable mattress, sighing contentedly as soon as his head hit the pillow. Everything was spinning a little, but not so much he would get sick or be kept awake. Fingers raked through his hair, pushing it off his damp forehead, and he was mildly surprised when they continued petting him. Was Auron drunk too? He must be. He peeked over at the man sitting next to him in the bed, trying to make out his face in the dark. "Auron..."

A sudden shiver racked his body, and he shut his eyes, willing it away. Shit, maybe he would be sick. _Why_ had he forced himself to drink so much?

"Strenuous activity after heavy drinking is never a wise choice," Auron said softly, pulling the covers up to Tidus' chin. "You should sleep."

Sleep? Yeah, sleep sounded good. No, sleep sounded great. But first... "Auron, it was good... right? You liked it?"

Tidus felt the mattress shift and Auron's warmth descended upon him. Lips brushed his cheek in the softest of kisses and Auron murmured in his ear, "Of course I did. Now sleep." And he did just that, a small smile on his face, not knowing that Auron was smiling too as he watched him drift away. He was beautiful.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Tidus and Auron were alone in their room, getting ready to join the others. "Auron, I have something to tell you."

The legendary warrior turned his usual slightly bored gaze to the blond, grunting for him to continue.

"I..." He averted his eyes to the floor, unable to look at the man in front of him. "For a while now, I've really liked you. I mean, I think I love you. I wasn't going to say anything, but after last night... Well, I wanted you to know, last night wasn't a drunken mistake for me. I didn't regret it. And I guess I... I guess I kinda hoped maybe you feel the same way too." He took a deep breath and smiled a little to himself. There, it was out in the open, no going back now.

But one look at Auron's face and he wished he could go back. The sneer that curled his lips, the anger in his good eye... why? All he had to do was say he didn't feel the same, Tidus would never mention it again. Why did he have to look like that?

The blond took a step back as the older man took a menacing step forward. "You _like_ me, brat? You expect me to have feelings for _you_?"

Tidus' back hit the wall, and he looked around wildly for a means of escape. True terror was coiling in the pit of his stomach, slowly making its way throughout him. This wasn't right. This was too much like...

"You lied to me."

When he looked up, he couldn't tell what he was seeing. "Pell?" But, no, Auron was there too. It was as if Auron and Pell were occupying the same space at the same time, both glaring at him, both approaching him with killer intent. No, this wasn't right.

Hands encircled his neck, choking him, and he couldn't tell whether they were the large, calloused hands of Auron or the smaller but still strong hands of Pell. He clawed at the hands, trying to pry them off, but they wouldn't budge. He couldn't breathe. Everything felt doubled. He didn't know if he was fourteen on his back in an alley or seventeen pressed against the wall of the inn.

"Fucking faggot! I'll show you what happens when you lie to me!"

The hands stopped choking and moved elsewhere. He struggled desperately. Then pain. Tears. Blood. So much pain.

And then Pell was gone, and it was only Auron again, but the pain still stayed. He leaned close to Tidus' ear, whispering harshly, "You expect me to have feelings for you? Why, because you gave me head like a slut?" He chuckled, but it wasn't his normal good-natured rumble. It was softer, sadistic. It was Vin's chuckle, it was the pervert in the woods' chuckle. "Stupid boy. Don't you realize you're just another whore to me? How dare you think I would ever lower myself to you."

No! Why was this happening again? Stop. Please, make it stop. Auron, it hurts... please... Auron.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Tidus sat up in bed, gasping desperately for much needed air, his heart rate well above normal. He looked around frantically, trying to take in his surroundings, fists clenched hard in sweaty sheets. A dream. It had just been a dream, he was at the inn, in bed, perfectly fine and unharmed. Auron wasn't even in the room, let alone angry and attacking him. Everything was fine.

That fact, of course, didn't stop the tears from gathering at the corners of his eyes and making slow trails down his tanned face. He knew what happened in dreams wasn't real, normally wasn't even close to real. But that dream had certainly _felt_ real. Very real. Hell, part of it _had_ been real. It had been a vivid mix of flashbacks from 'the mistake' and... and his biggest fear. His fear of 'the mistake' repeating itself.

Furthermore, he knew why he'd had that specific dream, knew why his subconscious had deemed it necessary. In his drunken stupidity last night he'd actually contemplated telling the man of his affections how he felt. He'd come dangerously close to ruining everything and telling Auron he loved him. Luckily, he'd been so wasted he'd passed out almost immediately after the blowjob, never giving him the chance. He didn't even mind the excruciating pain in his skull right now, deciding it was worth it and thanking its source profusely over and over.

He shivered, imagining what would have happened, or still could happen for that matter, if he ever confessed. He doubted it would physically be the same as in his dream, knowing that Auron and Pell wouldn't use the same methods for revenge, but the words Auron had said to him... those seemed plausible enough. How had his mind managed to trick him last night into thinking Auron might actually reciprocate his feelings? He had drunkenly jumped another man, who was also drunk, given him a blowjob, and thought that because the other man hadn't stopped him he must like him? What the hell could he possibly have been thinking?

Well it didn't matter now. He just had to play it off like it was nothing, just something he did on a regular basis when he drank. Which wasn't entirely untrue, but still... this had meant something _more_... at least to him. He knew Auron didn't feel that way, so he had to pretend. He wasn't going to let go of what he did have with the older man. He didn't know what he would do if Auron ever hated him...

The door opened, and the object of his musings entered, pausing momentarily when he saw the blond sitting up. "You're awake."

Tidus nodded, not trusting himself to speak just yet. He had to make sure he was completely calm and in control before saying a word. He couldn't mess this up.

A gloved hand was suddenly on his face, and he flinched slightly, the dream still uncomfortably fresh in his mind. When he realized Auron was wiping tear tracks off his cheeks, he blushed red and gently pushed the bigger man's hand away. "I'm fine, just had a nightmare. Caught me off guard."

Auron grunted, stepping back to sit on the end of the bed while Tidus made his way slowly to the bathroom, body aching. It seemed like every part of him, every cell in his being, was in pain. He was extremely sore from the rather violent sexual encounter from the night before and had a hangover on top of that, making already painful muscles ache further and adding a pounding headache. One look in the mirror and he saw how pale he was, how disheveled he looked. Opting for a shower, he grimaced as he watched the semen and blood from the previous night wash away and down the drain. He really needed to find a better way to deal with his frustrations.

Exiting the bathroom, lazily toweling off his soaked hair, he took note of Auron watching him closely from his seat still on the bed. Willing himself to stay calm, he casually asked, "So we're gonna get to that Guado-place today, right?"

A grunt. "Guadosalam, yes."

"Cool... When are we leaving?"

"I would imagine as soon as you're done; seeing as everyone else has been up for hours already."

Tidus' eyes widened substantially at that and he mentally cursed. He was holding everybody up? "Why the hell didn't anyone wake me up?" He flung the towel on the bed and rushed for his boots, trying to get them on too quickly and nearly falling flat on his face. As he hastily tied the laces and stood, he bumped into Auron, who immediately attacked his head with his discarded towel. "Ow, Auron!"

"You never did dry your hair properly."

"Auron, I'm not a little kid!"

"Then you should learn to take better care of yourself."

Tidus pouted. "We don't have time for this anyway. Everyone's waiting on me!"

"Calm down." The towel was finally removed, and Tidus could see the man in front of him peering at him over dark glasses. "It was decided by everyone to let you sleep in. We'll still reach Guadosalam with plenty of time to spare before dark."

The boy's brow furrowed, trying to figure this out. "Let me... why?"

"We felt you earned it."

"Earned...? What?"

"For yesterday."

Yesterday. Oh, the girl, of course. Were they still on about that? "You really didn't need to."

Auron just shrugged and turned to go, stopping when Tidus' hand shot out and grabbed his sleeve. He blinked down at the boy, surprised, and watched as the blond chewed his bottom lip mercilessly. Something had him very anxious, and Auron didn't need three guesses to figure out what.

"Since we're here and the others will wait another minute..." The lip between his teeth started to bleed. "I wanted to apologize... y'know, for last night." He dared a quick glance up at the older man, but his face was impassive and he remained silent. "It... I shouldn't have jumped you like that. I mean, you were drunk and I... Anyway, I'm sorry. It was inappropriate. I'm just so used to it, that's all, so when I accidentally got you hard I reverted to old habits." A nervous laugh escaped him, and he felt himself shake slightly. "Ah, not that I minded, please don't think that's what I'm saying. It was fun. I'm just saying if you wanna forget anything ever happened, that's fine with me. I won't ever bring it up again." He forced a smile but at the same time couldn't look at his former guardian. He knew if he did he'd start to cry, partially from fear brought on by the dream and partially because it hurt to say those words. It hurt a lot more than he'd expected.

He felt a little better when Auron, face as expressionless as ever, said in his normal detached voice, "No need to apologize. It was unexpected, but I enjoyed myself. It was just a simple act of sex, nothing more. It's nothing to get worked up about, and there's no reason to pretend it never happened."

Tidus was surprised you couldn't hear his heart breaking. _"It was just a simple act of sex, nothing more."_ He'd been prepared for the words, but nothing could compare to actually hearing them.

He forced another laugh, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably. "Okay then, good. Glad to see you're not really such a stiff." He clapped the older man on the arm amicably and said, "C'mon then, the others are waitin' on us," before hurtling out the door to the lobby and scooping Yuna up in a playful hug. Auron wasn't angry, he wasn't disgusted, everything was fine then, right? He viewed the whole thing exactly as Tidus had hoped he would, a meaningless blowjob from a drunk whore. That was what Tidus had wanted, right? It wasn't like he had ever expected anything to come out of it. He knew this would happen. So then... why did his chest hurt so much?

* * *

I find myself wanting to smack Tidus, and I'm the one who wrote him like this. Oh well, he's traumetized by the past, you'll see that more in depth later, so please don't get too frustrated with him. He's not very bright.

And I'm still angry at my dream sequence. It was supposed to be really vague but... I don't know, no matter what I did I wasn't happy with it. Oh well, I didn't have the energy to fight with it anymore.

Oh, and next chapter we get to see what Auron's actually thinking during this.

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	8. The Greatest Emotion

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

And I find myself yet again apologizing for taking so long. I'm a horrible person, I know. I swear, I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Until then enjoy!

Warnings: language

* * *

**Chapter 8: The Greatest Emotion**

This day couldn't possibly get any worse. That's what Auron decided as he sat dejectedly outside the farplane with an unusually quiet Al Bhed. The day really couldn't get any worse.

First, just when he'd been contemplating on how to best express his feelings to a certain blond male, he was rejected. He really didn't even want to think about that right now.

Then they get to Guadosalam and that damn creepy Seymour asks Yuna to marry him. Fucking bastard, sprouting off nonsense about how it would make the people of Spira happy. Yuna had a job to do, she didn't need these kind of distractions. The girl may have been stronger than she appeared, but she was still rather sensitive about certain things; and she was overly eager to take care of everyone. Seymour was practically guilting her into accepting his proposal, and quite frankly, that was not okay. Even if he hadn't been her guardian right now, Auron still would have been pissed simply because she was Braska's daughter. How dare anyone do anything to harm his deceased best friend's daughter.

Of course, when he attempts to tell said maester off, Seymour makes it known that he's well aware Auron's unsent. Oh and what a cute little remark that had been about the scent of the farplane. Tidus, in one of his less intelligent moments, had actually sniffed him, one of the few times he found annoyance with the boy. Well, he had been annoyed with the boy since that morning, if he wanted to be honest with himself. And he was right back to what he didn't want to think about.

Rejection. He didn't know what he'd been expecting to happen after the previous night, but when Tidus had awkwardly spouted out his apology that morning, it felt like someone was twisting a knife in his heart. He'd actually been surprised by how upset he'd gotten, not that he'd shown it of course. After all, it wasn't Tidus' fault he felt nothing for Auron. And really, there was a nice long list of why Auron shouldn't feel anything for Tidus. He had been his sole caretaker for nearly ten years, he was eighteen years older than the boy, he was an emotionally closed-off, cold bastard, and he was unsent. That only topped the list. Not to mention the fact that the boy was just that, a boy. He was growing fast, but in the end he was still technically a child, still not fully grown. What kind of creepy old man took advantage of a child? Well, him apparently, after he'd let a drunk seventeen year old suck him off.

He picked apart the boy's apology for at least the tenth time that day. From what Tidus had said, he could only imagine the boy thought _he _had been drunk as well. That was laughable, Auron hadn't been drunk in years, not since he'd died in fact. Maybe unsent couldn't get drunk? He didn't really know, but he'd been completely sober the whole time. If Tidus thought he'd been drunk though, perhaps it was best to leave it that way. He didn't want to scare the boy or make their relationship any more awkward than it currently was. Tidus might not have minded the sexual act when he thought Auron had been intoxicated, but he might change his tune if he realized he was the only one not thinking clearly.

With a sigh, he grabbed a tight handful of hair and shut his eyes. He didn't want to act like nothing happened, dammit! He had thought he was finally getting somewhere!

Doing his best to push thoughts of Tidus from his mind and focus on other concerning issues at hand, he glared over at the silent blond girl next to him. "You're not talking."

Rikku jumped at being suddenly addressed by the quiet older man and forced a small smile at the bland, obvious statement. "Heh, guess not."

"Why?"

The girl chewed her lip thoughtfully, not sure how exactly to answer without sounding whiny or childish. "Just tired, I guess." Why did Auron suddenly care anything about her, let alone the fact that she wasn't talking? He normally told her to shut up.

The man gave her a piercing stare over the top of his glasses, taking in her appearance carefully. "You're worried about Yuna. Don't be. Nothing will happen to her."

"Yeah, but--"

"You're a guardian. Just do your best to protect her."

The blond narrowed her spiral eyes slightly and ground out somewhat angrily, "And what if I can't?" She was expecting him to maybe laugh at her fears, maybe scold her for being unable to her job properly. She was not expecting the hand on her shoulder, no matter how brief the contact was.

"You're not alone. If you fail, the rest of us will be there to back you up. Nothing will happen to Yuna."

The girl's mouth was wide open as she stared down the man in front of her. Had he just attempted to comfort her? Him? Stick in the mud, meanie Sir Auron? And furthermore, had it actually worked? Apparently, because along with shock she found herself feeling quite a bit lighter after hearing his words. Of course she wasn't alone. As long as she did her best, the others would be there to help where she failed. A huge weight lifted off her chest, and she flashed her usual smile at the red-clad guardian. "Thanks, Auron."

A grunt. After several minutes she tentatively said, "Hey... Auron? Wanna tell me what's wrong with you now?"

Auron blinked before very slowly looking over at her, good eye carefully concealed behind dark glass. "Excuse me?"

"Well, you seem upset. And you helped me when I was upset, so it's only right I return the favor, y'know?"

He stared at her, not sure whether to be amused or annoyed. He looked upset? He thought he looked fairly detached, how did the brat figure out he was upset? Oh well, no use denying it, she'd pester him about it all the way to Zanarkand. Besides, what harm could it do? Certainly no more than he'd already done. "Ever been attracted to someone, Rikku?"

The girl's eyes widened and she did a double-take at the question. This was not where she'd been expecting this conversation to go. "Yeah, of course."

"Ever think you were in love with someone?"

Love? Auron was talking about love? To her? Was he sick? No, better not to think like that, she should just answer his questions while she had him talking. It's not like he did this often, she'd probably never get another chance. "I... I've had, like, a crush on people, y'know? But I don't think I've ever actually _loved_ someone. Not yet, at least."

A grunt and a slight nod of the head. "You're young. It will happen."

He didn't say anything more, and Rikku worried she'd lost him. Clearing her throat harshly, she hesitantly asked, "Are you in love with someone?"

She watched his brow furrow and his hands clench tightly into fists as he pondered her question very seriously. For a long time he was still, thinking, before barely whispering in the most dejected voice Rikku had ever heard, "Unfortunately."

Rikku didn't know what shocked her more, the fact that Auron was in love or the fact that he'd just shown actual human emotion so openly. Either way, though, she found his answer puzzling, to say the least. "I don't understand. Love's a happy thing, right? Why is it unfortunate?"

Auron looked away and debated not answering her, but for Yevon only knows what reason, he felt compelled to explain himself. "It's unfortunate when you love someone you shouldn't." He was taken aback when his statement was met by a scoff, and when he looked over at her was surprised to see how annoyed she looked. What had he done now for her to make that face?

Frowning, Rikku stared intently at her shoes while she practically spat, "I've heard that before. Adults always say stupid _lnyb_ like that. I still don't understand." (crap)

Auron frowned right back, not liking her reaction. "Sometimes the circumstances just aren't right. The wrong time or place..." He looked away almost bitterly, going over all the reasons loving Tidus was wrong again in his mind. "The wrong everything."

Rikku's nose twitched, and the irritation refused to leave her features. "That sounds like a nice excuse, I guess."

A lesser person would have backed down in face of the glare Auron sent her way. Rikku stood firm and matched it with one of her own. She may be small, but she could be intimidating too. "What, tall, dark, and scary, got something to say to that? It _is _an excuse, even your old, meanie self should realize that."

He growled. "Rikku, I--"

"_Xiead!_ I'm not finished yelling at you yet." (Quiet!)

Auron found himself actually closing his mouth and staring at her, more surprised by her forceful tone than anything. Very few had the guts to take that tone with him. He watched her reposition herself and take a deep breath before continuing.

"I might be a stupid kid to you, and I know I've never been in love that way. But my mom always used to tell me that love was the greatest emotion of all. That it defeated anger and sadness and went beyond normal happiness. If it's so powerful, what does it matter the 'circumstances'? They might get in the way, but love's supposed to be strong enough to push it all aside. So it shouldn't matter who it is, as long as you really love them. And if all that bad stuff matters so much to you, then maybe you don't really love them after all."

Once she was done, Auron tried, quite desperately, to come up with some kind of smart answer and save face. He was unsuccessful, and it pissed him off. He had just been put in his place by a fifteen year old girl. Great. Even better was that said girl was pouting badly now, arms crossed over her chest defiantly, cheerful eyes uncharacteristically hard. Apparently she was mad at him. Add that to the list of why this day couldn't get any worse. He'd managed to make one of the most lovable people he'd ever met, truly mad at him. He was on a roll.

As he contemplated how to get the the little blond back on his good side, wondering if it was truly worth the effort, the others emerged from the farplane, Yuna with a rather determined air about her. Apparently she'd come to a decision about Seymour, one he hoped was negative for the half-Guado if for no other reason than he just didn't like the bastard. And then another wonderful thing decided to happen on this greatest of days. Lord Jyscal came staggering out of the farplane in all his dead glory, groaning with the pain of the action. Auron was just as shocked as everyone else, but at least he had the sense to tell Yuna to send the man. Boy was that a mistake.

The pain was incredible the second Yuna started the sending. At least it was if you were unsent and trying desperately to cling to a world you didn't belong in. He was beyond thankful he wasn't closer to the summoner as he doubled over, clutching his middle where it hurt the most. He tried to stay standing and failed, his legs giving out beneath him. On his knees he groaned softly, his forehead coming rest against the cool stone stairs beneath him. Just a little longer. He just had to hold on a little longer...

Sure enough the pain subsided slowly and he was able to lift his head again, breathing harshly, sweat pouring down his face. He felt small hands grab at his shoulders and tug insistently on his coat. He couldn't figure out what was going on until a small voice hissed in his ear, "Come on! Get up before they see you! Quick!"

Instantly, he forced himself to his feet, leaning on the small girl for support. "We leave. Now!" he called up to the others in his authoritative voice, wrapping his arm around Rikku and making it look like he was dragging her off rather than using her as a crutch. "Thank you," he said softly to her, and she just patted his arm in a comforting manner. "Don't worry, Mr. meanie, I'm still mad at you."

While Yuna went off to find Seymour, Auron took the time to sit and regain his lost energy. Rikku stayed by him, clearly wanting to talk about what had happened but prevented from doing so by Wakka and Kimahri's nearby presence. So instead she chatted on and on about the most mundane things possible, watching Auron carefully the whole time as if afraid he'd collapse again. Auron actually found himself soothed slightly by the normalcy of her constant ramblings and had a feeling she wasn't really still mad at him. Of course, he wasn't particularly fond of her both worried and increasingly curious gaze, so he let his own wander, finally landing on Tidus having a conversation with Lulu aways off. Before he knew it, he was staring at the blond, a rather serene look taking over his features. Rikku's voice never faltered, but her sharp eyes didn't miss a thing, her mind already working overtime and putting the pieces together.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Auron felt he'd finally redeemed himself in Rikku's eyes, if she had even still been mad at him (which he didn't really believe). Since she'd been so terrified of the Thunder Plains, he'd allowed them to stop and rest for a while, saying her whining was worse than the storm and he couldn't take it. In reality, it was his small way of showing he was grateful for her help at the farplane, and he hoped she realized this. He suddenly wished she was still angry with him, though, when she sidled up to him in the lobby, green eyes sparkling mischievously. "Auron?"

A grunt.

"Why didn't you tell us you were unsent?"

So much for any hopes of subtlety or prayers that the girl was too stupid to figure out what had happened back there. Rikku was neither subtle nor stupid. Nor quiet, as she'd asked the question a bit too loudly for his comfort. With a frown, he quickly glanced around, making sure no one was in earshot of them before relaxing. He'd just said himself the girl wasn't stupid, and she'd refrained before from asking him when others were around. She wouldn't go blurting it out now.

"Auron?"

A sigh. "For a large number of reasons, many of which I'm sure you can figure out yourself."

She blinked at him, pondering, before nodding slowly. "Okay."

Auron stared at her, shocked. That was it? Okay? She was going to let it drop at that? Why would she suddenly--

"Is that why you think it's not okay for you to love Tidus?"

"Hm? Well, that's one reason, but--" He froze, and if he'd still had a normal working heart, it would have stopped beating right about then. Had she just successfully tricked him? "Rikku--"

"Oh, don't worry, I don't care. About either thing. I'm Al Bhed, remember? But I am kinda surprised you love... well, y'know... a guy. Doesn't that go against Yevon? Or is that a reason too?"

Auron shook his head slowly. "I've learned there are many things about Yevon I no longer agree with."

Rikku blinked before giggling hysterically. "A gay monk of Yevon. That's great."

Gay monk? That wasn't true. He hadn't been a monk in a long time, and he wasn't really gay, not like Tidus; in fact, he generally preferred women. He clenched his teeth slightly and fingered the hilt of Marasame lovingly, contemplating how guilty he'd feel and how upset the others would be if he killed the girl now. He didn't think he'd get away with it. "Rikku, I do not wish to discuss this."

"How come?"

"Because it is a personal matter, and I see no reason to share it with the likes of an annoying child!"

She huffed, pointedly looking away. "Geez, you don't have to be so mean about it. I was just tryin' to help, y'know?" She exhaled sharply, crossing her arms over her chest. "Not that you deserve it. You don't even love him enough to tell him."

Yes, killing her was looking more and more appealing. "Rikku--"

"And I thought the great legendary guardian Sir Auron was some big, tough man. Here he's acting like a scared little girl."

Auron stiffened, his glare deadly. Had the child really just called _him_ a little girl? She _was_ a little girl!

"After all, a real man would go after what he wanted."

The glare somehow managed to sharpen. "You're not going to go away, are you?"

"No, I'm fine right where I am."

A grunt. Such a wonderful day.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Tidus sat in the lobby of the small inn, chewing his lip mercilessly. He was worried. Something was wrong with Yuna, his precious, delicate flower, and he wasn't allowed to help her. He'd tried to follow her when she retreated to a room, but Wakka had stopped him. Said she needed some time alone. Bull shit, what she needed was someone there, someone who cared about and supported her. Someone who would let her know she wasn't alone no matter what. Someone who didn't think it was all right for her to marry some creep she didn't love just to make others happy.

Okay, so maybe he was still mad at the other guardians for that too. With the exception of Rikku, the others hadn't even appeared to care whether or not she married Seymour. And it wasn't just the love thing that bothered him. Maybe if she had really seemed okay with the idea of getting hitched, he could have condoned it, but she wasn't okay. The whole thing made her uncomfortable. Why didn't anyone else see she was fucking uncomfortable?

He breathed deeply, forcing himself to calm down. There was no reason to be so upset, she was going to decline Seymour's offer after all. Of course he was pissed the Guado were already telling people the wedding was on. Was that what was upsetting Yuna? Or maybe it was that weird thing with that Jyscal guy coming out of the farplane as a zombie. She had seemed to get more upset after that happened. Maybe it had really bothered her. Naturally, he would love to ask her and then attempt to make her feel better, except for one little thing. Wakka wouldn't fucking let him go back to her room!

At least one good thing came from all this. Between getting to Guadosalam, wanting to kill that Seymour bastard, seeing the farplane and his mother, having a revelation about his father, and then finally worrying his ass off over Yuna, Tidus had been able to forget about Auron and the pain he caused in his chest for the time being. Though at the moment, he felt he'd rather fret over Auron than fret over Yuna. He didn't like it when he was worried about his angel.

"Hey there."

A deep, sultry voice with a rather distinct accent caught his attention. He looked up at the Al Bhed man standing over him and forced a smile. "Hullo."

"Sorry to just come over like this, but I saw you sitting here and you seemed upset. I was thinking that a frown did not belong on such a gorgeous face."

What was that? Oh, he was being hit on, okay. Cool. The pickup line was cheesy, but whatever, that wasn't important. What was important was that standing in front of him was the perfect way to forget all of his worries. Thank you, Yevon.

He took a moment to examine the man. Al Bhed obviously, which explained the accent, older than most of the people Tidus slept with, around thirty or so, decent shape, dark tanned skin... yeah, what the hell, he was pretty good looking. A round or two would be fun. "You got a room here?"

The man chuckled, delighted at his bluntness, and beckoned for Tidus to follow him.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Auron had retreated to the peaceful lull he tended to go into when Rikku insisted on talking to him and he had no desire to participate. He wasn't annoyed with her anymore, seeing as how she'd gotten off the topic of his unrequited love with a teenage boy and was now chattering about her hair or something of the like. As far as he was concerned she could yap all day if it made her happy. That was until she broke his tranquil state with the question, "So you're really not gonna make a move, huh?"

Okay, enough was enough. He had to nip this in the bud now before things got out of hand. "Rikku, I swear on all that is holy, if you do not let this subject drop--"

"Okay, okay, calm down! I just wanted to be sure you didn't mind when he slept with other people, that's all."

Auron snorted derisively at that. "Why, you planning on trying something?"

She laughed, genuinely amused at the fact that Auron could make a joke occasionally. Maybe that stick wasn't quite as far up his ass as she thought. "Only if I wanted to scare him... I just wanted to make sure of where you stood with him. Otherwise it would really suck how he just went back to a room with some guy, y'know?"

"What are you..." Auron quickly looked across the lobby to where Tidus was sitting, only to find him gone. With a growl of annoyance, he strode down the hall to the inn's rooms, the intent to kill rolling off him in waves.

Rikku just smirked. _"Duu ayco."_ (Too easy.)

* * *

I really enjoy the whole aspect of Aurikku, whether it's romantic or not (obviously not in this case), so sorry but I can't write FFX without it. Actually, I really just like Rikku's character in general, which is why she's been popping up so much. Yuna is going to be making somewhat more of an appearance as well in the near future. And I changed last chapter's title, I like it better now... Anyway, my all-star list:

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Thank you so much, your reviews so far have made me really happy. Shironami actually complimented my OC. **Someone complimented my OC!** I just about went into shock. But thank you everyone, reviews encourage more writing, so keep it up!


	9. Spheres, Chances, and a Hint of Insanity

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Woohoo, finally done with chapter 9. Yes, I know it took forever. I've already got a head start on chapter 10 though so it shouldn't take as long this time... and now since I just said that I've probably jinxed myself. Oh well, I'll try...

Warnings: language, sexual content, and a very confused Tidus

* * *

**Chapter 9: Spheres, Chances, and a Hint of Insanity**

The second Tidus had entered the room, the Al Bhed man had shut the door and pinned him to the wall, clearly eager to get things started. Tidus was only surprised for a moment before the thought, _He's a really good kisser,_ crossed his mind and nothing else seemed to matter. Until the thought truly hit him, and he realized what was happening. This man was kissing him. _Kissing _him. Instantly, his hands shot out to the man's broad chest, pushing him away. The Al Bhed obliged, looking confused and a bit worried. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," Tidus assured him with a smile. "Just... no kissing. You can do anything else you want to me, I'll do anything you want to you... but no kissing."

The man gave him a knowing grin. "I understand. Too personal."

Tidus could only nod. He'd imposed this rule right after he started sleeping with anyone who asked him. He wasn't much of a romantic, but he wanted something to be special if he ever managed to get the person he truly loved. It certainly wasn't going to be sex itself, and kissing did seem to have some sort of sentimental value. So after making his decision the only person he ever kissed was Dennick. That was it, and that was okay because in a way he had loved Dennick, very much; so it was still special. Occasionally people would manage to steal a kiss before he could stop them, like the Al Bhed and like Hiroki had not long ago, but that was rare and a mistake on his part for not telling them right away, not their fault. The last person who had insisted on trying to stick their tongue down his throat even after he told them no ended up with a knee to the groin and a broken nose. Tidus may have been a whore, but he still wanted some act of intimacy to remain sacred.

The older man thoughtfully ignored his whole face after that and instead began attacking his neck. Tidus gasped under the skillful, nipping teeth and ran his fingers enticingly through short, blond locks. His other hand slipped up the man's shirt, exploring the flat, hard muscled plain of his stomach and chest. The man groaned slightly under his touch and latched onto the spot just below Tidus' ear; his happy spot.

Tidus jerked slightly at the first contact and then couldn't suppress a moan, instantly becoming painfully erect. He didn't know why that particular spot made him react like this, but it always had. Dennick had been kind enough to show him that the second time they'd slept together and had then continued to thoroughly exploit this knowledge over the course of their friendship. Now the Al Bhed man seemed to realize the gem he'd found and smirked against Tidus' skin, reaching down to grab a handful of his ass. This would definitely be fun.

Out of nowhere, the door burst open, startling the two men badly. _"Fryd dra vilg?" _The Al Bhed man narrowed his eyes angrily at the intruder, muttering curses in his native tongue before saying harshly, "Excuse me, but this is my room. Please leave." And as the man stepped forward, he instantly regretted ever opening his mouth. Not only was this man huge, the massive sword sitting lazily on his shoulder was probably the scariest fucking thing he'd ever seen. (What the fuck?)

The hulking figure took another step forward, a wolfish grin on his face. "Please pardon the intrusion. I was looking for that," and he nodded toward the blond blitzer who was staring at him wide-eyed and shocked.

The Al Bhed man may not have been the smartest person to ever walk the earth, but he certainly wasn't stupid. And only a total fool would have stuck around and argued with the sword-wielding monster in front of him. With a curt nod and a mumble of something only he could hear, he quickly took his leave, ignoring the fact that this _was_ his room. He'd come back later... After the red-coated man was long gone.

The gears in Tidus' mind worked overtime trying to figure out what the piss had just happened. He had a found what, for all appearances, had seemed to be a good fuck, got started, and then suddenly lost it just as quickly. Because his former guardian had come bursting into another man's room. With his sword drawn. What the hell was going on? And so he decided, since his mind couldn't seem to come up with an answer on its own, to ask. "What the hell was that?"

Auron slowly turned his gaze towards the blond, looking incredibly bored. "Sorry. Did I interrupt something?"

The side of Tidus' mouth twitched in annoyance. It seemed almost like Auron was _trying_ to push his buttons. "Yeah, you kinda did. What were you doing?"

A small shrug. "Looking for you."

"So you said. Why?"

"I didn't know where you'd gone."

Tidus shut his eyes, trying to comprehend the situation as best he could. What he came up with in the end was that, for apparently no real reason, Auron had caused him to lose his best source of distraction. A badly needed distraction. And now he was left with no distraction and an annoying problem in his shorts that he'd have to take care of himself. Great. "Well, thanks a lot, Auron. I'll remember to call you next time I want the mood ruined." He adjusted his clothes, wincing as he did so, before stomping angrily past the older man and to the door.

Auron watched all this, doing his best to look nonchalant. Truth be told, he didn't really know how he'd gotten there. As if he was possessed, he'd stormed down the hall, shoving his ear up against every doorway he came upon, listening for sounds of the blond. When he heard a moan that couldn't belong to anyone else, he'd drawn Marasame and charged in, perfectly ready to cleave whoever was touching Tidus in half. He chased the man away, and it wasn't until the boy started talking to him that he truly came back to reality. He hadn't meant to let his instincts take over, but when Rikku had said the brat was with another man, he just couldn't control himself. He didn't want anyone else touching him.

Now as the boy went past him, clearly upset at having lost his would-be bed partner, he caught sight of the obvious bulge in his shorts. Something inside him snapped, and reacting completely on instinct yet again, he grabbed the boy's wrist, yanking him back into his chest and kicking the door shut to prevent his escape.

"A-auron?"

"It seems I made you uncomfortable. I'll fix it for you," he growled in the blond's ear.

Tidus shivered at what was obviously an imitation of his own words from just the night before. Feeling himself grow harder just at the thought of Auron standing so close to him he mumbled, "Please don't tease me, Auron. Let me go, I have to take care of this."

The boy's breath hitched when he felt a warm tongue lick the shell of his ear. Had Auron just _licked_ him? Really?

"I already told you I would fix it, Tidus. After all, you helped me last night. Fair's fair." And he reached around, cupping the boy through his shorts, rubbing enticingly.

Tidus made a somewhat strangled noise in his throat. This couldn't be real, could it? Auron would never willingly touch him like this. Maybe he'd died or this was a dream. A really good dream. One he never wanted to wake up from.

Auron smirked when the boy leaned back into his muscled chest, breath speeding up. Playfully biting the boy's ear, he swiftly undid a few clasps and delved his hand into his shorts, wrapping thick calloused fingers around Tidus' very hard member. Instantly the boy bucked into his touch, groaning slightly, making Auron's smile grow. He was so responsive. It was very alluring.

Determining to keep himself in check and not take things too far, no matter how enticing the idea was, Auron gently squeezed the cock in his hand, earning him a small gasp. Slowly, torturously, he pumped his fist a few times, watching Tidus' beautiful face as he did so, carefully committing his expressions to memory. He knew he may never get another chance at this, and he wanted to remember everything as clearly as he could.

Continuing his slow and steady pace, Auron adorned the boy's neck with soft, butterfly kisses, his lips trailing from his hairline until he was stopped by the fabric at the collar of his shirt and back up again. The boy's skin was so smooth, so soft. He wanted to run his hands over every inch of it, and before he knew what he was doing, his free hand was running underneath the boy's shirt, exploring the well-defined chest and abs thoroughly.

Tidus could barely breathe. Auron was _touching _him. Auron's hand was around his cock, his other hand was running enticingly over his skin, his lips were hot against the flesh of his neck. Practically gasping for air, he pressed himself as far back into Auron's warmth as he could, needing to be close to him, needing to feel him, terrified if he didn't this would all disappear.

Auron swallowed hard the more Tidus pressed against him, his arousal becoming more prominent by the second. The boy was practically writhing in his hands and it had to be the most erotic thing the warrior had ever seen. It was getting harder to control himself, especially when the blond moved against him like that, the friction alone nearly sending him over the edge. Was Tidus like this with all his partners?

That thought reminded him rather bitterly of the fact that Tidus had originally intended on doing these things with a man who wasn't himself. Envy poured through him, and he had to remind himself sharply that Tidus was not his. He could sleep around with whomever he wanted. Auron had no right to say or do anything about it. Regardless, he was only seconds away from going to find that Al Bhed man and actually _using _Marasame on him this time, when he saw the darkened patch of skin right below Tidus' right ear. He had left a mark on Tidus... He had left a mark on _his _Tidus. Never mind the fact that he'd just told himself Tidus wasn't actually his. That did not give anyone besides himself the right to leave their mark on the brat. He wouldn't allow it. With a feral growl, he attached himself to the mark already there, sucking and biting ferociously, determined to leave his own bigger mark overtop of it. He wasn't really expecting the boy to literally jump upon contact.

"Au-Auron!" A tanned hand reached back and grabbed a fistful of his hair. "Auron, if you do that there-- ah! Auron!"

Auron blinked rather stupidly for a moment before smirking triumphantly at his find. With the exception of his cock and prostate (rather obviously), this seemed to be the boy's most sensitive spot. More determined than ever now to mark this place as his own, he continued his ministrations, his hand continually pumping the boy as he worked. Tidus' breathing was getting shallower by the second it seemed, and his voice was getting louder. Auron was starting to feel light-headed from it all, and he wasn't even the one receiving any pleasure. Just seeing Tidus like this, knowing he was the one who was causing it, was enough to make him feel this way.

Not even thinking about what he was doing, the hand under the boy's shirt reemerged and two fingers were placed at the boy's lips. He didn't have to say a word and Tidus immediately wrapped his tongue around the digits, drawing them into his mouth. He sucked on them with vigor, like they were candy, and Auron groaned slightly at the feeling, remembering how that mouth had felt on his cock just the night before.

The hand was pulled away and Tidus whimpered at the loss of his oral fixation until his shorts were pushed down to pool at his feet and he felt Auron kick his legs farther apart. Blue eyes widened and a small gasp escaped him, though with all the panting he was doing it wasn't really noticeable. Auron wouldn't. Admittedly, that's what normally happened when someone gave you their fingers to suck on but... Auron wouldn't do that. Auron would never do that for him, just the fact Auron was touching him at all was beyond belief. He wouldn't really... His thoughts immediately died when he felt the now slicked fingers rimming his entrance slowly. Apparently Auron would.

Auron continued his slow circle around the outside of the puckered skin, smirking more than ever when the boy whimpered and pressed back against his fingers. Saliva wasn't the best lubricant in the world, but it would work just fine. He wanted to do this, he wanted Tidus to feel amazing, the way he'd felt the night before, and he knew this was the way to do it. He ignored the part of his brain that screamed he shouldn't be doing this at all, ignored the part that screamed this was going farther than he'd meant it to, ignored the part that screamed he was moving too fast. All that mattered was the writhing blond in his arms, was bringing as much pleasure as he could to the most important person in the world to him. All the self-control he usually exercised, the years of training himself to keep a lid on his emotions and only show them when absolutely necessary, all of it was quickly slipping away, and all it took was one look at the boy in front of him.

He slid the first finger in up to the first knuckle and paused there, twisting it slowly, listening to the boy's whimpers at the teasing. He couldn't keep teasing for long though, simply because he wanted to reach that spot that would make the blond go wild. He pushed the finger in the rest of the way, pumping a few times to loosen tight muscles, before sending the second finger to join it. He thrust a few more times before crooking his fingers, searching. It had to be around here somewhere... there it was. At least that's what he assumed when the boy spasmed in his arms with a particularly loud moan. Excellent.

Auron continued to abuse the boy's prostate, rubbing it unmercifully, listening to his delicious cries. Nothing in the world had ever sounded better to him. Tidus, meanwhile, couldn't believe how loud he was being. For all the people he slept with and how good he was in bed, all the tricks he could do, he was generally a pretty quiet partner. He was a whore, yeah, but that didn't mean he had to moan at every touch and scream his pleasure for the whole fucking world to hear. Now, though, he couldn't seem to shut up. He hadn't made this much noise since his first time with Dennick. Auron was making him come completely undone.

"Auron! Fuck, Auron, I... I'm gonna come!"

"Then come," he growled lowly right into the boy's ear. Tidus shivered and felt Auron's mouth attach once more to the magical spot beneath his ear and bite down _hard_. He lost it then, spraying his seed into Auron's hand, onto himself, and shooting it a decent distance onto the inn floor. His legs gave out beneath him momentarily, but the much larger body behind him supported him easily, arms wrapping around him almost gently. A warm tongue lapped apologetically at the teeth marks he'd left on Tidus' neck, licking up the bit of blood that had managed to break the skin. Tidus just did everything in his power not to pass out.

Once the blond had managed to regain his composure and stand on his own, Auron also seemed to regain himself and found he didn't know what to say. So he did the obvious. He left without saying anything, leaving Tidus standing in the middle of the room with his shorts still around his ankles and cum on his abdomen. He moved swiftly away from the room and found himself back in the lobby, advancing on a small, blond girl who was doing everything she could to distract herself from the thunder outside.

"Oh! Hello, Mr. mean--"

"This is all your doing."

Swirly green eyes blinked at him in puzzlement before a sly grin broke across her face. "What? Did you go pound that cute little ass of his?"

He snarled, low and dangerous, features contorted, and the smile immediately left her face. He was seriously angry... No... Angry wasn't the right word. Or if he was angry, it at least wasn't really with her. He was confused, and that in turn frustrated him. He wasn't used to feeling this way towards anyone, and on the occasion he did, he'd never acted on it. Now he'd apparently done something, though she wasn't sure what, and he didn't know what to do next. She bit back a sigh of exasperation. Poor old man was an emotional retard. "Tell me what happened."

He found himself obeying, though he didn't really know why. Probably because it was her fault he was in this mess in the first place. Regardless of the reason, he gave her the short version of events, not going into detail about what he did with the brat, just letting her know he didn't actually sleep with him, but they most definitely 'fooled around'. When he was done, she had a slight blush on her face, but she was smiling as well, looking genuinely pleased.

"Well, I don't see the problem. You didn't do anything wrong, except when you left at the end and probably confused the shit out of him. You really need to learn to communicate better. Words can help sometimes. Honest."

He gave her a look of total incredulity, and when he opened his mouth to protest, she snapped, "Look, you're a big boy, and while you may be stupid when it comes to this, you _know_ what's going on. You know you love him, you know you get jealous when he's with other people, you know you're happy when you're with him. The only thing getting in your way, is you. What I don't understand is why you won't just try."

He felt his frustration grow to the point of nearly exploding. Was this girl not listening or just plain stupid? "Try? Try what? He's not interested."

She rolled her eyes. "Really? He said that?"

Auron opened his mouth to reply but suddenly stopped, going over the boy's apology yet again. "Well... no, not exactly."

"Then how do you know?"

He growled, hand curling into a fist. "Because... because."

"Because."

"Because it's wrong! I'm so much older than him, I was like his father for years..."

"That doesn't seem to have stopped the way _you_ feel."

He glared at her once again, but it was only half-hearted now. "That's because I'm a perverted old man."

"Yeah? Well he's a perverted young whore. Pretty good match, huh?"

Auron winced a bit at her words but chose not to say anything. He knew it was true.

"Look." She put her head in her hands, feeling like she was explaining to a child how to tie their shoes; a simple task once finally understood but nearly impossible beforehand. "Despite what you may have implied from his words, he's never outwardly rejected you, right? And it doesn't seem like doing sexual things with you disgusts him, based on what just happened, meaning it's not hopeless. So once again, the only thing getting in your way is you... Do you still want to be with him even though you think it's wrong?"

Auron shut his eyes and looked away. Tidus was too young for him, he was supposed to love him like a son, he'd promised Jecht he'd care for him, he was unsent and most likely not long for this world... but... "Yes."

"Then do something about it. You're afraid to make a move because if he doesn't accept you, it will ruin whatever you have now. But if you don't make a move, nothing will happen. Ever. And if he does accept you... well, there's always a chance, y'know?"

Something about that peaked Auron's interest immediately. "A chance for what?"

Rikku gave him a look to show what she thought of his intelligence. "A chance he could like you back."

Something inside the man's chest fluttered. "Really? You think there's actually a chance of that?" He refused to acknowledge how much he sounded like a child.

"Yeah, of course! Like, try telling him how... Hey! Where are you going?"

Auron didn't answer, just stalked off deep in thought. A chance. A chance the boy could return his feelings. He'd never actually considered the possibility; wished, but never actually expected anything. He knew Tidus didn't feel that way for him now, but maybe he could try getting closer to the brat slowly. Slowly being the key word there; what he'd just done a few minutes ago wasn't taking anything slow. But if he did start slowly trying to win the blond's affection, then maybe there was a _chance_... And if there wasn't, their relationship could stay the way it was now, or at least it could if he did things subtly enough. It was a win/win situation.

Forcefully pushing all doubts aside and allowing himself to simply hope for once, Auron smirked. He would do everything he could to make Tidus his, as long as there was a chance.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Tidus had no idea what was going on anymore. As if Auron barging in on him and the older Al Bhed man hadn't been odd enough, he decides to jerk Tidus off, then just leave without a word. To say the boy was confused was a massive understatement. He was so far beyond confused it wasn't funny.

Wiping himself off with the only thing he could find (sheets from the bed), he made his way warily into the hall, not sure what to expect next. So many strange things had been happening the nervous boy was trying to steel himself for anything. If everyone had jumped out holding a giant neon sign that said 'SURPRISE, DUMBASS!' and wearing party hats with balloons and streamers around them, then told him he wasn't in Spira at all but still in Zanarkand, locked up in an asylum for nutjobs while this was all in his head, he'd be game to believe it. Why not, it made about as much sense as this whole fucked up place and Auron's behavior did.

With a very tired sigh, he made his way down the hall, back towards the lobby, when he heard Yuna's voice from one of the rooms. Her voice sounding very agitated. Now that just wouldn't do. Looking around furtively to make sure no one else was in the hall, he mashed his ear up against the door, straining to hear exactly what she was saying. It was useless though, he could hear her muffled voice and it's tone, but the actual words weren't clear enough. And was that another voice he heard? Who was in there with her? Maybe if he just cracked the door, just a bit...

The door suddenly swung inwards, sending him toppling head over heels into a literal somersault before coming to rest next to a very shocked summoner. He did his best to force a carefree smile, but it came out looking very sheepish. "Yuna."

He watched her make a mad dash to shut off the sphere she'd been watching and was rather abruptly aware that he _had _just barged into her room and invaded her privacy. Why hadn't he just knocked if he'd been worried? Why did he have to be a moron and try to spy on her like a child? He tried to sputter out an apology, but it went very badly. He'd never made less sense in his life than the spew of incoherent noises he uttered then. He finally managed to finish with an, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come in." Yeah, smooth. "Hey, wasn't that that Jyscal Guado guy?"

His eyebrows raised slightly when she said it was the man's will, and it asked that his son be taken care of. Tidus just about scoffed at that. "Well, I know one way to take care of him."

By the way she lowered her eyes, he instantly wished he hadn't said that. Then when she uttered an apology and ran from the room he really didn't know what to think. What had gotten her so upset? The sphere? Blue eyes widened. Of course, the sphere. Something on there must have upset her so much. First that guy came out from the farplane even though he was dead, and now he was on a sphere she was watching. That Guado guy was definitely what was upsetting her, Tidus just wasn't sure why. Though, if he watched the sphere...

His head was suddenly in a vice grip, squeezing him tight enough he thought his brain just might explode. And there was Wakka, reprimanding him for bothering Yuna, saying "she'll tell us when she's ready." Tidus found himself once again wanting to scream at the older blitzer. Why couldn't he understand? Yuna was his friend, Yuna was troubled by something, and sometimes when people were troubled by something they had to be coerced into talking about it. Otherwise they would just bottle it up, thinking they could handle it themselves when really they couldn't. Didn't anyone else see that's what Yuna was doing? They had to make her talk to them.

But the fear that his head might pop like a grape kept him from saying this, and he found himself agreeing with his attacker just so he would be released. Once he'd gotten feeling back into his ears, he eyed the sphere still sitting on the desk contemplatively. He still really wanted to know...

Wakka cleared his throat harshly, fixing him with a look that said 'just try it', and he knew he wouldn't be watching that sphere anytime soon. With a growl that would have given Auron a run for his money, Tidus stormed from the room to sit in the lobby for an hour before they decided to leave, practically twitching in annoyance. Something was really wrong. He wished he could just _talk _to Yuna.

Then, after a brief argument (if one could really call it that) between Rikku and Auron where she called him mean and said she wasn't scared of thunder when she was clearly terrified, they finally left. Tidus felt Auron's eyes on him but didn't have time to contemplate it at the moment. As much as he wanted to figure out what exactly was going on between him and Auron, Yuna was more important right now. He had to figure out what was wrong. Turns out he really didn't have to wait.

After walking for a few minutes, Yuna stopped them. Because apparently she'd changed her mind. Apparently she was now going to marry that lousy bastard Seymour. Tidus felt his stomach do a very unpleasant flip. He'd known something was up, but... but why would she change her mind about this? The only small comfort he got as she rambled some bullshit about Spira and Yevon was that the other guardians didn't look exactly happy either, but that still didn't explain her change of heart. Then Lulu seemed to hit the nail on the head. "Wait is it... Is it because of Lord Jyscal?"

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Upon hearing this everyone frowned even more. Auron cast a glance over the others, studying their reactions, and could practically see the lightbulb in Tidus' head flicker to life. The boy gave a rather sudden start before calling excitedly, "Hey! That sphere!"

Sphere? What sphere? He walked up to the girl then, looking down at her in a stern manner. This was becoming more serious by the second, and he didn't like not knowing what was going on. "Show me." He wasn't especially surprised when she rebuffed him, but his scowl grew. Yes, something serious was definitely going on here, but the girl wasn't about to tell them anything. Not yet at least. He decided the best course of action was to feign indifference and wait it out. He'd find out what was going on eventually, and he'd keep a particularly close eye on her until then. One thing he was sure of, though... she was _not _going to marry Seymour. He was still praying that he'd find a way to keep her alive rather than lose her like her father, but either way, he would never let Braska's daughter marry that half-Guado creep. But for now, it was best to just play along. There was only one thing Auron forgot about in his planning.

"Wait a minute, Auron. You're not gonna stop her?"

Fuck, Tidus. A very confused, angry, and hurt Tidus, who couldn't seem to wrap his head around what was happening. Auron knew that look. It was Tidus' desperate look, the one that begged him for help. Auron hated that look right now. Because right now he couldn't help Tidus, not the way the boy wanted. And it upset him not only because that look was surprisingly rare on the blond's face, but the boy was only worried for Yuna. He only wanted to help his friend. He wanted the same thing Auron wanted, but the older man knew his way to go about it was futile. So to achieve their common goal, he had to stop the boy from interfering now, the only way he could. He rebuked him; harshly.

The blond's face went from pleading to confused and dejected. Confused because of Auron's seeming uncaring, because he knew the older man better than that, and dejected because... well, because of the whole situation. Because he couldn't help his friend. Because no one else was willing to help his friend. Because no matter what he did it was useless. Auron watched as he inched away from everyone else while Wakka and Rikku talked with Yuna. He recognized the gesture and felt alarm build up.

_Dear Yevon, why must he be so sensitive?_

The boy felt ostracized. For anyone else that wouldn't be such a big deal, but when it came to Tidus it was dangerous. Auron knew from experience the brat could go from feeling mildly out of place to feeling completely unwanted and in the way at the drop of a hat, even if it didn't logically make any sense. And he didn't know what Tidus would do if he thought he wasn't wanted, especially by Yuna. He wasn't about to let this go on long enough to find out. He needed to talk with the brat before he did something stupid.

* * *

Poor Tidus doesn't understand... no surprise there. And someone told me the other day my sex scenes kinda suck. I know that, I'm hoping my plot and all the fun drama I put in it is good enough that my readers will overlook my lacking in that area. ;P

Oh, and the whole thing with Auron trying to make Tidus like him while Tidus already adores him... yeah, I have two moronic friends who did exactly that for about a year before they both realized it. So unfortunately, not quite as unrealistic as it might seem.

Now my all-star list:

PhoenixCharmer116

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Keep feeding reviews to the hungry author! Fat authors write faster! Oh, and for the record, it's Tie-dus. I didn't know anyone thought differently. Or am I horribly wrong there?


	10. Even Legendary Guardians Make Mistakes

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Hahaha, I actually did get this one done pretty fast. And I have a headstart on the next one too, so hopefully that won't take long either.

Warnings: language and angst... lots of angst. A major portion of this is Auron reflecting on both Tidus and some past events. It also gets a little psychological because I'm a psychology nerd. So I hope no one hates it or gets crazy confused. Anyway, read on, brave ones!

* * *

**Chapter 10: Even Legendary Guardians in Red Coats Make Mistakes**

Auron kept sharp eyes on both a brunette and a blond as they made their way through the Macalania Woods. The brunette was clearly troubled but keeping it hidden well. The blond was having no such success. While he kept up with everyone else's quick pace, he made sure to stay at least a few yards behind them, not joining in the conversation, even when his other blond counterpart tried desperately to engage him. To the others it most likely seemed as if he were merely pouting, having a temper-tantrum because things didn't go his way. Auron couldn't blame them for this train of thought, mostly because he was doing exactly the same things he would do if he truly was having a fit. But Auron had lived with and cared for the brat for ten long years. And after each and every one of those painstaking years, he had finally managed to decipher all of the boy's _complex _emotions. Tidus wasn't pouting. Tidus was staying away from everyone because he felt they wanted him away.

Tidus' biggest worry in life was being in the way, being around people who didn't want him there. It was a form of abandonment syndrome brought on by everyone close to him seeming to leave when he was so young, though Auron couldn't help but suspect Jecht's failing attempts at parental affection (constantly calling a six year old a crybaby for instance) along with his mother continually ignoring him also played a part. He tried desperately to be attentive to anything others wanted in order to keep them from hating him, but likewise was quick to believe they hated him the second they got even mildly upset. If he felt someone didn't want him around, he'd pull away from them before they could leave, or abandon, him.

Auron had had that fact thrown in his face after the whole monster cat incident. He was lucky to have caught it then and fix any misunderstandings between the boy and himself. Though on several occasions Tidus had managed to convince himself Auron hated or was going to hate him, never again after that had Tidus questioned whether Auron 'wanted' him. That didn't, however, change how the brat felt about everyone else. Countless times during the blond's childhood the boy would spend days moping around the house, refusing to go play with his friends, saying they didn't want to play with him; until eventually his friends would show up at the door, asking why Tidus hadn't been out all week.

Auron had tried on numerous occasions to explain to the brat that just because someone got angry at him occasionally it didn't mean they hated him. The brat had just given him that sickly sweet, fake smile he was so good at with a "Sure, Auron!" and then repeated the whole process a month later. Auron wanted to break him of this rather unhealthy habit, but all of his efforts proved to be futile. Then the boy had come home unusually early one day, saying his friends had wanted to play blitzball but couldn't stop arguing because the teams were uneven, and they couldn't come up with a fair compromise. So he'd left to make the teams even.

Auron was going to commend him on his surprising maturity with the whole situation, until the boy clarified. He left because he was in the way. Any praise had immediately died. Only Tidus could take a situation where there were eight other boys involved and twist it so that when there was one too many, _he _was the one that threw the number off. None of the others, just him. Auron actually found himself hoping someone had said something... but no. Tidus had reached that conclusion all on his own and then proceeded to wander around the house looking like a kicked puppy. Auron had been so desperate to get that look off his face he'd taken the brat out for ice cream. He may not have been able to stop the way the boy thought, but the least he could do was some damage control. He tried not to think about how it seemed the boy was getting worse.

Then everything had come to a head not long after. Old friends of Tidus' mother had a habit of randomly stopping by to check and see whether the boy was still alive and well. Auron had a feeling this had more to do with seeing whether or not the sizable inheritance Tidus' parents had left him was up for grabs, not that he'd ever let those vultures get near it. During one such occasion, as Auron grudgingly made the woman tea, nine-year-old Tidus sat on the couch stroking the monster cat and half watching TV, half listening to the adults' conversation. Auron never remembered clearly what was said because he'd been doing all he could to block the stupid woman out, but he knew it was something along the lines of 'Oh, Auron, you really are amazing for taking care of a child that's not yours. What a burden it must put on you.' He didn't remember his reply either, he'd probably just grunted or something of the like, but only a few minutes later Tidus disappeared to his room.

It took nearly an hour before the woman finally left, and Auron couldn't be happier to see the back of her. He went to make dinner and then call Tidus to eat, but the boy didn't come. Thinking maybe he'd fallen asleep, Auron had gone to his room to get him... only he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere in the house.

Auron wasn't a stupid man, quite the opposite, so he realized right away what had happened. Tidus had heard that stupid woman and her incessant chatter. Tidus had heard her call him a burden. Tidus had then slipped out of the house when Auron wasn't looking. All in all, that meant the nine-year-old boy was out alone, wandering around Zanarkand at night, upset, and headed towards who knew what part of town. Auron damn near panicked.

His memory was a bit of a blur again from that point on due to his distress. He had never really panicked before, not the way he did that night, didn't know he could. He was always so calm and collected, even when he let his cool demeanor slip occasionally it was nothing like that. Only Tidus could make him that way.

It took him hours to find the boy, but in truth he knew he was lucky and it could have taken much longer. He'd spotted him huddled in the back of a disgusting alley in what was, of course, the worst part of probably the whole city, surrounded by bars, hookers, and drug addicts. Leave it to Tidus to find his way there of all places. _He sat behind a dumpster, knees pulled up to his chest, shivering in the cold night air. He looked so small and helpless... Auron wanted to grab him and hold on so he couldn't run off again._

Auron couldn't remember this part well either, but he remembered feeling a massive sense of relief sweep over him. He'd stormed over to the boy, yanked him to his feet and shook him, screaming at him for the first and last time ever. He couldn't remember what he said, but it was most likely something about how he'd already told the brat he wanted him and how he shouldn't listen to stupid women who didn't know what they were talking about. One thing Auron did remember clearly was Tidus' reply. _"I know you want me, Auron, but I don't wanna be a burden. I like you. I don't want to cause problems for you."_

And Auron honestly couldn't remember his response. He knew he wrapped the shivering boy up in his red coat and carried him home, scolding him the whole way, telling him over and over that he was never allowed to run off like that again, while the child clung to him but surprisingly never cried. By the time they'd reached the door the boy was falling asleep in his arms. He'd taken the brat into his own room and dropped him on one side of the large, double bed, taking his shoes off for him and doing the same himself before laying next to him. He'd had the not necessarily irrational fear that if he didn't stay with the brat, he'd be gone again in the morning. So he'd tucked them both under the blankets and shut his eyes. _Just as he was starting to doze he heard the soft voice float through the darkness._ _"Auron... were you scared because I left?"_

_Auron frowned at that and reached out in the surrounding black to where the voice had come from to ruffle blond locks. "Stupid brat. Of course."_

Nothing more was said before they both fell asleep, but when Auron woke the next morning he had found the boy, still wrapped up in his coat, nestled into his side, small arms wrapped tightly around him. He made no move to get up, just wrapped one large arm around the smaller body and waited nearly an hour until the boy had woken on his own.

Auron would blame himself for the way Tidus was currently acting, would say that he should have handled things better that night when the boy was still a child, except for one small thing. Tidus' behavior in that area had improved after that. Drastically. When people got mad at him he started to take it with a grain of salt, slowly beginning to understand that getting mad at and hating someone were not the same. He stopped blaming himself for things that couldn't possibly be his fault, and he never referred to himself as a burden again. His self-confidence grew until his cocky attitude wasn't just an act anymore. Admittedly, he was still a little sensitive, but it had sunk to a healthy level. It was like all forms of any real emotional problems were gone, and he was finally just normal, happy Tidus _all_ the time.

And then something happened that made him regress back into that same nine-year-old boy. When he was fourteen he got the living crap beat out of him. And he was right back to square one. The only difference was that this time he wasn't a child. This time he bottled it all up until he found a more adult way to deal with his anxiety. He took out all his self-loathing through his body. Through sex. Not just sex, lots and lots of sex with lots and lots of random partners.

Auron became abruptly aware of this when he'd interrupted him in the living room and had then done some research. He never let Tidus know that he knew about all the sleeping around the boy did. All that would accomplish would be to alienate the boy from him. So he watched on, truly unsure of what to do, but in a way glad that the brat wasn't doing something even more dangerous, like taking drugs or following in his father's footsteps by taking up the bottle. And as much as the older man hated to admit it, the sex seemed to be working. As long as Tidus kept sleeping around, he was able to be genuinely cheerful throughout his everyday activities. He was able to function normally as his happy-go-lucky self, didn't start to randomly hate or blame himself on a regular basis. It was right back to how he'd been before he got beat up... but Auron should have done more to stop it. Not helping the boy then was probably the biggest mistake of his life. He saw that now more than ever.

Because now, Tidus was stuck in Spira on a pilgrimage where not only were they traveling most of the time, but when they finally stopped at an inn or a town, he still couldn't normally have random sex because so many of the people were dead-set against homosexuality. And the boy had always been, without a doubt, gay. So now that he wasn't getting that usual amount of sex, now that he couldn't use that outlet anymore, Tidus' old habits were coming back with a vengeance. He was back to thinking he was in the way, that no one liked him, no one 'wanted' him. And the more he began thinking that again, the more Auron realized just how much he'd truly failed him. He should have helped him with this before, not let him sweep it under the rug through abusing his body. But he would help him now. It was definitely time to interfere, stop the boy's thoughts from getting any worse. Auron didn't like it when Tidus thought this way, actually thought that if he wasn't around people would be happier. If Auron wanted to be honest, he was terrified of where it might lead. If Tidus continued down that path, he might try to leave everyone permanently. And just the thought managed to make the hardened warrior stop breathing.

So now first things first. Getting over his 'sex addiction' of sorts would take time and work, and Auron would slowly help him along with that; both because he didn't want the boy to hurt himself anymore and because he didn't want him sleeping with anyone else. But right now, there was another pressing problem, and it was one Auron could take care of immediately.

Letting his pace slow, he dropped back to walk next to the blond, earning a rather suspicious glare for his troubles. He stayed silent at first, letting the boy get used to his presence before saying softly, "You're worried about Yuna." Mentally he chuckled dryly. Hadn't he had this same discussion with Rikku not long ago? Why the hell was he the one stuck with caring for these damn kids?

The conversation that ensued went well though. Tidus obviously hadn't figured out on his own that Yuna was trying to get something from Seymour, but he caught on quickly enough, thank Yevon. Auron explained what he thought was truly going on, Tidus expressed his worries in more detail, and everything got out in the open. Now there was only one thing left to say, but Auron knew it was the most important.

"Yuna is easy to read."

"Yeah, she is."

"But hard to guard." The older man quickened his pace, leaving the younger behind. "Stand by her, always."

He chanced a glance over his shoulder and was pleased to see the blond nod, along with jogging a bit to catch up. It had worked. He didn't have to worry about the boy trying to leave, not right now at least. Now he had a... purpose of sorts. He had a reason to stay with them. He wasn't an unwanted burden, he was expected to stay by Yuna, to help her. He wasn't just in the way, he had a job to do. And Auron knew that would keep him from thinking the others didn't want him around. For the time being, things would okay, he just had to stay alert. This was all far from over.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Rikku wasn't sure what Auron had said to Tidus earlier, but she had been thrilled when her buddy was suddenly back and scheming with her once again. After they'd managed to flatten Wakka's gravity defying hair, much to everyone else's delight, it was time to make camp. Tidus and Wakka wandered off to collect firewood, Kimahri and Auron started setting up the tents, and the girls built a fire and started on dinner. It was as they sat around said fire, watching the food to make sure it didn't burn... again... that Yuna leaned over and whispered into her cousin's ear, "Hey, can I tell you something? Only... you _have_ to keep it a secret."

Immediately, Rikku was alert. She hoped to almighty Yevon that Yuna would tell her whatever was wrong, would say why she suddenly decided to marry Seymour. And of course Rikku would keep it a secret from the other guardians... depending on what it was and whether or not it was something they could indeed help her with. "Of course, Yunie!"

Yuna glanced around, making sure anyone nearby was out of ear-shot and busy with their own tasks, before giggling and leaning in a bit closer. "I think... I think I may like someone... really like them."

Rikku dropped the machina part she'd been cleaning, green eyes going wide. That was Yuna-speak for 'I have a super huge crush on someone, and I want to pin them down and fuck their brains out.' "Really? Who?" Her face scrunched in distaste. "It isn't actually... Sey--"

"Of course not! He's just a duty, you know that!"

The little blond let out a huge sigh of relief. For a second there she was worried her cousin might have absolutely appalling taste in men.

"I... it's... Tidus."

The poor machina fell a second time. Uh-oh. "Umm, Yunie... you sure?"

Yuna blinked bi-colored eyes, confused. Was she sure? "Of course I'm sure, Rikku. What's wrong with Tidus?"

Oh dear, this was bad. "There's nothing wrong with him, Yunie, but--"

"Before you say it, I know occasionally he can be a bit childish," the summoner cut her off, flipping brown hair deftly over one shoulder. "But so can you, and that's part of his charm. He's always so sweet and caring, always puts others before himself. Like earlier. I know Wakka and Lulu thought he was being a baby, but he was only upset for my sake. He tries so hard all the time to make me happy."

Rikku winced as Yuna named all the reasons to like Tidus, and she agreed with every single one of them. Only one small problem. Tidus was as gay as they come, and it would seem her cousin had yet to realize this. She didn't know how, it had only taken her a few days before she herself was sure, but then again she was Al Bhed and Yuna was a Yevonite. Al Bhed accepted that's how some people were and Yevonites... well... But this was really, really bad. And to make it all just a little bit worse, Yuna wasn't the only member of the party who had their eye on the blond blitzer. She vaguely wondered how the summoner would take it if she knew her competition, a thirty-five year old unsent male, had a better chance at ever getting with Tidus than she did. "Yunie..."

Yuna quickly held up a hand. "I know nothing can ever happen, Rikku. I have to marry Seymour--"

"You don't have to marry Seymour!"

"--and I must continue my pilgrimage. I know I can never actually... but I just... I can dream, right?"

The blond bit her bottom lip hard, not able to make eye contact. "Yeah... 'course you can dream." She forced a cheerful smile to the best of her ability. "No harm in dreams, y'know?" She immediately felt guilty, but what should she do? Telling Yuna that Tidus was gay would only depress her even more, and quite frankly, there wasn't anything wrong with dreaming a little. Everyone fantasized, and as long as that's all Yuna planned on doing, she didn't need to know the truth.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

"Hey, Tidus... think you could do me a favor, ya?"

The boy stopped taking his bright yellow boots off and blinked at Wakka surprised for a moment. "Yeah, sure, man, what's up?"

"Haha, well y'see..." Wakka's face slowly turned the same shade as his hair. "Me and Lu... we--"

Tidus waved his hands wildly in front of him, willing the older man to stop. Something about the picture of Wakka and Lulu together, strike that, the picture of Lulu with anyone, made him start to feel uncomfortable for some reason. Probably because most of the time she acted like the frigging ice queen and constantly gave him looks that scared the shit out of him. "All right, I got it. I'll get outta your way."

"Heh, you the best, ya?"

"Uh, thanks." And fifteen minutes later found Tidus not sleeping in the tent he and Wakka shared, but sitting around the slowly dying fire, shivering a bit and wishing he had grabbed a blanket before he left them alone. How long were they going to take? They weren't going to be at it all night... right? Well, at least they were quiet, only the occasional grunt or moan reached his ears, and had he been sleeping like everyone else was lucky enough to be doing, he never would have heard it.

A small noise behind him made him turn and he smirked a bit. Maybe everyone wasn't asleep after all. "Hey, Auron. Takin' a walk?" Tidus really wasn't surprised. Even back in Zanarkand when he was a kid, Auron would constantly get up in the middle of the night and sit out on the deck, watching the stars. Now on the pilgrimage he'd randomly wander off for a bit to be alone. It was just his nature.

A grunt was his reply and the red-coated warrior slowly took a seat on the ground next to him. After several minutes of silence, the bigger man said slowly, "It's late. Shouldn't you be asleep?"

Tidus laughed abashedly, rubbing the back of his head. "Ah, well, about that... I..." His voice trailed off at the sound of a particularly wanton moan, and his cheeks turned a nice shade of pink. "Haha..."

Another grunt. "I see."

The blond cleared his throat and looked away, finding the situation incredibly awkward. He still didn't know what exactly had happened between himself and Auron at the inn the other day and he wasn't sure how exactly he should act around him. The logical part of his brain told him that this was still Auron, still the man that had raised him, and he shouldn't act any differently around him than before. The other part was quick to point out that never during the ten years Auron spent raising him did anything even mildly sexual happen, and maybe things weren't the same as they had always been. Okay, obviously things weren't the same, but... exactly how much had changed? As all this ran through his mind he yawned widely into his hand. Fuck, he was too tired to be thinking about this complicated shit.

As he turned half-lidded eyes to the fire, he heard Auron's coat rustle beside him before an outstretched hand was stuck in his face. "Come."

Trying not to shiver at that particular word and the other way it had been whispered in his ear not long ago, Tidus stared at the offered hand like he'd never seen the like of it before. "What?"

"You can stay in my tent."

Oh... Yeah, that made sense, especially since it was anyone's guess how long Wakka and Lulu would take, but... "Ah, that's okay, Auron, I don't wanna be a bother."

One dark, amber eye narrowed and the corners of his mouth curved down. He, not for the first time, cursed how intricate the brat could be. It was entirely possible that the boy was just making a polite gesture and didn't want to impose on Auron's personal space. With Tidus, though, it was also entirely possible that he was now thinking he was a horrible inconvenience to humanity and should go kill himself rather than force Auron to share a tent with him for the night. Normally it would be the first, but lately, with Tidus' emotions going slowly out of whack, who knew. He was like a junkie who had just had their stash taken away from them. Or really, though Auron hated to think about it this way, like a cutter who had just been forced to stop. He was his normal self for the most part, but he was slowly getting more and more sensitive to... everything.

Luckily, regardless of where his thoughts were at the moment, Auron's reaction would still be the same. The hand that was meant to help him up grabbed ahold of wrist and yanked him to his feet with a growled, "Don't be ridiculous," as he was dragged into the older man's tent. He was shoved unceremoniously down onto the bedroll where Auron then joined him, throwing his red coat over both of them like a blanket and draping an arm lazily over the blond. As much as he wanted to pull the younger man's body close to his and hold him, Auron kept the physical contact light, no different than he had when Tidus was a child and had sought refuge in his bed from the thunderstorm outside. He wanted to start making moves, wanted to very badly, but now was not the time. There were more important issues than Auron's sexual desires here.

If Tidus hadn't been so damn exhausted he would have found himself a bit excited by this whole situation. He hadn't slept with Auron since he was eleven. He remembered the specific night, because it had been just after Tidon had died, and he'd been upset, despite having known it was coming and that the cat had actually lived longer than originally expected. He also remembered it distinctly because it was the only time other than when he'd tried to run away that he hadn't been the one to come to Auron. Instead Auron had grabbed him before he could reach his room, pulling him into his own, saying, _"You'll just end up back here anyway." _Tidus' eleven year old manly pride had wanted to argue, but he didn't. Partially because he knew it was true, but mostly because he was just so happy Auron was there and cared. Now Auron had once again instigated it and Tidus found his mind wandering back to the night at the inn after he'd given Auron a blowjob. The older man had been laying with him when he fell asleep, and he couldn't help but wonder if he'd stayed with him all night...

"Sex is a funny thing, isn't it?"

Tidus jumped a bit, suddenly roused from his half-asleep state by the very odd question. No, not only the question was odd, but Auron's tone of voice was too. It was the tone he used when he knew he was getting ready to make a long speech, a very rare occurrence. Tidus couldn't help but dread where this might be going. "Y-yes...?"

Auron heard the clear hesitation and reluctance in the boy's voice and knew he didn't want to talk about this. Too bad, Auron didn't particularly want to either, but it needed to be talked about. In the past he'd let it be swept under the rug, had decided that if he ignored it enough it would go away. That wasn't the way things worked. You can choose not to see something all you want, that doesn't mean it's not there. This time he wasn't going to pretend things would work themselves out when he knew they wouldn't. This time he _would _help Tidus. And the most important part of that was talking about it. They _would_ talk. And they'd start now.

"It can be used for a lot of things. Most commonly it's used for reproduction and pleasure. But it can also be used for other means as well... can't it?"

Tidus felt himself stiffen automatically, pretty sure he knew exactly where this was going now. It was strange, however, for Auron to be beating around the bush like this; he was usually much more blunt and straightforward. Just what was he playing at? Well, whatever it was, Tidus wasn't playing along. "I don't know, can it?"

Auron was unfazed by his lack of cooperation. He'd expected it. "I believe so. For instance, there are people out there who use it to harm others, like that man you stopped before. They get more pleasure from hurting people with it than the act itself."

The boy shivered a bit but remained silent.

"Then every once and a while you'll find a more unique approach... Say, someone who uses it to harm themself."

Tidus shut his eyes, willing this conversation to end _now_. He didn't want to talk about this! How did Auron even know? How long had Auron known? Shit, he had to get away. He couldn't stay here, not with Auron, not when he _knew _how sick Tidus was.

"You wouldn't happen to know anyone like that, would you, Tidus?"

Get away! The boy made a rather frantic scramble to get to his feet and out of the tent, but without missing a beat, the arm that had been resting gently over him before tightened like a vice. He was slammed back into a hard chest, and Auron's other arm came around him as well, trapping him completely. He struggled weakly for a moment until Auron growled lowly in his ear, "Calm yourself," and he unconsciously obeyed before the words even fully reached his brain. So he laid there, limp and trembling, his only salvation coming in the fact his back was to his former guardian, wishing Auron would just get whatever he had planned over with now that he knew... And if he knew that, did he know just how _many _people Tidus had slept with? Fuck... fuckfuckfuck...

Auron had known Tidus would fight with him on the whole issue. He'd also half-expected the boy to panic like he had. What he hadn't expected was the fear rolling off him in waves. That didn't make any sense, not that the boy made sense very often, but still. Why would he be so damn scared? The brat didn't really expect him to hurt him, did he? Hell, he wasn't even... oh... now it made sense.

Relaxing his grip so that it was still firm but less suffocating, Auron said in his most gentle voice, trying to ignore the fact that it still wasn't very gentle, "Tidus, I'm not angry with you. Are you listening? I'm not angry, I'm not going to get angry, and I don't hate you. I just want to talk." And dear Yevon did he hate talking this much. He was a quiet man by nature, normally doing his best to avoid full sentences. He certainly wasn't garrulous the way Tidus was, he'd never been able to indulge in idle chatter, could rarely hold a decent conversation unless he was mad or lecturing. And Tidus generally understood him better than most; the boy was an expert at reading his monosyllabic sounds and abstruse body language. But right now Tidus was in no condition to have a simple grunt thrown his way. Tidus needed Auron to talk to him before he would talk himself, and Auron would do just that, no matter how uncomfortable it made him. He would spell everything out carefully so Tidus couldn't misconstrue his words and make it worse. He wouldn't mess up again.

And his talking seemed to work, along with his choice of words. The boy's trembling began to ease almost instantly, and he slowly leaned back against Auron, no longer afraid of who knew what repercussions. Auron bit back a sigh of relief at this and idly patted a blond head, silently saying 'good boy.' After waiting another minute for the brat to become fully relaxed he said evenly, "I want to talk a little, Tidus. I want you to tell me why."

Tidus felt like crying for a number of reasons, none of which were good enough to give into of course. He couldn't help but whimper a bit at Auron's question, though, and wearily shut his blue eyes. "Auron... I'm really tired." He was whining, and he knew it, he just didn't care. He truly was far too tired for this.

Auron heard the pleading in his voice and felt himself give way slightly. But no, he'd gotten this far, he needed something. Just a start, that was all, but something. "You don't have to tell me why you want to hurt yourself." They would discuss that later, without a doubt, but he knew it would be much more in depth than the boy could go right now. "But that is what you're using sex for isn't it? Not pleasure but... what? Punishment?"

Tidus was immediately hit with the image of Dennick's worried brown eyes and pretty frown. _"Sex isn't supposed to be a punishment, cutie." _And to think that no matter how often he'd said that, Tidus hadn't even believed him. It seemed so obvious now. "Sometimes. Yes." Maybe he just hadn't ever wanted to see it before.

The older man's eye shut as he realized without a doubt that Tidus indeed wasn't the junkie, he was the cutter. Both junkies and cutters were addicts, but in very, very different ways. Most sex addicts were like junkies, both chasing after a high, both desperately trying to reach that pinnacle of pleasure. Cutters were addicts too, they became addicted to taking their frustrations out on their own bodies, thinking they did something wrong and needed to be hurt, punished, for it, even if they didn't realize that's what they were doing. Tidus was the cutter, the self-harmer, not the libertine... Auron wished Tidus was the libertine instead. Because that would mean he hadn't been hurting all this time while Auron looked the other way.

"You need to stop that, Tidus. It isn't healthy."

The boy whimpered again and shifted uncomfortably. Auron knew he was reaching his peak of cooperation for the time being. Besides, the brat really was tired, he needed to sleep. "Just one more question... Why do you use sex as opposed to other methods?"

He felt the blond tilt his head slightly to the left and knew exactly what kind of expression the boy was wearing. It was his typical brow-furrowed, deep in thought look, the one he only gave serious, important questions. Finally he whispered so quietly it could barely be heard, "I don't know," and Auron knew he was telling the truth.

"All right, that's enough for now. Go to sleep." He attempted to remove the arms he'd kept around the brat in case he tried to bolt again, when his wrists were caught in smaller, tan hands. He paused then, realizing what the brat was silently asking, and left them where they were.

"Auron?"

"Hm?"

"Please..." The boy took a deep breath as if steeling himself for something horrible. "Please don't leave," and he sounded so desperate Auron felt his heart break a little. He didn't know what exactly the boy meant, whether he wanted Auron to stay with him for the night or he was afraid the older man would abandon him completely now, but his answer was the same regardless. He pulled the brat in closer and said as simply as he could, "I won't."

A small sigh of relief. "Good."

The brat was asleep within minutes, testament to just how tired he had been. Auron ignored his own fatigue, staring down at the sleeping boy's face, a pronounced frown marring his own. He had finally broken the ice, let Tidus know that he knew about his 'habit'. He had at least managed to get somewhere, and that was good. But he just couldn't understand it. Why in all of Spira would the boy think he needed to be punished? He'd lived with the boy for ten years, and in all that time the worst he'd ever done was get a few lousy grades. He'd never done anything honestly bad, ever, so why would he want to hurt himself? Did he really just hate himself that much? It didn't make any sense. Then again, self-hatred rarely ever did.

Absently, he pushed some hair away from the boy's face before laying back and finally closing his eyes. He would get to the bottom of this and fix it. And he would do it before he really did have to leave.

* * *

Sorry if the angst was too strong, but part of it was kinda fluffy too so I hope no one found themselves too distraught after reading this... Next chapter isn't so... so...

Time to rant a bit. My cousin, pretty much the only person I know in 'real life' who reads my stuff, pissed me off beyond words. She read this chapter just a few hours ago and said ever so intelligently 'wow, I didn't think you wrote shota.' I was like what the hell? She's been reading this from the beginning and never called it shota, Tidus is young, but he's seventeen, not ten or something. Then I realized that she took the part with Auron and Tidus sleeping in the same room sexually... REALLY? I MEAN C'MON, REALLY? Let me just say that was not meant to be in _any way _sexual, but I don't think anyone else would be stupid enough to take it that way. So either my cousin truly does need that brain transplant like I've been telling her for years or I'm really bad at writing, for something completely innocent to be taken so out of context. And in case it's the latter, I'll say once and for all that in this story, Auron did not even become attracted to Tidus until he walked on in him when he was sixteen. Everyone understand? Good. Sorry about that, and kudos to anyone who actually read all of it.

Oh, and I would like to apologize for what I said about the name thing before. Apparently some French-speaking people pronounce Tidus' name Tee-dus, and when I think about how the French language sounds, it makes sense, so sorry. However, I still think it's meant to be pronounced Tie-dus, because as JessiKa xoxo pointed out, that sounds more water-related and I know for a fact the creators picked his name for its watery sound. And that's all I've got on that. Now my all-star list.

PhoenixCharmer116

XxXFailureByDesignXxX

Catheli

NeonGreen69

Anbu Aoko

Pederz

Maribel Maki

Fr3ya

Amon2

Shadow D. Wolf

honeyberries

KawaiiNyuu

fuxfell

Shironami

random359

Murder Junkie

JessiKa xoxo

kittylizz

Doreiku

Reviews seriously make me happy so keep it up! I was a little unsure about this chapter, wasn't sure how people would like it since it was angsty and kinda slow-paced, so let me know what you thought, good or bad, please!


	11. Sins of a Liar

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Warnings: Language

* * *

**Chapter 11: Sins of a Liar**

It was definitely interesting, if nothing else, to watch Tidus while he watched his father's sphere. Auron had been determined to show it to him, knowing it would be good for him, but hesitant because he truly had no idea how Tidus would react. He was a bit surprised at how non-hostile the boy was. It was still rather obvious he felt no love for the man who sired him, but it seemed that some of the intense hate for him had diminished. It was enough that it made Auron want to push his luck.

"Jecht loved you. He just didn't know how to express it, he said." _And dear Yevon, he really didn't express it well, did he?_

The brat's reaction was typical to that of any seventeen year old boy, he got a bit embarrassed and flustered, said the usual 'gimme a break', that he didn't want to talk about it. But there was no real anger, not like Auron had been expecting. Then when he started to walk away, he heard the boy say in a more serious tone, "Thanks... but... I think I was already starting to realize that."

Auron paused glancing over his shoulder. This wasn't at all what he'd expected to happen.

"I mean," the boy continued softly, "he's still a stupid drunk. And I'm still mad at him... but I know he must have cared at least a little." He looked up then, blue eyes shining with something Auron couldn't really place, a small, serene smile on his lips. "After all, he sent me you, so he must have cared, right? He couldn't have sent me anything better."

That flutter in Auron's chest started up again; it had been doing that a lot lately. He stared at the boy in front of him and was suddenly struck with the rather violent urge to kiss him. How could he resist it when he was looking at him with that soft expression, saying such sweet, adorable things. He was standing directly in front of the boy before he knew it, had moved so fast the boy jerked back a bit in surprise, but the smile returned then, the same as before. Auron reached out a hand, ready to cup his face and bring him closer... wait. This was not a good idea.

He wanted to start slowly making moves on Tidus, Rikku had made that clear for him not long ago, he had come to a personal decision that he was going to go for it... but should he really be doing it now, when the boy was having problems with his 'habit' as Auron had decided to call it? Wouldn't that just confuse him and send mixed signals? If he tried to help Tidus get over this and then turned around and started making moves on him, that would be confusing for anyone, right? Even if he didn't just want sex from the brat, wanted something more, it would still involve sex to some degree, because that's what a relationship ended up being. And to ask the brat to handle both new developments at once... wasn't that throwing too much at him too fast? In the end wouldn't that just be a hindrance to his recovery?

He didn't know really, he would have to think about it all in more detail. But right now he was standing in front of the brat with his hand outstretched and not actually doing anything; Tidus was starting to give him an odd look. Shit, he had to do something with his hand. Maybe he should just stroke his cheek? No, too much, don't touch the face. The head, go for the head. Pat him on the head like always, that's normal. That's right, keep it normal. Or should he be just a _bit_ more intimate?

The result was something that couldn't be called patting or stroking. It couldn't really be called anything other than petting the boy's hair, very much the way you would a cat, and it was incredibly strange when you did it to a person. Tidus didn't seem to care one way or the other, because he leaned into Auron's touch, smile still in place, making Auron want to kiss him all over again.

With a grunt, the older man turned away quickly, afraid that if he stayed like that too long he'd do something he'd later regret. For now, until he sorted everything out, he should keep physical contact to a minimum. But regardless, he had to sort this out fast. It had been several days since he'd last talked with Tidus, and he wanted to continue soon. It wasn't like he had all the time in the world. His problem was that he could really use some advice on all of this before he proceeded in the wrong way and messed everything up. Emotions really weren't his thing, he needed help and didn't know who to ask.

Silently, he surveyed his travel companions through dark glasses. Most of them were out automatically, and he didn't spare them a second glance. Rikku... Rikku had given him excellent advice before, but he didn't think she would be able to help him this time. As useful (and surprising) as her knowledge on love had been, that wasn't what he needed help with now; now the topic was much darker and it required more... experience. As wise as she'd proven to be, Rikku was still a child, and something like helping Tidus with his 'habit' would probably be a little over her head. She'd likely end up running to him and yelling something like 'Poor, Tiddy!' and trying to hug it all better. That might work for a regular problem, but this wasn't regular. This was a deep-seated disaster waiting to happen, and it couldn't be looked at so simply. He needed someone who would understand that. And that naturally only left one person. He just hoped she'd be willing to hear him out.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

The group reached a small inn a little before dark, glad for the reprieve from sleeping on the ground. They were only about two days from Macalania Temple and tensions were running a bit high, though no one actually said a word about Seymour or marriage. Yuna asked for some rooms, finding they had four left, and she smiled saying that was perfect. It was thrown off a bit when a very red-faced Wakka said abashedly that he and Lulu wouldn't mind sharing a room, while said woman smirked at his embarrassment.

Yuna giggled and said it was fine but then, "Oh, so I guess... um... maybe Kimahri should go with Tidus and I'll go with Rikku?"

Kimahri said nothing, but he didn't seem too keen on this idea. Everyone knew he tried to be at Yuna's side as much as he possibly could, and the thought of sleeping elsewhere, even if it was just down the hall, didn't sit well with him.

Rikku, who was on Tidus' back at the moment and steadily making her way up to sit on his shoulders, glanced up from her task with a simple, "Don't worry, Yunie, me and Tidus can share," before resuming her climb.

Yuna didn't look like that sat too well with her, based on the frown that instantly appeared. "You two? That's not exactly... appropriate..." Even Wakka and Lulu looked a little uncomfortable with the arrangement.

Rikku didn't even look up this time when she giggled and said, "Really, it's _not _a problem," while Tidus blushed a bit and said nothing, working on keeping his balance while the girl had one leg thrown over his shoulder. Rikku had no qualms about sharing with Tidus because whether he was a guy or not really didn't matter in this case. She could dance naked in front of him with her chest shoved in his face, and he'd just watch on with a bored expression. There was absolutely no chance he would try and ogle her in the shower or something. And if she happened to catch a glimpse of him, big deal, she'd seen a naked man before, and it still certainly wouldn't lead anywhere.

Yuna's frown grew, and small wrinkles appeared across her forehead and between her eyes. "Why not?"

Instantly, Rikku froze, realizing what she'd just said. Tidus was gay, so it wasn't a problem, but Yuna didn't know he was gay. Yuna didn't even suspect he was gay. But now... oh fudge, why did she have to go and open her big mouth? How many times had Pops told her to think before she spoke?

Auron watched all of this, not sure whether or not to be amused. It was fun to watch Rikku squirm, but Yuna was getting upset now; and Tidus didn't realize anything was wrong, so he wasn't going to fix it. With an inward sigh, he straightened a bit and grumbled, "Tidus can share with me."

Rikku saw the opportunity and pounced on it. With a childlike cry of glee, she pumped her fist in the air. "I get my own room? Score!" And she prayed everyone bought it. Maybe they would just think she didn't mind sharing with Tidus before because she was too 'innocent' to realize _why _it was inappropriate. Wakka seemed to go along with it, Lulu still looked Tidus over suspiciously, and Yuna... Rikku actually didn't know what Yuna was thinking, but she still didn't look particularly happy. Shit.

An hour or so later after everyone had settled into their respective rooms, relaxed, and cleaned up, a soft knock was heard on Wakka and Lulu's door. The black mage answered, expecting Yuna or Rikku or possibly even Tidus. She did not expect to see Auron standing there, looking rather... apprehensive. "Sir Auron."

He gave her a polite nod before tensing a bit. Yes, definitely apprehensive. "May I speak with you please? In private?"

Lulu was more than a little surprised by the request, but she masked her emotions well. "Of course. It's a beautiful night. Shall we step outside?"

Another stiff nod, and she called over her shoulder to Wakka that she was taking a walk. She then strode next to the red-coated legend, keeping up surprisingly well with his long strides. Once outside he paused, staring at the stars for at least a minute. Lulu said nothing, knowing he was preparing himself for... something. She had no idea what, but whatever was going on this was clearly difficult for him. Finally he said quietly, "I'm afraid I need to ask for your advice. It's rather important, but it entails a long story and... it's not all particularly pleasant. If you would be so inclined, I ask that you listen and try not to judge too harshly. At least not of him."

Lulu blinked, startled a bit by the longest string of words she'd ever heard the man put together. He needed advice. And he didn't want her to judge too harshly of a 'him' that she could only assume must be Tidus. This was... she didn't even know what this was. Interesting? Maybe. "If you need some advice I'm always more than willing to give it. I'll listen."

He let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding and nodded, shutting his eyes. No part of him wanted to relay any of this to anyone, but he knew he had to. As much as it pained him, he needed some help.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Rikku left her room, which she found she was rather happy to have to herself, and skipped down the hall, humming softly. "Yunie!" she called brightly, rapping on her cousin's door. "Come out and play!"

Only seconds later, the door swung open, and Rikku involuntarily took a step back faced with the presence that was Kimahri. It happened every time she wasn't expecting him somewhere. She knew he was harmless and would never hurt her, but he just seemed to secrete commanding power and it always startled her. The same thing happened when Auron snuck up on her, and she _knew _he was just a big, scarred softie. "Hello, Kimahri. Is Yunie here?" Stupid question, if Yuna hadn't been there Kimahri wouldn't have either, but it was the polite thing to say rather than just barging in the room, right?

The Ronso gave her a curt nod, stepping back and letting her inside. She skipped in, grinning more when she saw her cousin sitting on the edge of the bed. "Hey, Yunie, let's go look around. It's so boring just sitting here, y'know?"

Yuna said nothing, didn't even lift her eyes from where they were burning holes into the floor. Rikku shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling uneasy. Yuna was acting very strange. Finally the summoner, glanced up and said softly, "Kimahri, would you go into the hall please?"

She was obeyed instantly, and Rikku unconsciously played with the hem of her shirt. This was very, very strange. "Yunie?"

"How could you, Rikku?"

Well, that was a bit unexpected. "What?"

"How could you do that?" Yuna looked up at her with the most hurt expression the young Al Bhed had ever seen. "You knew I liked him, I told you. If you... if you already had... something, then you just should have told me. I would have accepted it graciously enough. I would have been _happy_ for you. Why did you..." She trailed off and looked away, unable to say anymore over the painful lump in her throat.

Rikku truly didn't know what the hell was going on. "Yuna? What do you mean? I don't understand."

Bi-colored eyes shot back up to her, and they were... angry. Dear Yevon, _Yuna _was angry. At her. She'd never seen Yuna angry at anything before. What had she done?

"If you and Tidus were already an item why didn't you just say so?"

Oh. Wait, what? "You think... me and..." Rikku laughed. She truly couldn't help herself, she laughed hysterically at what her big, stupid mouth had brought on.

"I'm glad you find it all so amusing," Yuna snapped, looking seconds away from bursting into tears. "It must have been hilarious when I confessed my feelings for him. Did you get a good laugh at that too?"

The laughter immediately died on Rikku's lips. Yuna was really upset, and for a good reason if she thought her cousin had been making fun of her this whole time. "Yunie, no, you don't understand."

"Oh, I understand just fine, thanks." She took a deep breath, burying her face in her hands, trying to calm down. "Rikku, please just go. I want to be alone for a while."

Rikku actually started to obey but stopped. She couldn't just go, not when Yuna still had the completely wrong idea. "Yunie, please just listen. Listen and then I'll go, promise."

Yuna said nothing, but her eyes slowly peeked out from between splayed fingers.

Rikku sighed a bit in relief. "Tidus and I _are not_ together. Not at all. Not now, not ever. Okay?"

"You're lying."

Teeth clenched tightly at that. "I am not!"

The summoner suddenly stood from her bed, decidedly angry again. "Then why do you seem so guilty?"

Silence followed. Guilty? Rikku was guilty? She actually had to stop and think about it. Yeah, she did feel guilty, Yuna was right. But it certainly wasn't for any of the reasons Yuna expected. She felt guilty because she probably should have told Yuna the truth about the blond blitzplayer from the beginning. Since she hadn't, it was now causing all kinds of problems. It was getting Yuna upset, and that's exactly what she'd been trying to avoid in the first place. Furthermore, it felt like she was lying. Even if Yuna claimed she'd never attempt to have anything between Tidus and herself, Rikku still felt like she was giving her cousin false hope. She should have just told Yuna about Tidus' orientation initially, then all of this would have been avoided. So yes, she did feel guilty.

"Yunie, you're right, but you're reasons aren't, y'know?" She sighed, rubbing her temples in a very un-Rikku like way. "Look, I'm sorry I lied to you. I'll tell you the truth now."

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Lulu examined the moon partially hidden by the clouds in the sky. Her mind was slowly analyzing everything she'd just been told, trying to make it all piece together. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting when the red-clad man had asked her to listen and help him, but it certainly hadn't been anything like what she'd just heard. Hell, she could barely believe what she'd just heard. It was easy to tell the boy had some insecurity issues, but...

A shift of feet next to her reminded her sharply that Auron was still standing there, patiently waiting for her to sort out her thoughts. She tore her gaze from the beige orb, sharp eyes focusing on one peering above dark glass. She took a slow, deep breath, trying to think of something to say. "Well..." Great, that was intelligent.

Auron cleared his throat, looking away a bit. "I'm sorry to burden you. If you don't want to--"

"No no, it's all right," the dark-haired woman cut in quickly, holding up a hand to stop him. "I'm just taking everything in."

He swallowed rather hard, focusing on the spot above her left shoulder. "You're not... disgusted?"

That surprised the woman. She narrowed her eyes a bit, taking in the man in front of her. "Are you?"

"Of course not!"

The vehemence in his voice just surprised her more, but then she smiled a bit. "I didn't think so. Neither am I." She leaned back against the building behind her, crossing her arms over her ample chest. "As far as his homosexuality goes, I suspected it already. After what Rikku said with the rooms earlier, I was pretty much certain. She may have fooled Wakka, but I know she's not that much of a child..." She waved her hand absently, knowing she was getting off topic. "As soon as I thought it a possibility back when I first met him, I found myself truly thinking it over. I know it goes against the teachings, and I myself would never indulge in such a blasphemous act; but I've no right to tell others not to. Their disregard of Yevon is their own business, and it's not my place to call or judge them on it. It's the same way I've always felt about the Al Bhed and their machina."

Auron nearly sighed in relief. It was refreshing, especially in Spira, to meet someone with such a level-headed, open outlook.

"Then if you meant am I disgusted by his problem, my answer is the same as yours." One thin, dark brown raised slightly. "As far as I'm concerned, he's ill. I don't mean he's crazy," she added quickly, noting the uncomfortable shift in Auron's stance, "I mean it just like I said. It may be very different from a physical illness, but an illness of the mind can be even more devastating. And just like a physical illness, it needs to be healed, the same way you'd heal a broken bone or a fever." She smiled. "But you already know that. That's why you came to me, isn't it? You don't know how to heal him yourself."

The big man nodded. "I've already messed up enough. I don't want to cause anymore harm."

The eyebrow rose higher. Auron had just admitted to making a mistake? She knew the man would apologize if it was truly called for, he wasn't overly prideful, but... for him to actually voice that he'd 'messed up'? He must truly care for the blond boy. "I wouldn't say you did anything wrong. More like you just didn't do anything right either."

Auron very pointedly looked away this time, steeling himself for what he had to say next. "There's a bit more I need to tell you."

"Oh?"

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Tidus wandered down the hall, annoyed at Wakka for having fallen asleep immediately after they'd reached the inn. The blond found himself with an excess amount of energy that evening, and he'd been hoping to wear it off by indulging in a few rounds of blitz. But no, a certain red-head had to be exhausted from playing with his scary girlfriend all night. Bastard. So now he was looking for Rikku, hoping she could figure out something for them to do. Because dammit, Tidus was bored.

He was about to knock on Rikku's door, when he heard the yelling from the room next to it. His angel's room. And that could only mean that Yuna was fighting with someone. Upon closer inspection of the sound, it was obviously Rikku. Startled, he was about to knock once again when the door flew open and an irate, little Al Bhed came storming out. She shot a menacing glare his way, then immediately softened her features when she saw who it was. "Tidus."

Before he could even say hello, the girl threw her arms around his waist in a crushing hug. "I like you _exactly_ as you are!"

The boy blinked. "Okay. Thank you, Rikku."

She didn't say anything else, just walked off, retreating to her own room and shutting the door with much more force than necessary. Tidus stared after her for a moment, before directing his gaze towards the now open doorway of Yuna's room instead. "Hey," he said softly, crossing the threshold. "What happened? You okay?"

The summoner was standing with her back to him, but he could see by the stiffness of her shoulders how tense and angry she was. This worried him, seeing as how Yuna rarely ever got angry. The fight with Rikku must really have bothered her. "Yuna? What's wrong?"

Yuna's small hands slowly clenched into fists and she turned to face him, mismatched eyes steely and hard. "You're homosexual."

Blue eyes blinked and a blond head cocked to the side slightly, eyebrows raising. "Yeah, I'm gay." Had she not known that before? Rikku had, that's why she'd been okay with sharing a room with him. Oh, so that's why Yuna had said it wouldn't be appropriate, she'd thought he was straight. But that was getting off topic. Why was she bringing this up when he'd asked what was wrong? He wanted to know what had made her so angry so he could fix it, but then she'd said... wait... "Is that a... problem?"

"You lied."

"_You lied to me, you fucking faggot!"_

"W-what?" Tidus shook his head slowly, trying to figure out what was going on. "No, I didn't--"

"Homosexuality is a crime against Yevon," she continued, her voice steadily rising. "You've been traveling on a holy pilgrimage and committing blasphemies the entire time. How could you do that to me?"

He continued to shake his head. He didn't understand. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize--"

"How could you lie to me like that?"

_Lie? _"I... I didn't lie... I..." He took a few careful steps forward, reaching to put a hand on her shoulder. He needed physical contact, to reassure both her and himself. "Yuna--"

"Don't touch me!" she yelled, slapping the offending appendage away from her. "You've been committing crimes against Yevon on my pilgrimage!"

Tidus flinched, cradling his hand to his chest and looking very much like a scared, small child. "But... but Rikku... she's Al Bhed. She uses machina..." He trailed off, not sure what to say.

"At least Rikku never lied to me! And at least Rikku isn't... dirty!"

Tidus flinched again, harder this time, and stepped back unconsciously. _Dirty? She thinks I'm dirty?_ "What do you mean?"

"You sleep with other men!" she cried, eyes wide, like she couldn't believe he didn't know. "That's... it's just... _disgusting_!"

The pain inside Tidus' chest spilled over at her words. She thought he was dirty. His angel, one of the most important people in the world to him, thought he was disgusting. "Yuna..."

She turned her back to him. "Leave."

He froze, eyes bright with unshed tears, cradled hand now fisting the fabric of his shirt. "What?"

"You heard me. Leave. Don't come near me anymore. I can't risk your sins ruining my pilgrimage."

Tidus couldn't answer. Tidus couldn't even _breathe _properly. He slowly took a few steps backward, staring at her like he couldn't believe what he'd heard, then abruptly turned and started to run away. He smacked hard into a furry wall and blinked up at Kimahri, wondering vaguely if he'd been standing there the whole time. "Sorry," he muttered hurriedly, taking off again, too afraid to even glance back. The silent Ronso watched his retreat, internally frowning and startled by his tears.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

"I see." The mage's eyes were on the moon once again, only this time she was far more surprised than the first. By this point, she was far more surprised than she thought possible. "You... like him."

"Yes."

She nodded, playing with the cuff of her sleeve in a way she hadn't done since she was child. "You love him."

"Yes." The man answered without hesitation. He'd come to terms with it, he knew it was the truth.

She nodded again. "That complicates things a bit."

"I know."

Lulu pursed her lips before bringing her thumb to her mouth and biting the nail a bit, thinking hard. This actually complicated things a lot. "What's more important to you?" She finally turned her gaze to the big man. "Helping him or... winning him?"

"Helping him."

Again he answered with no hesitation and the woman smiled. It really was love, not lust, if he was putting Tidus' needs before his own. Good. "If helping him is most important, then I suggest you keep your romantic advances at bay. At least for the time being. Once he starts to heal, you can continue your pursuits. Until then, they would only hinder the process."

Auron nodded. That's what he'd thought, but he hadn't really been sure. "So what should I do?"

She bit her nail again and was silent for a moment, going over everything once more in her head. "You said you managed to get him to talk before, right?"

An affirmative grunt. "A few nights ago. It wasn't much, but it was a start at least."

"That's good." More chewing, more silence, then, "I think the best thing to do would be to keep getting him to talk as much as possible. He trusts you, and he's willing to open up to you, he just needs a push in the right direction. Get him alone where it's just the two of you, try and make him feel comfortable..." She trailed off, thinking some more.

Auron, however, cleared his throat restlessly. "How... exactly should I get him comfortable do you think?"

"Oh, just try and act as normal as possible, though once he realizes you're there to question him he'll likely panic again... Physical contact is good, it always calms people down." She smirked rather evilly his way. "I'm sure you'll have no problem touching him, correct?"

Auron grunted.

"Just be sure to try and keep it platonic. Nothing too... heavy. You know what I mean." She sighed, mind still running. "You said his past insecurity issues were nearly healed before, but an incident when he was fourteen made him regress... right?"

The warrior scowled, remembering with far more clarity than he'd like the day he'd come home to find Tidus a beaten mess. "Yes."

"And you don't know what actually happened during this incident."

That just made him scowl more. "No, I don't. I tried to get him to tell me, but when he wouldn't I just... gave up. I didn't realize then how important it was." He laughed bitterly, hating himself all over. "Another mistake."

Lulu felt for the man who had obviously tried his best and placed a hand lightly on his arm in comfort. "Don't dwell on it. Just try and find out what happened that time. I think it's the root of all this."

Auron nodded his agreement, having been starting to think along those lines himself. He'd let it go once. He wouldn't do it again.

Wrapping up their talk, the two leisurely made their way inside, Auron debating on whether he would talk to Tidus tonight or wait for a better time. He decided he would see how tired the brat was before making his decision, but his thoughts came to a halt when he and Lulu both heard the heart-wrenching cries coming from down the hall. Both rushed to see what was the matter, Auron getting a grip on the hilt of his sword in case of danger. What they found was a pathetically sobbing Yuna, curled up into a ball on the floor by her bed while Kimahri stood stoically by.

With a small cry of distress, Lulu rushed forward, gathering the girl into her arms and raking long nails through brown hair. "What's the matter, Yuna? What happened?"

The girl just sobbed harder, clutching Lulu's dress in white-knuckled fists and trying to bury her face into the mage's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she gasped, unable to catch her breath. "I'm so so sorry."

* * *

And another chapter down. Before anyone says it, I don't hate Yuna, I'm not picking on her, nor do I think she's incredibly OOC here. She's under _a lot _of stress with the whole Seymour thing, she finds out the guy she really likes is unavailable so it's like getting indirectly rejected, and she feels kind of betrayed. So she runs her mouth off without thinking or actually meaning any of it. And dammit, everyone has done that at some point, said things to purposely hurt someone else, and then immediately regretted it afterwards and felt terrible, wishing they could take it back. Even the nicest people in the world do it at least once. So I don't think it's that far a stretch to think Yuna can do it too. Of course, if you disagree please feel free to tell me so. I welcome criticism as well as compliments.

And I can't believe no one bitched about last chapter. I actually got some really good reviews! My cousin read them too, by the way, and she admits she's a moron. That's why I still love her, at least she knows she's stupid. Now my all-star list.

PhoenixCharmer116

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It just keeps growing! Again, thanks for the awesome reviews last chapter, they really reassured me. Keep 'em coming!


	12. Meet the Creeper

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

I'm so sorry this took so long! It took forever to write and it still feels rushed. Oh well, I really did try my best. Please enjoy!

Warning: Language

* * *

**Chapter 12: Meet the Creeper**

_"You've been traveling on a holy pilgrimage and committing blasphemies the entire time. How could you do that to me?"_

_"How could you lie to me like that?"_

_"You sleep with other men! That's... it's just... _disgusting_!"_

_"Leave. Don't come near me anymore. I can't risk your sins ruining my pilgrimage."_

The teenage blond couldn't get the words constantly running through his head to stop. Over and over they repeated themselves like some kind of twisted broken record, a reminder that his angel now hated him. That she was disgusted by him. That she never wanted to see him again.

The logical part of his brain yelled at him that none of this was actually his fault. He may have known that Yevon was against gays, but no one ever told him it was that big a deal. He hadn't thought it would really matter, especially since an Al Bhed was traveling with them. If it was okay for Rikku to commit crimes against Yevon or whatever, then why wasn't it okay for him? But Yuna had answered that, hadn't she?

_"At least Rikku never lied to me! And at least Rikku isn't... dirty!"_

In her eyes, the Al Bhed may sin by using machina, but they weren't dirty. Tidus was. He knew it was true. Not because he was gay, though. No, no matter how much he hated himself, it wasn't because he was gay. Saying all gay people were dirty wasn't right, he never thought that. That would be saying that Dennick and a lot of other perfectly decent people he'd met both in Zanarkand and Spira were dirty, and Tidus knew they weren't. They were good people, it didn't matter who they slept with.

But Tidus was a different matter. Yuna may have called him dirty for the wrong reason, but the term was accurate enough. Tidus was a whore, he had slept with so many people he'd long ago lost count. He used sex to hurt himself because he was sick in the head. Hell, dirty didn't even begin to cover it. So even if Yuna's reasoning was wrong, she wasn't wrong in her conclusion. And that was enough to convince him that he should do as she asked and leave. He never had any right to be in her presence in the first place. So he ran.

For what had to be quite a long time he just kept running aimlessly, paying no attention to where he was going or his surroundings. He encountered a few fiends, all surprisingly low-level, and killed them before continuing on his way. Finally even _his _seemingly endless energy supply eventually ran out. He let himself collapse to the ground, panting and sweating from the exertion of his actions, pulling his knees up to his chest to hug them. Dammit, it was cold here, a lot colder than it had been back at the inn. And was that ice? Where was he?

As this thought hit him, he realized exactly what kind of situation he was in. He was completely alone, in the middle of the night, in a world he still didn't fully understand, and he was lost. No, not even lost, you can only get lost if you have somewhere you're trying to get to in the first place. He didn't have anywhere to go. He had nothing. And he was really starting to feel the despair of it all.

Tightening his arms around his legs, he buried his face in his knees. Fuck it all. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to Zanarkand. He wanted to see Dennick and the rest of his friends. He wanted to go back to high school during the day and play blitz for the Abes at night. And he wanted to be able to walk home after practice, go into his simple houseboat, and have Auron waiting for him with dinner... Auron... He wanted Auron.

Shit, he had left without even saying goodbye! His hands clenched into fists, and he started wishing he hadn't just taken off so quickly. What if Auron was worried? Tidus could still remember when he was a kid and tried to run away, how scared Auron had been. He had never seen the older man look like he had that time. This was almost exactly the same, wasn't it? Tidus may have been older now, but... would Auron still get scared?

He shook his head at the thought, mentally chastising himself. Of course he wouldn't. Auron had only been scared that time because he was a little kid, and he'd promised his old man that he would protect him... But Auron did say he wanted him, even without his promise to Jecht... so maybe... Shit. He didn't want Auron to worry about him, he didn't want to even risk the possibility. Maybe he should go back and explain things to the older man, just in case. That way he could be absolutely sure Auron wouldn't get upset because of him. Yeah, that's what he'd do.

"Excuse me. Aren't you one of Lady Yuna's guardians?"

Tidus jumped, recognizing the voice but unable to immediately place it. Turning slowly, he looked over his shoulder and felt his eyebrows raise of their own accord. "Oh... it's you. Hi."

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Auron watched as Yuna sobbed against the mage, apologizing over and over in a breathless voice. He frowned, starting to feel anxious. Something was very, very wrong here. What could she have done that would upset her so?

"Yuna, you have to tell us what happened," Lulu coaxed gently, still combing through the summoner's soft brown locks. She was just as worried as Auron was. She'd known Yuna for years, since she was a child. Only once before had she ever seen her cry like this.

Yuna, however, didn't seem to be willing to share. She kept opening her mouth like she was about to say something, then shutting it with a whimper, hiding her face again. She didn't think she'd ever felt this bad, this _guilty_, in her life. Finally she gasped out, "I'm a horrible person," before breaking down into sobs once more.

Lulu immediately shushed her, telling her she wasn't horrible at all, when an angry little Al Bhed entered the room. She took one look at the situation, pushed Auron out of her way, and stormed up to the crying summoner. "Yunie," she said evenly, eyes very serious, "what did you say to him?"

Yuna didn't want to even think about what she'd said to Tidus, let alone actually voice it out loud. She seemed to sober a bit, looking desperately at her cousin. "Rikku, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, really. I'm so sorry."

Rikku squatted down in front of the older girl, so they were eye-level with each other. Again she asked, "What did you say to him?" When Yuna hesitated in answering she corrected her question to, "Did you say mean things to him?"

At this Yuna, nodded, swallowing hard to keep from bursting into tears. She felt terrible, but she knew she deserved to feel much worse after what she'd done. "I didn't mean it. I shouldn't have... said those awful things..." She covered her face, shoulders shaking. "He looked so sad."

Auron was pretty sure now he knew what had happened. Stepping forward he demanded, "Where did Tidus go?"

But all the summoner could do was shake her head. "I don't know. He ran off... Sir Auron, please... please try and find him."

Auron grunted and turned on his heel after sharing a brief, worried look with Lulu. This was bad. Tidus could send himself into a state of depression if someone just looked at him wrong. If Yuna, someone he deeply cared for and cherished, actually said something to him, something that would make her cry in regret... this was very, very bad.

Tracking the boy's movements wasn't hard. Even in the dark, it only took a minute before Auron found his trail. He seemed to have followed the road leading to Macalania Temple, though Auron doubted it was on purpose. From the spread and layout of his footprints, it looked like he had just picked a direction and ran. And that in itself was the main problem. The boy had been running, at what seemed to be top speed. A speed Auron could never hope in a million years to ever match, let alone overtake. In short, if Tidus, a fit, in shape blitzball player, had run away from the inn, Auron had no hope of catching him. He may be stronger than the boy, but in speed and energy he lost hands down. The best he could do was follow and eventually reach him... assuming the boy would stop long enough to let him catch up. He needed to discuss this with the others before he made anymore moves.

With a very tired sigh, he shut his eyes momentarily to compose himself. The damn brat had better be okay.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Yuna wasn't sure she had ever felt worse in her life. Sure she'd felt bad before. For instance, when her father had died she'd felt horrible, even though she'd known it was going to happen. But that was a different kind of feeling entirely. When that happened she felt sad, a little empty and alone. A little scared, now that both of her parents were gone, angry that she'd never be able to see her father again, yet proud of what he'd sacrificed himself for. But all of those feelings couldn't compare to this. Because now she felt guilty; and there wasn't a feeling in the world that could compare to real guilt. The way it hollowed you out inside, the way it physically made your stomach hurt. No other feeling was quite like it, and it was the first time she'd ever really experienced it. Sure she'd felt bad before, accidentally broke something, wasn't quite as polite as she should have been... but never before had it hit her like this. Never before had it completely crushed her. Because never before had she ever purposely hurt someone the way she just had Tidus. And she couldn't hate herself more for it.

In truth, she didn't really care that Tidus was gay. Yes, she was shocked. Yes, she was confused because she'd been brought up with the belief that homosexuals were bad people. Yes, it made her a little uncomfortable for that very reason. And maybe if it had been someone else she wouldn't be able to accept it... but for Tidus she was willing to overlook her misgivings, ignore any doubts and fears she had. Because she loved Tidus, plain and simple. And that was the problem. The problem was never really that Tidus was gay, it was that he could never be with her, no matter how improbable it was in the first place. And that had really hurt. More than she'd expected.

She thought she could control her emotions, no matter how hurt or angry she was. But then he'd come into her room, just minutes after Rikku had crushed any hopes she had, and she found she couldn't control herself like normal. She wanted to yell at him for rejecting her, even if he'd never directly done so. She wanted to demand why she wasn't good enough, why he'd rather be with someone of his own gender than her. But when she went to say this, she found her voice stuck in her throat. She couldn't admit her feelings to him out loud, not now that she knew they would never be returned. And unable to get rid of her anger, she lashed out with whatever she could, turned her anger of rejection onto the easiest target. His homosexuality. Because honestly it did bother her; but not the way she'd made it out to. Not to that degree. Because even though after years of strict religious upbringing, the very thought of it made her shudder, more powerful were her memories with him. More important were all the times he'd been there for her, cheered her up, comforted her, gave her the strength she needed. His love for her, even if it wasn't the same type of love she had for him. So it didn't matter if it made her uncomfortable, she would work on becoming comfortable with it for him. She just wanted Tidus back.

She looked up quickly when Auron came back into the room, eyes searching desperately for a sign the blond was with him. Her heart sank when they saw none.

"You couldn't find him?" Lulu asked softly.

The big man cleared his throat harshly before shaking his head a bit. He surveyed the scene in the room to find it pretty much as he'd left it. Yuna had managed to stop crying now but was still in the same spot on the floor, Lulu was rubbing her back to comfort her, Rikku stood off to the side looking angry, Kimahri stood silently next to her, and Wakka had made his way over at some point, looking still half-asleep and unaware of what was happening around him. "I found his trail. He's actually headed toward Macalania Temple. He was running, so I would imagine he'll reach it in no time."

Upon hearing this, Rikku leapt into the center of the room, desperately looking around at the others. "Well, what are we waiting for? We know where he's going, and it's not even out of the way. Let's go!"

Yuna perked up at this thought, quickly catching onto her cousin's enthusiasm, but Lulu shook her head firmly. "No. It's dangerous to travel that trail in the dark."

Both girls shared a look of understanding followed quickly by one of horror. "Dangerous... but Tidus is on that trail in the dark!" Rikku wailed, now very worried for her friend. "Doesn't that mean he's in danger?"

Lulu frowned and looked away. "Yes."

"But then--"

"Please," Yuna interrupted, ignoring the surprised look Rikku shot her. "Please, we have to find him. He's out there alone because I... and I have to... have to say I'm sorry..." The brunette buried her face in her hands once again, unable to say anymore. This was all her fault. Because she had taken her anger out on him, because she had said awful things she didn't even mean... "He must hate me now."

Auron watched tears return to the girl's eyes and sighed. Seemed he'd been doing that a lot lately. Stepping up to the summoner he put on his most comforting voice and said, "He doesn't hate you."

Yuna hiccuped a few times, shaking her head. "No, you don't understand... What I said to him... the look on his face..." What had she done?

"He doesn't hate you," the warrior repeated more firmly. When the girl looked up at him, eyes red from crying, he knelt down in front of her, trying his best to explain. "Tidus could never hate you. He... he adores you. He ran away because he thinks you hate him."

But the girl wasn't convinced. At all. She continued to shake her head, kept repeating that he would hate her, that she was sorry. Auron wanted to scream. Why didn't children just listen when they were told something? He knew what he was talking about dammit! "I know what I'm talking about. I've lived with him for ten years. He doesn't hate you."

When she still looked skeptical, he growled unconsciously and formed his hands into fists. Why the hell did he have to talk so much tonight? First with Lulu, now explaining the inner workings of a brat's mind to his summoner. Was there a full moon? "Look, you probably think Tidus is some cocky playboy who's always so sure of himself and never worries about what others think. Right?"

At her nod he nearly smiled. The boy really did pull off that character well. "He's not. Well, sometimes he is, when he's in a good mood, but he's actually a lot more self-conscious than you realize. He takes what other people say to him very seriously. So if you said something... mean... to him, he would think you were the one who hated him. He probably... believes whatever you said is true. He might hate himself. But I can guarantee that he will never hate you."

Yuna looked both shocked and horrified now. She opened and closed her mouth several times before finally blurting, "But I didn't mean what I said! Really, I didn't! I'd rather he hate me than... than..."

"Blame himself?"

"Yes!"

Auron chuckled wryly, but there was absolutely no humor in the sound. "I know. Trust me." He started to stand when the girl asked softly, "Sir Auron... are you angry with me? For what I did?"

The question made him freeze and he slowly squatted again. Was he angry at her? "I'm not happy with the situation. But everyone makes mistakes, and you've realized yours. I'm not angry." _At least not with you._

On the other hand, he could now add this to the list of reasons for why he should have taken care of Tidus' problems forever ago. It was bad enough he withdrew himself when he imagined someone might be mad at him, but when someone really was upset with him (or at least thought they were, as in Yuna's case), he just took off. Into a dangerous forest. Alone. As the big man patted Yuna's head briefly, he cursed himself once more. If anyone was to blame, it was him.

He noticed Lulu watching him carefully and gave her a small nod, letting her know he'd be all right. "We should rest. We'll leave at first light and continue towards Macalania Temple. Hopefully we can meet up with Tidus there. If not... we'll make that decision when the time comes."

His heart clenched a bit at these words. Ah yes, that decision. If they left for the temple at sunrise, generally around six in the morning during that time of year, they should reach it sometime around noon. Tidus, running the way he had been, would cut that time in half, so he'd reach it sometime that night easily... assuming he didn't run into trouble... Hopefully, he'd reach it sometime that night... The problem was that he could reach it, have more than enough time to rest, and then continue on, long before the party could reach him. Hell, when he realized he'd run to the exact place they were headed, he'd probably be out of there faster than you could spit. After all, he would most likely do anything he could to avoid seeing Yuna now.

And that posed the very real possibility that they could be faced with a difficult decision indeed... What would they do if Tidus had already left the temple and headed in a different direction than the pilgrimage would take them?

Of course Auron wanted to say fuck everything else and chase after the boy who was not only his charge but the person he loved. Logically, though, he knew he should stay with Yuna. She was a summoner, the child of his other good friend, and the person he'd sworn to protect as a guardian. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't just leave her for personal reasons... no matter what they were. If he could, he would have already continued following the boy's trail, danger or not. He was a hardened warrior, he could travel a path in the dark and fight off any fiends that attacked. It was because the rest of the party couldn't that he was forced to wait until morning. Because he couldn't leave them after swearing an oath of protection. His only hope was that if Tidus was already gone by the time they reached the temple tomorrow, Yuna would choose to delay her pilgrimage in favor of chasing after him... but Auron honestly didn't know how good the chances of that were. As important to Yuna as Tidus was, he wasn't sure anything took higher preference than her pilgrimage.

Going into his own room, which he now had to himself, he shut the door and immediately slunk back against it, feeling boneless. _Dammit, brat,_ he thought, squeezing his eyes shut tight, _you had better be safe._

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Tidus looked at the man next to him warily, debating whether his luck was good or bad for running into him. He was familiar, and he could tell the boy who wasn't native to Spira where he was; but... he was such a creeper.

"My my, it certainly is a surprise to see you out here... and all alone."

The teen flinched involuntarily as a large hand fell onto his head and rather long fingernails began stroking through his blond locks, making him shiver in an unpleasant way.

* * *

I kinda, sorta left that with another cliffhanger, didn't I? Sorry, I really didn't mean to... oh well, guess you'll just have to wait until next chapter. I want to apologize again for how incredibly long this took. I spent a few days in Florida visiting family... god, it's hot down there. And then I spent an _entire day_ in airports because of flight delays. Seriously, an _entire day_ to get from Tampa to Pittsburgh. They aren't that far apart! And then when I got back, problems with college loans _again_... ugh, real life sucks. So anyway, please accept my humble apologies. I really will try to get the next chapter out quickly.

Thank you so much for the reviews last chapter! Only one person said Yuna seemed OOC and they were nice about it and still enjoyed the story, so... that made me really happy. I hope this chapter clears up what Yuna was thinking a little better. She really does feel bad... Now my all-star list!

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The more you review the quicker we find out what happens to Tidus! Don't leave him alone with the creeper too long!


	13. Red vs Blue

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Yeah, pretty much all of you figured out or at least suspected the creeper was Seymour. Good job.

I can't believe how fast I got this one done. I actually wrote the first three paragraphs, got stuck and left it, then came back a day later and wrote the whole thing in one sitting (something very rare for me and my short attention span.) But I'm very proud of this chapter for both how fast it got written and how I just think it turned out well. So please read and enjoy.

Warnings: Language, Boy's Love

* * *

**Chapter 13: Red vs. Blue**

The teen flinched involuntarily as a large hand fell onto his head and rather long fingernails began stroking through his blond locks, making him shiver in an unpleasant way. Why was this man touching him? He'd better start keeping his unnaturally cold paws to himself, or Tidus would make sure he never touched anyone else ever again.

His thoughts must have shown on his face, because after one last languid stroke, Seymour pulled his hand away and let it fall harmlessly to his side. "I am sorry. It's just that your hair looked so soft..."

_Creeper_. No wonder his hair looked soft to him, Seymour's hair looked stiff and hard... was that normal human hair? And if it was, how the hell did it stay like that? Was that natural? "Where are we going again? I really need to get back." He had decided that going back and explaining everything to his former caretaker would definitely be the best course of action. He really didn't want Auron worrying about him. Or getting angry at him. Or both. Yeah, probably both.

"Oh, you can't travel that path at night. It's not safe."

Not safe? He'd traveled it to get here just fine. "But--"

"Not to worry. Lady Yuna and the others are due to arrive here tomorrow of their own accord. You can meet up with them then."

He smiled at the boy in what was maybe meant to be a friendly manner, but it gave Tidus chills. He really didn't like this man. "You're sure they're coming this way?"

"Of course. Macalania Temple is just up ahead... Didn't you come here for that purpose?"

"Purpose?"

"I thought you were accidentally separated and came here to meet them once more... Is that not the reason you are here by yourself?"

Tidus was about to answer no, but Seymour looked way too interested on this topic and he didn't know why. Time to lie. "Oh, yeah, of course. I just didn't realize... I'm not familiar with this place, after all."

"Oh?" Seymour stopped walking and gave him this odd little smirk. "Not familiar you say?"

Immediately Tidus felt like a mouse after being caught and now played with by a fat Seymour cat. There was something in that smile... like he knew something and was taking great joy in teasing Tidus about it. "Yeah, I've never been here... y'know, to this part of Spira."

"Ah, of course." The smirk widened again. "What part of Spira are you from again?"

Tidus' stomach jolted rather uncomfortably. That's why Seymour seemed to be teasing him, he was. But that was impossible. How could he possibly know Tidus wasn't really from Spira? Who would ever guess something like that? It didn't matter, he'd asked a question and Tidus had to answer. Go with the usual cover story. "I really don't know. I got too close to Sin's toxin and it messed with my head. I can't remember where exactly I'm from." It was getting easier and easier to lie about his origins.

Seymour just continued smiling. "But if you can't remember, then how do you know you're not from around here?"

Arrogant jerk. How was he supposed to answer that? Was it even a real question?

"Still it is curious," the maester continued, fully aware of how he was making the boy feel. "Normally when someone is disturbed by Sin's toxin, the effect wears off within a few days at most. And you say you still can't remember a thing?"

Okay, definitely time to change the subject. "So, the temple's just up ahead?"

The half-Guado chuckled a bit at the teen's tactics. "Yes. Just at the end of this trail."

"Is there an inn or something I can stay at?" Tidus asked, hoping he wouldn't have to sleep outside. It was cold, and he didn't have a tent or even a blanket on him. Before, if he'd really gotten cold, Auron would let him borrow his coat until he warmed up. After all, the man produced heat like a furnace... He immediately pushed these thoughts from his mind, not wanting to think about Auron's body at the moment. It could only lead to distraction.

"Oh, there's no need for that. You are my guest and are more than welcome to stay in the temple walls. Besides, you _are_ a guardian, are you not?"

Tidus felt a little like Seymour had cut his chest open, pulled out his heart, and poured salt over it. He _had been _a guardian. Past tense. Now he was an unwanted, gay slut, who had disturbed an angel and quite possibly made her dirty with his existence. Leave it to Seymour to remind him of that. "Guardian... right..." A random thought suddenly hit him, and he grasped at it, wanting to forget his current situation with his friends. "Hey, what were you doing out here anyway?"

"Hm? I often take walks at night. It soothes me."

The blond couldn't help but frown. It wasn't because of what Seymour said, Auron had given a similar explanation when he'd asked him the same question years ago. If it didn't bother him when Auron did it, why was he so bothered now? What exactly was it about this man that was so off-putting to him? He was full of himself, he was a prick, he could be really creepy... but none of that was the problem. There was something else, something Tidus couldn't quite wrap his head around, and yet he knew that something was very, very important... It was dancing just at the edge of his mind, taunting him at his inability to see it clearly.

"Here we are."

Tidus blinked stupidly, surprised at suddenly finding himself standing in front of a pair of large temple doors. This was why he didn't normally let his mind wander, he couldn't think deeply and observe his surroundings at the same time. This generally lead to him not thinking much.

He followed Seymour inside, where the older man sent two Yevonite-somethings scurrying to prepare a room for him. He vaguely thought it must be nice to be a maester, what with the free maid service and all.

"Are you hungry, Tidus?"

"Huh?" _Hungry_, his mind told him in a patient voice. _That feeling of needing to consume nourishment of some form. _Oh, right. "No no, I'm fine. I ate not long ago..." He was too uneasy to eat right now, his stomach doing flips, and he didn't even know why. He really just wanted to sleep. The sooner he went to bed, the sooner it would be tomorrow and Auron would get there. Then he could talk to the older man and be on his way... wherever that way lead him.

Seymour nodded understandingly, and gave him a smile. Not the smirk from earlier when he was playing with him, a real smile. A charming one. And Tidus felt himself relax noticeably just from the small gesture. Maybe this guy wasn't really that bad. He still didn't trust nor like him, but maybe he was at least tolerable...

"At least join me for a drink before you retire. It is rare that I have guests, and even rarer for them to be so close to my own age. I don't get the chance to socialize often I'm afraid. Please allow me to enjoy this opportunity."

That peeked Tidus' interest. Having a drink wouldn't be so bad, it would help calm his nerves. Besides, the guy was letting him stay for the night, he should at least be polite, right? "Yeah, sure, why not... Actually, how old are you?" he asked, following the maester off into a sitting room of sorts.

"I recently reached my twenty-second year."

"Twenty-two, huh?" Tidus sat heavily on one of the cushions surrounding a low table in the center of the room, a small frown marring his pretty face. "Dennick would be twenty-two right now," he said to himself softly. "His birthday was last week..."

"I'm sorry?"

Tidus jumped, having completely forgotten for a moment where he was and that he wasn't alone. Forcing a cheerful smile, he waved his hand absently. "Nothing, just thinking out loud." He shoved all thoughts of Dennick and his home to the back of his mind with what had become practiced ease. Just another reason for him to drink.

The other man gave him another kind smile, lowering himself onto a cushion across the table. He set down two shot glasses, pouring amber liquid from a delicate-looking glass bottle into them and handing one to the blond. "Here. This is a special Guado liquor. But I must warn you, it is very strong. Since you are human, you shouldn't drink too much."

Tidus nodded absently, barely registering the warning. He had drunk so much alcohol in just the past two years he doubted anything could really knock him out. He downed the shot without a second thought as Seymour did the same, surprised at how smoothly it went down. There wasn't even the usual burn that hard alcohol had. And it left a somewhat earthy after taste, not good but not really bad either. Was this stuff really alcoholic?

He savored the unique taste left in his mouth, running his tongue along teeth and cheeks to soak it up. Definitely a bland earthy flavor. Whatever, it was something new, and never let it be said that Tidus didn't enjoy trying new things. He pushed his glass back over to Seymour with a happy little grin and a, "Not bad." He waited patiently for his glass to be refilled, but Seymour made no move to do so. After a moment, the maester seemed to realize what he wanted a laughed lightly. "No, you won't be needing anymore."

Tidus blinked at him stupidly, surprised by the statement. Did this man really think one shot of something that had so little alcohol (he assumed) it went down as easy as water would affect him in the slightest? He was about to voice this out loud, when he found he couldn't make the words properly. Because whatever had been in that drink suddenly hit him with the force of a herd of stampeding chocobos, and he was now finding it difficult to see. Shit, apparently he had been a little too cocky on this one.

Seymour couldn't suppress his chuckle as the boy swayed slightly just from the effort of sitting up. "I told you you would not need more. This liquor is originally intended for the Guado, who have a much higher tolerance for alcohol than humans do. It is second only to the ale produced by the Ronso. If you had been someone smaller and less accustomed to drink, like Lady Yuna for instance, I would be hesitant to let you try it at all."

Tidus took this all in with a nod, the world seeming far away and fuzzy. He was sure there was something besides just regular alcohol in that drink. He had been wasted to the point of passing out before, but the only times he'd felt like this was when he had smoked something and drank together. Pretty much, whatever was in that Guado drink caused you to become not only drunk but high as well. And that left you with a very detached feeling, like everything around you was no more than a dream.

"S'good," the boy said sincerely, enjoying the sensation that he was floating immensely. He narrowed bleary eyes at the older man and said, "What about you? You're half human and half..." His mind completely blanked on the recently learned word.

"Guado," Seymour supplied with an amused smile.

"Yeah, half Guado," the boy agreed, nodding sagely. "So if you're half of both, does this stuff affect you?"

"Yes and no. It affects me more than a Guado and less than a human. To answer what you are truly asking I am a bit..." He paused, pondering his choice of words, before finally settling on, "Tipsy."

For reasons far beyond his comprehension, Tidus found that inanely funny. Something about the thought of a maester being tipsy, and just hearing Seymour use the word. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he started giggling uncontrollably, which made it seem even more like he was floating in space rather than sitting around a table. When he finally got himself under control, he focused on the blue-haired man across from him. It really felt like this was all in his mind and none of it was real. That he was sleeping and would wake up to find himself still sitting by that massive sheet of ice Seymour had originally found him by. He knew in some part of his mind that this wasn't possible, but Seymour just seemed so... "Far away."

The older man raised his eyebrows a bit, confused. "What?"

"You're so far away," Tidus repeated, words coming out thick and heavy, like molasses. "Are you really here?" He had to restrain himself from reaching out and touching the half-Guado, not wanting to seem like a complete moron.

"I'm here," Seymour assured him with a kind smile. "Would you like me to come closer?"

Tidus shut his eyes, the action making him lurch forward a bit, though he wasn't aware of it. "Yeah..."

The maester obliged him, getting up and moving round the table to sit next to him. In his suddenly desperate need for human contact, Tidus snuggled up to his side, burying his face into the larger man's shoulder. Sighing contentedly, he thought of how comfortable it was and how good Seymour smelled, causing him to inhale deeply. Only when he did this did his drunken brain seem to register the situation. "I'm sorry!"

Quickly, he began to pull away from what had to be unwanted closeness on the part of the older man. He didn't get far before two strong arms wrapped around him, trapping him in place. "It's quite all right," the man assured him gently, and he couldn't help but burrow into that shoulder again. It felt so good.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, forcing his brain to work at least a little. "I'm just really lonely tonight." Even as far gone as he was, he knew he sounded like a stupid teenage girl who'd just been dumped, but he couldn't help himself. He really didn't want to be left alone.

"Lonely? You mean without Lady Yuna?"

"Mm." Tidus moved a bit so he wasn't putting so much weight on his ankle. "She's my angel. I want to stay with her and the others. My friends. But she doesn't want me anymore."

"Oh?" Seymour shifted the boy around so he was sideways across the maester's lap. He fit there so nicely. "Why wouldn't she want you?"

If Tidus hadn't been drunk or high or whatever that Guado stuff made him, he would have never even considered seriously answering that question. Hell, he never would have said enough to get to that question in the first place. But as it was, all he could really think about was how safe he felt in Seymour's arms. The only person this big, this powerful that had ever held him was Auron, and that was extremely rare. And when Auron held him it was warm, like being wrapped in a blanket, one that smelled predominantly of sword polish and something spicy. With Seymour, it was the complete opposite. The embrace was cool, but not unpleasantly so. More like a soft winter breeze, one that smelled very much like vanilla and flowers. So different from Auron... different but nice. And he let himself be taken over by this new feeling, all precautions falling away. "She said I was dirty. Because I'm gay."

Seymour's breath caught in his throat, and he felt himself stiffen just a little. "Really?"

"Yeah." His brow furrowed hard in concentration as he fought to make himself form the words he wanted to say. "She's right, I am dirty... but I don't think it's 'cuz I'm gay. I know lotssa gay people, and they're not dirty..." He dropped his head dejectedly, looking genuinely sad. "But you're a Yevon-... Yevon-... you follow Yevon. So you probably think gay people are dirty too."

"Not true." The half-Guado started gently combing his nails through the incredibly soft blond locks. So soft... "I myself prefer those of my own gender to those of the opposite. Though I can go either way."

Tidus blinked. Took a deep breath. And blinked again. Had a maester of Yevon just told him he was bi and preferred men? Or had that stuff started to make him hallucinate now?

"You seem surprised."

_Just a little_. "Well, Yevon's against being gay, so..."

"Ah, yes, of course. And to someone like Lady Yuna that would be a very serious thing... I, however, rarely pay attention to such things."

The teen didn't feel the need to answer that, but in some odd way it made perfect sense to him. A lot like how back at operation Mi'hen Seymour, a big-shot Yevonite, had sanctioned the use of forbidden machina while Wakka, a mere lowly follower of the religion, had completely freaked out about it. It was like the higher up the chain you went, the more the rules were ignored. It was incredibly hypocritical, make no mistake, but in a twisted way it still made sense.

Seymour continued to stroke the hair. "Does that bother you, lovely?"

"No." Tidus found himself leaning into the touch, quite a bit different from earlier when he'd been ready to rip the man's arm off. But before Seymour had been in a mix of his creepy/condescending modes. Now he was in his caring/charming one. The whole atmosphere felt different from then. Besides, it felt good.

"I'm very glad. I would never want to do something that would disturb you."

The boy vaguely thought that wasn't entirely true, considering the way Seymour had enjoyed teasing him earlier. Then again, there was a big difference between teasing and actually disturbing someone. The older man really had only been playing with him before.

A shiver suddenly stole down his back at the maester's ministrations. When had his touch turned so... sensual? And why was Tidus responding to it so well? With the exception of Auron (no shit), he hadn't responded to anyone like this in a while, not since...

"What's the matter, lovely? Am I making you uncomfortable?" The hand left his head and stroked softly down his cheek, the touch so light he barely felt it.

He shook his head in response. That was the problem, he was too comfortable. It wasn't like Seymour was just trying to fuck him or something, that he would be fine with. This was entirely different. This was being done _lovingly_ and he was actually okay with it. The fact that he wasn't uncomfortable made him uncomfortable. Or maybe it's because he was drunk? At least that's what he wanted to believe.

The world tilted and spun for a moment as Seymour gently laid him down on the soft cushions, leaning over him while his hand still stroked his face. "So beautiful," he breathed, the hand making a slow descent down his neck and over his exposed chest, violet/blue eyes following its path. "So precious."

Tidus stared up at him through glassy eyes. Was this really happening? Now more than ever this felt like a dream, like he wasn't truly there. He watched mutely as Seymour leaned down, pressing lips lightly to his temple then cheek. The lips were cold, like ice, but again not in a bad way. He could only lay still as the lips came down to cover his own, massaged against his in the most pleasant way. Before he could even think about it, he was responding in kind to the soft kiss. Kiss... kissing... no kissing!

He attempted to pull back from the older man, but laying on the ground that was impossible. Instead his hands flew up to the surprisingly strong chest, and he pushed gently, whimpering slightly as he did so. He was immediately released, Seymour looking down at him with genuine concern. "What's wrong, lovely?"

The boy's mind chose then to just about blank out on him. Damn alcohol. After blinking repeatedly to make sure he stayed coherent he finally managed to get out, "No kissing."

This made the half-Guado frown, completely perplexed. "Why?" The hand stroked through his hair again, watching the way the light made it shine. "I know you were enjoying it."

Tidus wanted to launch into a speech regarding his innermost feelings, but all he got out was again, "No kissing. Touching's fine... anything's fine. But no kissing."

Seymour seemed to realize then he wasn't being completely rejected, but the frown never left. If anything this statement only confused him more. "I don't understand, lovely. Why can't I kiss you?"

"Love." Tidus pressed his palms to his eyes, wishing he could string his thoughts together better. "I only want to kiss someone I love. Sex... I sleep with a lot of people... I'm a whore... So kissing... want it to be special." Seymour's expression changed from confusion to one he couldn't place. Not surprise, not amusement. He didn't know what it was. "S'stupid, I know... I just..." He didn't know what else to say.

"It's not stupid," the older man reassured him, planting a kiss to his forehead. "I just wish I could kiss you, because you're _my_ angel."

The way he said 'my', Tidus knew he was referring to when he'd called Yuna his angel earlier. But he called Yuna his angel because she was like an angel. She was selfless and caring, sweet and nurturing, always ready to put others before herself. She was perfect. And he... "I'm not an angel. I'm not even a good person." And that somehow opened the floodgates. He drunkenly poured out all the horrible things about him, his voice gaining strength as he went on, his insults towards himself getting more malicious the more he spoke, until finally he was practically yelling about how much he hated himself.

"Shh, stop." A finger covered his lips, gorgeous eyes looked sadly down at him. "Stop. I don't want to ever hear you speak of yourself in that manner again."

Tidus shuddered under the intense stare and tried to look away. He couldn't meet those eyes.

"I don't see you that way at all." The man paused for a moment before saying honestly, "I don't think anyone but you sees you that way." And he proceeded to tell Tidus just how he did see him. He was honest to a fault, pointing out Tidus' flaws (the real ones), but mostly focusing on what he liked about the boy. And considering he didn't know Tidus all that well, there was quite a lot he liked. From his appearance, to his cheerful personality, to his drive to protect to his friends, the list went on and on. Tidus listened to all of this in his hazy stupor, telling himself over and over that this was definitely real. That this man really thought this about him. This person truly looked at him as if he were some kind of perfect being, an angel. And something inside Tidus warmed and spilled over.

Before he knew what he was doing, the blond had grabbed Seymour forcefully by the front of his robes and dragged him down to smash their lips together in a searing kiss. He didn't know why he was kissing the man, didn't know why it felt perfectly all right. He didn't love the older man, didn't think it was possible to truly love someone you'd only just had a decent conversation for the first time with, but he liked him. He liked him in a way he felt could turn into love given time. There were still plenty of things he couldn't stand about the man, but that was normal wasn't it? He didn't know a couple who liked absolutely everything about each other. A couple... did he see himself possibly being a couple with Seymour? And after all this had run through his head, he came to terms with what the simplest explanation for his feelings were. Tidus had a crush on the maester. And if he wasn't mistaken, Seymour felt very much the same way. It may not have been love, but it was definite affection on both sides. And it was enough to let Seymour kiss him.

Seymour, after getting over his shock, took control of the kiss from the drunken boy beneath him, slowing it down but keeping it just as passionate. He took his time, offering soft caresses over the boy's body, gradually slipping his tongue into the inviting cavern of his mouth. The teen tasted absolutely delicious, something citrussy, like oranges. And his skin was so soft, so delicate. However did he keep it this way during all his traveling and fighting as a guardian? It was just like a girl's.

Not that Seymour would ever mistake the gorgeous blond under him for a girl, and as his hand ran over a distinctive bulge he was reminded of this sharply. Slowly pulling away from the boy, he smiled and said rather smugly, "What's this? Are you hard for me, lovely?"

Tidus felt himself blush, knowing the man was teasing him again.

"I'm happy to see that," he continued, planting kisses up and down the boy's neck as he spoke. "I'm pleased I'm not the only one enjoying this."

It took a moment longer than usual due to the alcohol for his statement to register in the boy's mind, but when he did he shot the man a questioning look. Willing his own hands to life, he wrapped one into the half-Guado's hair (which had the oddest texture), and allowed the other to slide seductively down the front of the man's chest and continue on to... Tidus froze. There was no way that was... He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, doing his best to clear the haze, before wrapping fingers around the very specific length he felt beneath the robes... How was that possible?

Seymour watched Tidus' reaction, not bothering to hide his obvious amusement. With a chuckle, he pecked the other's lips before saying in mock confusion, "What's the matter, lovely? You seem distraught."

"I... no..." Tidus felt his face heat up in embarrassment. He had to be either imagining this or really drunk, right? And how did you explain to the person currently laying on top of you in an intimate position that you were mistaking the size of him? Because there was no way that it was really... Seymour chuckled again as he parted the front of his robes and watched as Tidus' eyes grew impossibly wide. Because impossible was the key word.

"Holy shit," Tidus whispered, staring stupidly at the erect organ hovering above him.

"Do I please you, lovely?" and the boy wasn't sure if this particular question was teasing or not. Regardless, he found he couldn't answer in words and just continued to stare. He had thought Auron was big, but... Seymour was as long as Auron and so thick. He'd never seen anyone this size. "How...?"

Seymour's smile widened. "A perk of being half-Guado."

Tidus could have kicked himself then for his stupidity. How could he forget the maester wasn't entirely human. Admittedly the body part in question _looked _completely human, but for all he knew humans and Guado were identical in that part of their anatomy. And whether they were or not, Seymour seemed to have gotten his size from his Guado genes. Tidus was pretty sure it was physically impossible for a human to be that large.

Feeling suddenly shy in a way he hadn't felt in years, Tidus reached a tentative hand forward, wrapping his fingers around the beyond impressive girth, not surprised when, like every other part of the maester, it was cool to the touch. He watched as Seymour's breath hitched, and those violet eyes lit up with unmistakable lust, his voice whispering, "You're so warm," almost offhandedly. Tidus pumped the massive erection slowly, watching the different expressions play out over the older man's face. This would be good for him, he reasoned as his groping got more frantic and Seymour undid the clasps of his shorts. He needed this. To sleep with someone not just for the act itself, but when actual emotions were involved. And he knew they were. He could feel the difference between a partner who just wanted a quick fuck and one who truly wanted to be with him. It had been so long since he'd slept with someone who wanted _him_.

Seymour was touching him as well now, and he felt his excitement levels skyrocket. Yes, this would be so good. The older man leaned closer to his ear, whispering harshly, "I can't hold back. Let me have you, Tidus."

And Tidus wanted to let him. Dear Yevon, he wanted to. But something was wrong. Something was very wrong, and he didn't know what it was... Seymour sensed his hesitation and pulled back a bit, looking concerned again. "What is it?"

The blond opened his mouth to answer, but just ended up shaking his head. He couldn't answer when he didn't even know himself. Desperately, his mind flew through the possibilities. Was it Seymour's looks?

Immediately, that one was thrown out. His looks weren't the problem, far from it. He may have been unique-looking, what being a Guado/human hybrid and all, but he was still undeniably good looking. His face was downright perfect, the blue vein-like markings somehow working for him rather than against him. His body was mostly human, the only Guado features being the markings on his chest and the small roundness of his stomach. Maybe some people would have been bothered by it, but Tidus found the lump cute in a way. And then, of course, his impressive male accessory, sitting proudly underneath a thatch of blue curls, only gave him bonus points. No, there wasn't a thing wrong with his looks.

What else was there? Was he worried that aforementioned male part wouldn't fit? He dismissed that idea as soon as it came. Not only would it fit just fine if he was properly prepared, but worst case scenario, he'd tear. Big deal, he'd torn so many times he'd lost count. He would randomly wonder how he still had an intact hole sometimes. Pain, at least in that area, didn't ever scare him.

So then what was wrong? The fact he was technically engaged to Yuna? That one was negative too. He was just about positive Seymour didn't feel a thing for Yuna, just as she felt nothing for him, though Tidus did want to have a conversation about that later. But even if they got married, he highly doubted they'd ever touch each other in an intimate way, if they even bothered to see much of each other. So he didn't feel like he was harming Yuna in any way by sleeping with Seymour. So then what?

And then it smacked him in the face. That feeling. The one that had distracted him so thoroughly earlier. The one that made him feel as though there was something very bad, something dangerous about Seymour, even if he couldn't comprehend yet what that something was. And he felt ridiculous, turning down the man he liked for a stupid feeling he couldn't even describe. But that feeling was just so damn strong. It grabbed hold of him and sucked him in, screaming at him not to make the mistake of sleeping with this man, that he'd regret it. And though it seemed ridiculous, Tidus had always had good instincts, and he'd learned to trust them. After all, he knew he wasn't the smartest guy around, he had to have something going for him. But now how did he explain to Seymour he didn't want to have sex?

Seymour stared down at him, watching carefully as though he could see his dilemma. Tidus took note of how attentive the older man was being to him, and it just made him feel even worse. He had lead him on so much, had been the first to really touch the other, gone along with everything Seymour started. And now he was going to suddenly reject him with no excuse? He felt horrible about it. And since he was still incredibly drunk, tears sprang up to his eyes in accordance with his guilt. He scrubbed an arm across them irritably, breathing hard. "M'sorry."

If he hadn't been so distraught by everything, he would have been amused at the look of near panic that crossed Seymour's face. "What's the matter, lovely?" he asked hastily, cupping the boy's face tenderly. "Please don't cry."

"But... I... I just..." Tidus proceeded to try and sputter out an apology. It didn't make a lot of sense. Finally he ended with, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on."

Seymour immediately hushed him. "Don't be silly. If you're not ready yet, I'll wait."

Tidus just blinked stupidly at him. Wait? "I feel bad. I've never refused someone before," he admitted, looking away guiltily.

The older man took his chin, forcing his gaze back to his own. "Then I'm honored to be your first."

Tidus couldn't stop the blush that spread over his cheeks at the sweet words. Seymour was being so nice about all of this, and he felt himself choke up a bit. He didn't deserve this.

"Please allow me to take care of our mutual problem," Seymour said seductively, rubbing his erection against Tidus' own. He continued to create a delicious friction, Tidus' breaths almost instantly become short, quick gasps. He groaned as he felt one large, cool hand wrap around both members and pump along with the movement. So good...

After a minute, the hand lost its grip, and Tidus felt Seymour's weight leave him. He opened his eyes to see the older man lay down next to him and turn him on his side, pulling his back flush against his broad chest. What was...?

"Close your legs, lovely," the maester panted harshly, sounding very much like he was nearing his end. Tidus, realizing now what he was doing, obeyed and felt a jolt of pleasure when that incredibly thick erection was pushed between his thighs, coming to meet his own, rubbing against his balls. As Seymour continued to thrust, simultaneously stroking him with that cool hand again, he was surprised at how amazing this felt without any penetration. And this time he _knew _it wasn't just the alcohol. This felt good, to be pressed against Seymour's larger body, to feel the rapid beating of the maester's heart, to feel the hot breath, the only thing hot about the man, against his skin. It felt right. And when he came to a simultaneous orgasm with the older man, he actually felt for the first time in a very long time that he wasn't confused about anything. That he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

Breathing hard, Tidus felt Seymour move away from him and he rolled on his back, immediately regretting the action. Everything swam violently in front of his eyes and he had to fight hard not to be sick or pass out. Shit, when would he learn? This was exactly what had happened when he'd given Auron the blowjob a little while ago. Heavy drinking and physical activity (sex) didn't go well together. Dammit, now he really just wanted to sleep.

He yelped, startled, when he felt a cool rag, clean him up quickly and his pants pulled back up and reattached for him. "Seymour?" he asked dazedly.

He felt a cool hand rake through his hair. "Yes, lovely?"

"M'tired."

There was chuckle, a light, good natured one, and the older man said softly, "I'm sure you are. Come, I'll put you to bed."

He was lifted and carried to a different room where he was laid down on a huge bed with ridiculously soft silken sheets. He vaguely wondered if it was really all right for him to sleep on something so fine. He felt Seymour pull his shoes off and tuck the blankets around him, like he was a small child, and he couldn't help but think how familiar this all felt. It wasn't just the alcohol, every part of this reminded him of that time with Auron... Auron...

"Seymour," he mumbled, already slipping away, "we need to talk." _About a lot of things_.

"Not now, lovely. Tomorrow, after you've rested. I should not have given you so much to drink."

Tidus nodded, muttered something about seeing him in the morning, and almost immediately fell asleep. The last person he thought about though, wasn't blue and wearing maester's robes. He was cloaked in a very familiar red coat and sunglasses.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

At ten minutes to six the sun had just started to peek over the horizon, forming the slightest bit of light on the ground below. The party of summoner Yuna, already packed up and ready

to go, left immediately upon this illumination, moving quicker than they had yet on their journey. At the front of the party, setting the pace with determination was the legendary guardian Sir Auron. Behind him, the summoner and the rest of her guardians kept up as best they could, no less resolute than he was. No one they passed tried to stop and speak with them, sensing the urgency that enveloped the group. They had to get to Macalania Temple as quickly as they could. They had to find their missing member.

* * *

Bet you didn't see that coming! If anyone's confused about why Tidus' opinion of Seymour keeps jumping all over the place, it's because I wrote Tidus the way I felt while playing the game for the first time. First impression: Huh, that guy's bad news. Second impression: Okay, maybe he's not so bad. Third impression: God, he's so creepy. Fourth impression: Aw, he's kinda sweet. Last impression: Holy shit, he's completely fucking nuts! And so yeah, Tidus is like me and doesn't know what to make of the man exactly. Because Seymour just doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

And is there some point in the game where Seymour is actually told Tidus is from Zanarkand. I remember it very well, but I haven't played in a while. All I remember is him showing up on Mt. Gagazet and suddenly calling Tidus 'son of Jecht.' So sorry if I'm missing anything, but for this fic, let's just say he hasn't been told a thing about Tidus' origins but he's figured it out on his own. Why? Because he's creepy and knows everything.

And now my all-star list:

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Thanks for all the reviews last chapter! I know it seemed like kind of a filler chapter, but I felt it needed to be done. This one really gets the story moving along though, so please let me know what you think thus far!


	14. A Future of Thorns

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

All right, this chapter's finally done. Sorry it took nearly a month to get out, I've been job-hunting. And what a bitch it is. I've also been fending off the craziness of my grandmother who insists I'm getting fat because I weigh a whopping one hundred and ten pounds and no longer look anorexic. But please enjoy and I'll try and get the next one out quickly.

Warnings: Language

* * *

**Chapter 14: A Future of Thorns**

Upon waking, Tidus unconsciously steeled himself for a hangover. After all, the boy had drunk quite a lot in his short life, he knew what to expect after feeling the way he had last night. But to his surprise... there was nothing. No headache, no lingering aches and pains, no nausea. Only a slight drowsiness, the kind you got after you slept too long. That was it. And he vowed that he would do all in his power to get his hands on some of that Guado liquor stuff. Because if it messed you up after just one shot the way it had to him last night and left you with no hangover to speak of... Well, that was just fucking amazing.

With a sigh of relief, he rolled over and sat up, looking around the stylishly decorated room with raised eyebrows. The art on the walls, the luxurious bed, the dark oak furniture. Was this really a guest room? Something told him Seymour had given him a room above the status of a guardian... and he was oddly touched by the gesture. It was just so sweet.

His stomach clenched. Seymour. Romantic gestures. Last night. He had messed around with Seymour last night. He had _kissed_ Seymour last night. He had _felt something_ with Seymour last night, something that went much deeper than physical attraction and lust. Now what was he going to do about it? He knew a crush, even if he hadn't had one in a long time. And he knew why he hadn't had one in a long time. Because his heart was stolen soundly by one and only one person. Because the stoic, red-coated warrior who had been the biggest part of his life over the past ten years took up so much of his thoughts he never spared anyone else a second glance. At least until last night.

He couldn't really compare the feelings he had for Seymour with the ones he had for Auron. He loved Auron, he knew he did. He only liked Seymour. Admittedly, it was the kind of like that had the potential to become love, but it wasn't there yet. So it would seem to make the most sense that when faced with a choice between the two men, he'd choose the one he loved. But that wasn't all there was to the equation. You had to take into account the other person's feelings as well. Tidus knew Seymour liked him, could tell even when he was wasted that the older man genuinely felt something for him. Auron... Auron most likely found him an annoyance. He cared for him in a way, Tidus knew, but not romantically. If anything, what Auron felt for Tidus was probably what one would feel towards a younger brother. Auron would never feel for him the way Seymour did... Maybe it was time to give up watching the person he loved from afar and giving something new, something real, a chance.

The door opened and Seymour stepped in, smiling a bit at the blond. "Ah, you're awake." He crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking Tidus over almost curiously. "Lady Yuna should be arriving within the hour. Would you join me for breakfast before that?"

Breakfast? Tidus become abruptly aware of just how ravenous he was and nodded eagerly at the maester's offer. "Yeah, that sounds great." And so he found himself in the same room as last night, enjoying a lavish spread of food while Seymour sipped tea across the table from him, watching him so intently it made him a bit nervous. "Um," he said, swallowing a particularly large mouthful of fruit, "can... can we talk?"

"Of course. I knew you had quite a bit to ask me. Though I'd like to start by saying I hope you don't regret our actions last night."

"Regret... no. No no, I don't regret anything. At all." He nodded, almost to himself, as if to reaffirm this. "There's just some stuff I need to know. Like Yuna... you don't really like her, right?"

He chose to ignore the smirk Seymour gave him for that, as if he were a small child who'd said something unbearably cute. "Not at all. I proposed to Lady Yuna for the mutual benefits it would bring us and the joy it would bring to the people of Spira. She is a very nice girl, very pretty, but I'm afraid she is not... my type."

Tidus couldn't stop himself before repeating, "Your type?"

"Yes. She is almost too... delicate. I prefer my flower to have thorns." He gave Tidus a pointed look, letting him know that he had just the thorns the older man wanted. Tidus couldn't help but blush. "Does it bother you that I'm to marry her?"

"No," the boy answered instantly, already having thought that through the night before. Now that his suspicions were confirmed that Seymour felt nothing for his angel, their impending marriage didn't mean a thing. "Just wanted everything to be clear." Besides, it's not like two men could get married in Spira, there was certainly nothing to be jealous about. Hell, two men couldn't even walk down the street holding hands in Spira without being shunned or possibly mobbed. Let Seymour publicly marry whoever he wanted. As long as Tidus was the one he really came home to, that was all that mattered.

Instantly the blond's face turned as red as a cherry. He had just been thinking like Seymour was his. Shit, when the hell had that happened?

"What's the matter, lovely?"

Tidus jumped at being addressed and somehow managed to redden even more. "No, it's nothing... I just... you, you like me, don't you? I'm not... imagining it, right? I mean--"

He stopped when Seymour stood, coming round the table to sit next to him, pulling him so their chests were touching, faces only inches apart. He found he couldn't move, all he could do was watch and let the maester maneuver him however he wanted. The older man leaned in pressing their lips softly together for a few seconds before pulling back again to look him in the eyes. "I like you very much, Tidus. And if Lady Yuna does not wish for you to be her guardian any longer, even if she does, I hope you will stay with me. It would be my honor to keep you."

The wording made it sound a bit like Tidus was a puppy being passed to a new owner, but the blond ignored it, knowing that's just how Seymour's possessive mind worked. He would never let the older man treat him like an object that he could own, but then those were the thorns Seymour liked so much, right? He knew the maester truly cared for and wanted him. But on the off-chance Yuna did want Tidus back... could he really leave her and the others and stay with Seymour?

"Just think about it," the older man whispered, before pressing their lips together again. And Tidus would have agreed if his mouth hadn't been too busy absorbing the amazing taste that was Seymour Guado.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Auron was annoyed. Very annoyed for a number of different reasons. The biggest reason, of course, was that Tidus was Yevon only knows where thinking about doing Yevon only knows what to himself, and Auron wasn't there to stop him. So he was trying to get to him quickly. Then the second reason he was annoyed pops up in the form of another Al Bhed ambush. Because he couldn't reach Tidus quickly if things like meddling Al Bhed kept getting in the way. Then the third reason he was annoyed, was the red-headed blitzball player known as Wakka. Because after Rikku had yelled at her brother in Al Bhed, most likely telling him in some form or another to shove it, the self-righteous bastard had started going off about Yevon this and Yevon that. Like that moron knew a damn thing about Yevon. How dare he start spouting off that bullshit and intentionally hurting Rikku with it. If Auron hadn't been in such a hurry to reach the temple and try and find Tidus, he would have taught him a thing or two about his precious Yevon.

As it was, he was in a big hurry, and snapped at Wakka to shut his mouth before showing where he stood by having Rikku fix the machina that would take them to the temple faster. Wakka had his little temper tantrum and walked instead but whatever. Let him cool off, and if he continued to do things to hurt Rikku... well, he wouldn't be doing so for long. Auron would make sure of that. But right now another blond needed his full attention, so he rode to the temple at full speed, not sure of what he'd find.

Nothing made him happier than pulling up and seeing Tidus standing outside the doors, waiting for their arrival. Rikku hopped off her machina with a cheerful, "Tidus!" and flung herself at the boy, squeezing the breath out of him while scolding him for worrying them all. Tidus pried her off as best he could with an apology and nearly passed out in shock when Lulu also gave him a small hug and reprimand and Kimahri clapped him amicably on the shoulder before stalking off. He apologized once more, said he hadn't been thinking, and asked for their forgiveness. He smiled and laughed like nothing was wrong, but Auron saw his eyes. He saw how troubled they were, like a storm was brewing and just waiting to erupt.

He let the girls have their moment with the blond, taking his time to get to him. When the boy looked up and saw him, a very odd look passed over his face, one the warrior couldn't place. Lulu saw him coming, and, with some difficulty, managed to pull Rikku away. Auron silently thanked her, moving to stand in front of the boy who immediately glanced away, refusing to look him in the eye. Well, that wasn't a good start. He had to let him know he wasn't mad, so he reached out and ruffled the blond hair, trying to make himself smile. "There you are. We've been looking for you."

The boy met his eyes for about a second before looking away quickly, as if the sight was painful. He swallowed thickly and nodded, wringing his hands together in a nervous gesture. "Yeah, sorry."

Auron wanted to curse, this still wasn't going well. Plus the boy looked incredibly lost. Time to take it to the next level and make him talk. "It's cold out here. Let's go inside."

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Tidus' head was a mess. After his short make-out session with Seymour, he'd spent the rest of his time waiting for Yuna thinking over the maester's proposal. Seymour wanted him to stay, regardless of whether or not Yuna wanted him back. Tidus didn't think this would actually be a problem since he didn't really think Yuna would ever want someone dirty like him to be her guardian again. So that would leave him with the options of either wandering off into Spira alone, or staying and giving a relationship with the half-Guado a shot. A no brainer really.

Then the fates just had to go and throw a wrench in his plans, not that he was actually angry about it. He couldn't have felt happier than when Yuna ran up to him, throwing her small arms tight around his neck. She then immediately backed off a few paces, bowing repeatedly and saying over and over again how sorry she was, that she had spoken without thinking, that she didn't really mean any of what she had said. Tidus had watched in shock, immediately taking in her disheveled appearance. She was a mess, signs of crying all too obvious, overcome with fatigue. Had she been that bothered over this? Had his angel really been that upset over him?

She couldn't talk much right then, the Guado were ushering her along already, telling her Seymour was waiting. She bowed a few more times to the blond blitzer before following them, saying they needed to talk more when she got back, that she needed to explain her actions. He just agreed, staring after her in a stupor. Then he'd trotted over to the main doors to wait for the rest of his friends, mind already going a hundred miles an hour. As ecstatic as he was that Yuna didn't hate him, this complicated things. A lot. Because even though she'd never said it in words, it was rather obvious she wanted him to continue with them on her pilgrimage. So now he actually did have a difficult decision to make.

He smiled cheerfully as he was scolded and hugged, touched by the fact that the others had been genuinely worried about him, but his mind was still only half there. Then he caught sight of Auron walking over and felt his heart leap up into his throat. Why was he so damn nervous? It was only Auron. Why did he feel like a child who'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar?

He avoided the older man's eyes like the plague, glad he at least wasn't angry at Tidus for running off. Then, before he he knew what was happening, he found himself alone with Auron in the same room where he'd been alone with Seymour. Twice. This only added to that odd guilty feeling.

Auron watched the boy closely, surreptitiously looking him over for any sign of injury. He seemed all right, it didn't look as if a fiend had ripped him to shreds in his time alone. But why was he still wringing his hands like that, and why wouldn't he look at Auron properly? Something had definitely happened, but the warrior was clueless as to what. And it seemed important. So the best thing to do was try and get the brat to talk, right? "I'm glad you're unharmed."

The blond blinked, as if surprised at being spoken to. "Hm? Oh yeah, I'm all right. Thanks."

He shut up immediately after that, making Auron frown. Not exactly the reaction he'd been hoping for; time to try something else. What had Lulu said about making him talk? Physical contact? He awkwardly spun the boy to face him, letting both hands fall heavily onto the brat's shoulders in an firm grip. There, that was light physical contact, right? It may be more than what Auron usually did, but it could still be taken as platonic. And in this position he could keep the boy from bolting on him. Perfect. Just ignore the incredulous look he was being given.

"I'm glad you waited for us here," Auron said softly, trying to start off the conversation on the right foot. "I thought you might take off before we could reach you."

Tidus' eyebrows raised just a little, and he debated on whether or not to be insulted. "I'm not a little kid anymore, Auron. I wanted to let you know what was going on before I never saw you again or something. Sorry I didn't tell you before I left the first time. I made a mistake."

Auron was surprised by the maturity of the blond's words, impressed that he'd at least taken the time to think before acting for once. He was right, he wasn't a little kid anymore. He may not be an adult yet either, but he was getting there. "Yes, you did, but at least you realized it and attempted to correct it. Besides, from what I'm told, you actually had a reason to be upset this time."

Tidus frowned, remembering with far more clarity than he'd like Yuna's hateful words. The look of disgust and hurt in her eyes. "She told you 'bout that, huh?"

A grunt. "Not really. We found her crying, and she told us she said some pretty mean things to you, that she was sorry. She never went into any detail about what was actually said."

Tidus nearly laughed at the unasked question in his former caretaker's words. "You want me to tell you what she said."

Auron hesitated, knowing he was treading in dangerous waters now. "I think it's always a good idea to get what's bothering you off your chest."

"Ah." He chuckled, but Auron knew it was fake. "Well, nothing to worry about then because it doesn't bother me."

Oh, so he was going to play that game again. Pretend everything's fine and put on that goofy grin when he's really upset. Auron had seen him do it way too many times before, and he wasn't going to let him do it now.

Without giving it a second thought, Auron dropped down onto one of the cushions in the center of the room, grabbed Tidus by the wrist, and yanked him down onto his lap. The boy gave a startled yelp, landing hard against his former caretaker's chest, blinking stupidly. "The hell, old man?"

Auron's arms came tight around the boy's smaller frame, holding him firmly in place in case he tried to run. "We're not leaving here until you talk about this." He _was not_ going to let things be pushed aside any longer. Big or small, he wouldn't allow Tidus to bottle his emotions up until he hurt himself. Not anymore.

Tidus felt his heart thudding in his chest so hard, he thought it might just break through his ribs and run away. Had Auron really just pulled him onto his lap? His _lap_? What the hell? Even when he was a little kid, Tidus never sat on Auron's lap. Furthermore, this was the second lap he'd sat on in that very same room in less than twenty-four hours. And when he'd sat on Seymour's lap... well, he knew where that had ended up leading. If only the same thing would happen with Auron.

_No, bad Tidus, you're not supposed to think that way anymore. You already decided that you were gonna give this thing with Seymour a shot. You can't keep lusting after other guys._

No matter how good it felt to have their strong arms wrapped around him.

"Look, there's really nothing to talk about. Everything's fine."

One dark eyebrow raised. "Oh really? Then you won't mind telling me what Yuna said."

The response was instantaneous. Tidus stiffened to the point Auron thought he might strain something and tried, to no avail, to pull away. So it wasn't bothering him, huh?

"I don't wanna--"

"I don't care if you don't _want_ to talk about it," the older man interjected harshly. "We're going to. Now tell me." He paused, realizing how harsh he sounded and added more gently, "Please."

Tidus tried once more to get away, his movements reminding Auron very much of a cat when it didn't want to be held, before he let out a defeated sigh and practically collapsed into Auron's warmth. "Auron," his tone was slowly taking on a desperate note, "I really don't wanna talk about this." He felt exactly how he had that night nearly a week ago when Auron had confronted him about his sex habits. Trapped with no escape, being forced to share personal things he never wanted anyone to know about, with the person he least wanted to know. Why was all of this suddenly so important?

Auron carded his fingers through Tidus' hair a few times, silently apologizing for making him so uncomfortable. It wasn't as if he enjoyed tormenting the boy, but this needed to be talked about. Tidus couldn't keep it all inside. "Just tell me what she said."

Another sigh, this one even more downtrodden than the first, and Tidus slowly recounted the 'fight' between Yuna and himself in a thick, detached monotone. He went over everything Yuna had said, the way he'd just ran without really thinking, and stopping at the point where Seymour had found him and brought him back to the temple. What happened after that was no one's business but his own. Not even Auron's.

Auron listened, the prominent scowl on his face growing the more the boy talked. Yuna had had every right to feel bad about what she'd said, it was completely uncalled for and purposely malicious. In fact, he couldn't help suspecting there had been more going on in the girl's head that night then she had told them. But that wasn't what really worried him. "Tidus, do you think you did anything to deserve that?"

The boy scoffed a bit. "I don't hate myself because I'm gay if that's what you mean, I never have. And I didn't _lie_!" He looked particularly frustrated now, but Auron wasn't sure why exactly. "I never tried to hide the fact that I was gay, and I certainly never said anything to the contrary. Why do people always... I mean, whatta they expect me to do? Go around wearing a sign that says 'I'm a fag!' on it?"

"In neon print," the warrior muttered, glad that at least the brat didn't hate himself for something completely beyond his control. And mildly impressed with the extensive vocabulary the boy had just shown. "If that wasn't what upset you, then what was it?"

Tidus gave him an incredulous look. What the hell was Auron talking about 'what was it'? Wasn't it obvious? "She didn't want me there because I was dirty." Hadn't he just told the older man this?

Now Auron was just as confused as the boy. What was he... "You said you knew you weren't dirty because you're gay."

"Well yeah." Tidus waved his hand in dismissively. "But that doesn't mean I'm not dirty. Yuna was right about that, just for the wrong reasons."

There was a long pause as Auron had to physically restrain himself from strangling the boy. Why must he overthink things? Yuna didn't even know about the other things that could classify him as 'dirty'. What, did he think the dirt was real, that he actually secreted some kind of poison that would infect other people? "Tidus--"

"Look, this really _does not matter_," the boy said in a frustrated voice, his tone surprisingly leaving no room for argument. But then he paused, realizing he was lying and that Auron would know like he always did. "Okay, so maybe it does matter, but not that much. Yuna already apologized for everything, and really, she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. I'm happy just knowing that she doesn't hate me anymore." He ran a hand distractedly through decidedly greasy locks, vaguely wishing he'd thought to bathe earlier. He was sure Seymour wouldn't have minded... Seymour... "I have bigger problems at the moment anyway."

Auron pulled back, eyebrows furrowed now. "Oh?"

_Shit, why'd I say that?_

"What kind of problems?"

Oh no. Oh hell no, he was _not_ ready to talk about this with anyone, especially the sole object of his affections up until last night. Quick, change the subject. "Y'know, you never used to talk to me this much when I was younger. What happened?"

"I suppose I've realized the error of my ways," Auron responded dryly, not ready to fully admit his actual guilt about that whole subject. "You didn't answer my question."

_That's because I'm not going to_. "So did you have some kind of life-changing event that made you realize how awesome and important to you I am? Or is it something else? Are you dying?"

He'd meant it jokingly, of course, but he couldn't figure out just why Auron seemed to find that so damn funny. He hadn't heard the man laugh like that in a long time. Maybe he was starting to go senile early. Not that he was upset by this, Auron's spontaneous humor gave him a chance to slip away... or not.

Big arms tightened around him, crushing him against a hard chest just as he'd started to wriggle free. "You still didn't answer my question."

_Fuck_. "Ah it's no big deal really. Just thinking about my future... and stuff."

"Really? All the more reason you should share. I am your legal guardian after all."

Damn old man and his logic. "It's nothing. Just Seymour, that's all." He very carefully avoided the bigger man's gaze as he said this, too embarrassed to look at him. He couldn't stop feeling guilty, as if he'd cheated on Auron with Seymour or something. Which was ridiculous considering you couldn't cheat on someone you had nothing with.

Auron watched the boy lower his eyes in some kind of shame and instantly tensed, white hot fury flashing through him. "Seymour? What did he do?" If that bastard had hurt Tidus in any way he would kill him, nothing more to it. Consequences be damned.

But then Tidus _blushed, _and Auron could do nothing more than stare like a blithering idiot. The brat was blushing because of that maester freak? What the hell was going on? Hadn't Tidus hated Seymour just as much as he had up until... just what had happened between them?

Tidus, meanwhile, could feel his face getting hot, knew he was turning as red as a cherry. Yevon only knew why, it wasn't as if the things he'd done with Seymour last night were even close to the things he'd done with random strangers over the years. He assumed it all came back to the whole 'feelings' thing being involved. That, and this was Auron he was talking to, which just made it all worse. "Anyway, I've just got some stuff to think about." Like whether or not he continued on as Yuna's guardian or stayed there with Seymour his... boyfriend? He assumed that's what he and Seymour were, even if it wasn't really official or anything. So really, it all came down to who was more important to him. Yuna or Seymour.

He felt his chest tighten at even having to compare them, especially since they were important in completely different ways. Seymour was a romantic interest, albeit a new one, and was important to the blond in that way. Yuna was... well, it was hard to describe what Yuna was. She was his angel, as he'd said so many times before. She had offered him kindness and friendship when he needed it most, had always been there to listen to him as he was for her, had only ever 'wronged' him, if it could be called that, once, and had immediately apologized for it on their next meeting. She was like a sister to him, only that really wasn't enough to describe it. In her own way, she was probably his most precious person.

And it wasn't just her. The other guardians were there to; and even if they didn't always see eye to eye on everything, they were his friends and had always accepted and been grateful for his help. Rikku really was like a little sister to him, Wakka a big brother, Lulu sometimes a mother figure (even if she did still scare him a bit), Kimahri the strong silent uncle that he knew would be there if Tidus ever truly needed him. And then there was Auron.

Much like Yuna, words couldn't really describe what Auron was to him. He had been the prominent male figure for most of Tidus' life, but the boy never looked at him as a father, not even when he was younger. He knew that he was supposed to, but he just never got a fatherly vibe from the red-coated man. If anything, he was closer to a much older brother. But that had only lasted for the first few years of their life together. Then their relationship had transformed into something different. Something Tidus really just could not begin to describe to anyone else. Something he didn't fully understand himself. It became so that Auron didn't seem like a father or a brother or even a friend to him, because in some odd way, it felt like Auron was just _part_ of him. That without Auron, he just wouldn't be whole. And somewhere along the line, while that feeling never left, it grew and turned into love. Not the love of a little brother, the love of a lover. And when it had, the boy hadn't been surprised at all. It was like he'd known all along that it would happen. And it just felt right.

As all these thoughts ran through his head far faster than he ever thought possible, he came to the realization that he couldn't leave Yuna and the others. They were important to him, very much so, and as long as they wanted him around, as long as _she_ wanted him there, he would be there. He would protect his angel, help his friends protect her, and do everything he could to protect them to. What else could he do?

Admittedly he felt terrible leaving Seymour because part of him really did want to stay with the older male and give the whole relationship thing a chance. He really did. If only there was a way to do both.

Blink.

"That's it!"

Auron started at the exuberant cry from the boy in his lap, not expecting it when a second ago he'd looked beyond depressed about something. "What's it?"

Tidus didn't answer, but he giggled like a schoolgirl, extremely proud of himself for the solution he'd come up with. Yuna only needed guardians to complete her pilgrimage. After that was done, she could go home, back to Besaid with Wakka and Lulu, and she wouldn't need protection anymore. And then Tidus could return guilt-free to Seymour, having helped his friends and having helped save Spira. Then he could pursue their relationship with a clear conscience, and give everything he had to the maester, his full undivided attention. It was perfect. Everything would be perfect.

Auron honestly didn't know what was going through the boy's head, but he was surprised to see the pure joy in the blond's sudden smile. He looked so happy and peaceful. The warrior was at a complete loss as to what the boy was thinking or what had put that smile on his face, but he found it didn't really matter. He didn't care what it took, he never wanted to see that smile leave. He'd do absolutely anything to keep it there. "Tidus--"

There was a sudden cry from the main room and both men leapt to their feet, rushing to see what, if anything, was wrong. An acolyte was emerging from one of the side rooms, hands clasped over her mouth, a look of pure shock on her face as she sunk to her knees. "Lord Jyscal..."

* * *

Yeah, these last few chapters are about as far off-canon as this story goes, with how Tidus reached Macalania Temple before the others and wasn't there for the Al Bhed ambush and everything. Aside from the fact he's gay and in love with Auron instead of Yuna of course, but you get what I mean. That being said, you can imagine what's going to happen with Seymour next...

And this story _is_ Auron/Tidus. My cousin had a fit when she thought I was turning it into Seymour/Tidus instead, so please don't worry. I could never do that to Auron, I love him far too much. My all-star list:

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I can't believe how long it's getting! Reviews honestly make me so happy, so drop me one if you have the time. I'll be waiting!


	15. Bipolar Boyfriends

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

I'm so sorry this took so long! I've never taken over a month to get a chapter out before. I'm a horrible person. *prostrates self in apology*

Warnings: language

* * *

**Chapter 15: Bipolar Boyfriends**

This couldn't be happening. It didn't matter what it looked like, none of this could be happening. Seymour... Seymour wouldn't kill his own father. Seymour wouldn't really hurt anyone. Sure the guy was arrogant, a bit self-righteous, even a little sadistic. But the man Tidus had seen last night, the one who was so gentle and caring... No, there was no way. This wasn't true, it wasn't happening.

His whole body felt numb as he raced behind the others. They were going to save his angel apparently. But there was no reason for that, no point in hurrying. Because Seymour would never hurt Yuna. He... he _couldn't_.

"Seymour!"

The half-Guado maester didn't bother to turn from where he was standing in front of the large door to the Chamber of the Fayth, back to them. "Please be silent. Lady Yuna prays to the Fayth."

Oh, like hell Tidus was going to just shut up because his pseudo-boyfriend wanted him to. Something weird was going on, something wasn't right, and he wanted some fucking answers. "Make me!"

He turned, walking down the stairs and closer to the blond, meeting his ferocious glare with a condescending smirk. Tidus shivered a bit when he realized he was in full creeper mode.

Yuna came out then, upset at seeing them there when she had tried to shoulder everything on her own. Tidus couldn't help but feel a bit proud of her when she showed her willingness to stand up to the man who was technically her superior. Proud of her when she expressed her desires to fight alongside her guardians and friends. But this was all wrong. They shouldn't be fighting Seymour. Why would Seymour, the one he'd seen over the past day, ever kill his own father? It just didn't make any sense.

And as Tidus moved to defend Yuna, sword drawn, throat tight, Seymour looked at him with the saddest eyes imaginable, hurt and betrayal painted across his features. "Is this your choice then, lovely?"

Yuna was the one that answered, assuming he was speaking to her, saying she would do what she must regardless of who he was and his status, but Tidus knew the truth. Seymour had been talking to him, calling him by the pet name he'd so lovingly dubbed him with the night before. He said nothing in return, but his firm stance and unwavering expression was answer enough. He still couldn't understand what was going on, why this was happening, but there was one thing he knew for certain. No matter what, he would do absolutely everything, _everything_ in his power to protect his angel. No one was going to hurt her, including Seymour. And he had never felt so guilty.

Then they had fought. Seymour was a tough opponent, but the party of summoner Yuna was not to be beaten. He eventually fell to them, shooting one last forlorn look at the blond teen who had struck the final blow. And then he had _smiled_. He smiled that soft, sweet smile just as he had before, when he had held Tidus, when he had kissed him, when he had asked the boy to stay with him.

As the maester fell at his feet, Tidus backed up, literally, into Yuna. The girl sensed something was wrong and wrapped her arms around him, while he felt bile rise up in the back of his throat. Shit, what was going on? Why was this happening?

Tromell came in and called them traitors, fretting over Seymour's corpse. Traitor... yeah, that's what Tidus felt like. A traitor. One who had just killed his boyfriend. The first person he had ever allowed himself to be openly interested in. It was a fitting description. The problem was that Tromell wasn't talking directly to Tidus, he was talking to all of them. He was upsetting Wakka and Yuna. And there was absolutely no reason for them to be upset.

"Wait a minute, you didn't do anything wrong," he insisted to them. Spinning to Tromell, he continued,

voice steadily rising, "Seymour's the bad guy here, he struck first! He admitted to killing his father! They haven't done anything wrong!"

And they hadn't. They weren't traitors. To be a traitor you had to actually betray someone who believed in you in the first place. Like Tidus had. "We'll just explain to everyone what happened!"

"It won't be that easy..."

The deep, rumbling voice brought his attention over to Auron, who was peering at him over the top of his sunglasses. For a moment their eyes locked, and Tidus wondered at the strange look his old caretaker was giving him; but the hold only lasted a moment before Auron turned with an authoritative yet calm, "Let's get out of here."

The blond wasn't particularly surprised when the Guado didn't exactly take their side. 'Seymour was the Lord of the Guado before he was a maester' indeed. Really, who cared that he'd committed a heinous crime. "You're not letting us go."

"Let you go?" Tromell scoffed. "Lord Seymour would never forgive us if we did."

Tidus had half a mind to argue that from what he'd seen, what Seymour would and would not forgive depended completely on the half-Guado's mood. After all, the man had the ability to go from being a sweet, caring lover who didn't want to sleep with him until he was ready one minute, to a scary, arrogant creep who commits patricide the next. Tidus personally sensed a bit of a bipolar disorder in the works.

"Wait, wait!" Rikku suddenly cried, absolutely bouncing with excitement. "Jyscal's sphere! We can show it to them!"

"You mean this?"

Tidus watched the man hold up the only record of the truth and made a desperate grab for it. Of course he was too slow and had to watch as the Guado bastard shattered it in front of his face. He didn't know whether to laugh at the cliché, bad guy way it had been done or cry with the increasing hopelessness of their situation.

"The Guado take care of Guado affairs."

Well shit, what were they supposed to do now? They weren't just going to let the Guado lock them up and then have the rest of Yevon treat them like common criminals were they?

Luckily, Tidus didn't have to think much on that topic. Kimahri lunged forward with his spear brandished and Auron yelled a commanding, "Run!" at the rest of them. The big, red-clad warrior literally shoved through a pair of Guado standing in his way, clearing a path for the others to follow. The party ran out into the frozen tundra surrounding the temple, Guado hot on their trail, until they were finally caught up to.

As Tidus slid into a defensive stance, facing their two opponents, his mouth dropped wide open. They had just called... well, he didn't know what the hell they had just called. Was it a fiend under their control? It reminded him of stories he'd heard as a child of the 'abominable snowman'. And while the Guado fell to them easily, that lousy sucker didn't go down without a fight.

Finally, Lulu blasted it with some of her fire spells and knocked it out. Or at least knocked it out for about ten seconds. Then it climbed back to its feet looking pissed, forcing a disheartened sigh out of the blond blitzer. He was tired and still confused and his shoulder was killing him and more Guado could come any second and he didn't want to fight anymore. Surprisingly, he got his wish.

The angry snow monster punched the ground in his fury, causing the ice under their feet to split and crack. And the next thing any of them knew, they were falling, and there was no way to stop it.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Auron knew he was being mean. Really, there was no other way to describe it. He knew he was being too harsh on Yuna, that he shouldn't speak so cruelly about her worries. But frankly, at the moment, he didn't care. The lot of them were obsessing about Yevon would be angry this and how they had defied Yevon that. It was nearly sickening to him, the only one who really knew the truth about Yevon.

And Yuna wanted to delay her pilgrimage just so they could go plead their case to the Grand Maester. Not only did he know that would be pointless, but the pilgrimage was of the utmost importance. He couldn't even fully explain it himself, but he knew, he just _knew_, that this pilgrimage was special. That this pilgrimage would be the one to end the cycle. He didn't know how yet, couldn't even begin to guess, but the farther along their journey they went, the more he was sure. Jecht might be Sin, might merely be a shell of the man he once was, but he still knew what he was doing. Bringing Tidus here was more than just a fatherly whim. Auron was now sure of it.

Part of him wanted to scream at the disillusioned party the truths about Yevon, make them see reality no matter how ugly it was. Unfortunately, Auron knew that that was a lesson they would just have to learn on their own. No matter what he told them, they would never believe it, even now after all they'd already seen. There was no point in him wasting his breath.

So to vent his frustration, he snapped at all of them, currently unable to wander off and be alone as he usually did when things got to be too much for him. And he was worried about Tidus again. The brat had actually seemed okay right before they'd had to fight that half-Guado bastard. Then after the fight... Auron didn't understand why Tidus seemed to be taking things so hard. He certainly wasn't worried about the repercussions of Yevon. So why was he so upset?

And the boy was clearly upset. This wasn't one of his usual, small bouts of depression that could be brought on by just about anything. If it was one of those, Auron could ignore it in face of their current crisis, and it would almost definitely disappear on its own once Tidus was either distracted enough or simply cheered up. This was much deeper. In fact, this was worse than Auron had seen it in a long time. The brat actually looked like he was close to some kind of breakdown. Why?

And then he remembered the blush earlier. The one when they had been talking about Seymour. Frowning at the thought and feeling his chest crunch almost painfully, Auron growled in the back of his throat. Had... had they _done_ something together the night they were alone? Did the brat actually _like_ Seymour? His heart clenched tighter. Had he really lost to a murdering, half-Guado freak?

Tidus sat away from the others, pissed off beyond words. At a lot of things. He had tried talking to everyone in order to distract himself, but it hadn't exactly gone well. They were all angsting about their precious Yevon. Fuck Yevon, seriously. At least they hadn't just helped kill their boyfriend.

And that was the biggest reason Tidus was pissed. If he had just watched that damn stupid fucking sphere _before_ coming to Maca-whatever Temple, he would never have let himself get too close to Seymour. He would never have been friendly with the guy, let alone allow himself to actually fall for him. He would have seen him for what he really was.

That just confused the boy further. What he really was... he knew Seymour was a 'bad guy'. That much had been proven pretty obvious. But when Seymour had been sweet to him, when he had kissed him, smiled at him... he was _sure_ that was all real. He had been with a lot of people, he knew when someone was just acting the part they thought they were supposed to play. Seymour hadn't been like that, not at all. Every single one of his affections had been genuine. And while Tidus certainly wasn't upset by this, it confused the living hell out of him. Because honestly, how could both Seymours be real?

The more Tidus thought about it, the more he wondered if the half-Guado really did have some kind of split-personality disorder or something. Because as kind and gentle as the man could be, he had also killed his own father without batting an eyelash. Even Tidus, who had spent most of his life hating his father, would never want to _kill_ him. That shit wasn't normal.

He sighed and buried his face in his arms. His thoughts were too muddled, and he just plain wasn't smart enough to figure this out. If it even made logical sense. He was beginning to think it didn't.

A sudden sound caught his ear and he lifted his head a fraction, recognizing the tune. Getting up from his seat on a fallen pillar, he waded through the liquid ice around his shins, body so numb from the shock of everything that had just happened he barely felt the cold. That song... "Is that coming from the temple?"

"Yes. It is Yevon's gift. It soothes the hearts of the faithful," Yuna replied, almost happily, making the Yevon/blitzball sign at him.

He passed by the rest of his friends, exchanging a few words, before approaching his original target. "Jecht used to sing this song."

Tidus gave Auron a small smile, folding his hands behind his head, happy to chat idly with his old guardian. As they shared small talk about the hymn and Jecht and Zanarkand, Tidus felt himself calming down. Even when he realized that Sin definitely was the link between Spira and Zanarkand, that if Sin died he couldn't go home... even then he continued to slowly relax. He still wanted to go home. Desperately wanted to go home, but... he was beginning to realize that the chances of that were becoming less and less likely by the day. He had even planned on sticking around when Seymour was still in the picture. So maybe... maybe if he did have to stay in Spira it wouldn't be so bad. He glanced back at his friends and smiled. At least he wasn't alone.

"The singing stopped," Lulu gasped in shock, and Tidus frowned, cocking his head to listen. She was right, of course, the hymn had abruptly ended, leaving them in an eerie silence. For a moment the boy held his breath, knowing something bad was about to happen, when everything shook, nearly throwing him off his feet.

"There's something here!"

"The ground!"

The ground? What the... oh dear fucking Yevon, _really_?

"Sin!"

"The toxin! Watch out!"

Tidus attempted to cover his nose and mouth, but he moved far too slowly. Everything started spinning, moving in and out of focus. So this was what Sin's toxin was like. Like the time that guy at the Pegasus had slipped him a roofie. But his sudden lack of coherence didn't stop him from thinking altogether.

"The song... You were listening, too!"

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Why did this shit keep happening to Tidus? Why didn't people tell him anything? They knew he wasn't from here, they knew this whole world was completely alien to him. So how the hell was he supposed to know that summoner's died at the end of their pilgrimage? How the hell was he supposed to know that this whole time... he'd been leading his angel to her death?

He didn't care if it was her choice. He didn't care if she felt it was right. Rikku had said it best. _"Summoners shouldn't have to sacrifice themselves... just so the rest of Spira can be happy, right?"_ And that about summed it up. It was one thing to want to protect people. To put your life on the line to protect those people. But it was another thing entirely to knowingly throw your life away. That just... wasn't fair. The pilgrimage, the one the people of Spira celebrated, was no more than a glorified death march for everyone else's benefit. Tidus would rather let Sin tear him apart a thousand times than let summoners willingly kill themselves to save him. The people of Spira should find their own way of fighting Sin. Not depend on summoners to sacrifice themselves for them.

"I can't let her die!"

And he wouldn't. Yuna was not going to die. He didn't care how he did it, he would find a way to keep her alive. He had never been more sure of anything in his life.

"I'll find her!"

He felt like such an idiot, talking with Cid on the airship. Admitting that he'd had no idea what was really going on the whole time. That he didn't even know what it was a summoner truly had to do. That he had, _had_ to apologize to her.

He knew he deserved it when Cid just flipped his smaller body over the big man's shoulder, sending him crashing down hard on his ass. But he wasn't going to let the guy lump him in with the rest of the moronic Yevonites who sacrificed others for their own gain. He promised the leader of the Al Bhed then and there what he'd already promised himself. Yuna would not die. And somehow, maybe through the expression he wore, maybe through the tone of his voice, maybe through the look in his eyes, he got the bald man to believe him.

He witnessed true strength when the Al Bhed blew up their own home to take out the remaining Guado and fiends. He could see how hard it was for them, see the pain in Rikku's swirly, green eyes. To see the little blond look so sad was absolutely heart-wrenching. He wasn't the only one who thought so either, except... well, Wakka wasn't exactly the best at comforting others.

"Hey, look. Don't get so down. Boom! Like happy festival fireworks, ya?"

Rikku's glare was potent enough to kill. "You can cram your happy festival, you big meanie!"

Tidus winced as she stomped off and Wakka hung his head dejectedly. The red-head really had just been trying to help. Trying to make up for the nasty remarks he'd made about her people, at least a little. He just sucked at it, that was all.

The boy's attention was caught by Auron arguing with Cid about Yuna and her pilgrimage or something. He didn't listen too closely. He didn't care about the bigger men's pissing contest, all he cared about was finding Yuna and keeping her safe, whatever that took.

Turning back to Rikku, figuring he could at least try and cheer her up better than Wakka, he realized she was gone. He scanned the room again hastily before leaving, intent on finding her. He knew she was upset, knew she probably shouldn't be alone right now. Brooding in solitude... it wasn't healthy. He was sure of that.

And that's exactly what she was doing when he found her in one of the empty rooms on the lower decks. Now that she was alone, she had let her strong facade slip, allowed herself to mourn for what she'd lost. Sitting, staring blandly at a wall, knees hugged tightly to her chest. Eyes hauntingly empty. She wasn't crying like her brother had, but Tidus thought her blank expression was actually worse. He took a seat next to her, letting the silence carry on for a while, before saying, "I'm sorry about your home and your friends. I wish I could change what happened."

Tidus had the feeling he probably would have liked Home. After all, the small city had copious amounts of machina everywhere, something he was accustomed to after growing up in Zanarkand. Besides, he'd seemed to like pretty much all of the Al Bhed he had met along the pilgrimage, and he would have been happy to meet and talk with Rikku's friends. That's if the place hadn't been burning by the time they reached it. If they hadn't had to watch one of Rikku's friends get slaughtered the moment they arrived.

Rikku made no acknowledgement that she had heard him, didn't make any move to look his way. He wasn't really surprised.

"You know, the same thing happened to my home. Or at least, I think it did."

This time his words seemed to get through. She tensed for a moment and then looked at him slowly, eyes imploring him to continue.

"Sin attacked. Except, in my Zanarkand, we had never heard of Sin before, so I had no idea what was going on. I was at my blitz game, playing. We were winning, though it had just started. And then this giant fucking monster comes out of nowhere and starts breaking shit. The stands were torn apart. People died, others just started screaming and running away, panicked. I didn't know what to do until Auron showed up and gave me a sword of all things. We fought some fiends... and then I was here, in Spira. Alone, until you found me."

Rikku studied his face, though he couldn't fathom what she was looking for. Finally, "Are you upset, about what happened to your Zanarkand?"

Tidus bit his lip lightly and sighed. "Yes and no. See, I'm not exactly sure what happened to my Zanarkand. Maybe it was completely destroyed. Maybe there was only minor damage. Maybe all of my friends were killed, maybe most of them are just fine. I really don't know. And... I haven't had much time to really think about it, being dumped here, where everything's new and different. I guess, I'm glad I haven't really had to think about it."

She licked her dry lips, sitting up a little straighter. "Do you miss it? Zanarkand?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do." He gave a wan smile. "But at the same time, this place is starting to grow on me. I want to go home... but I'm starting to think that's not possible anymore. I just..."

"You wish you knew what happened to your friends."

He shut his eyes, faces flashing behind the closed lids, stopping on one particular brunette with a soft smile. "You have no idea."

Rikku slowly sidled up to his side, curling against him and resting her head on his shoulder. "Will you tell me more about your Zanarkand?"

Tidus grinned down at her, looping an arm around her smaller frame. "If you tell me more about Home."

Two hours later, the Al Bhed had fallen asleep in his arms. He gently stroked a stray lock of hair out of her face, not glancing up as a large, hulking figure entered the room. "How long have you been here?"

Auron shifted, tugging absently at his collar. "As long as you have."

Blond eyebrows raised. "And you just stood outside the door?" When he was met with silence, he smiled slyly at his old caretaker. "You were worried about Rikku."

The man gave a non-committal grunt. "You seemed to be doing a good job. I didn't want to interrupt."

"Thanks, I think. But I'm sure she would have appreciated your concern. Even if you are a cold, undemonstrative bastard."

"Careful with those big words, brat. You might choke on one."

"Up yours, old man."

There was a moment of comfortable silence before the teen said, "Hey, wanna do me a favor?"

A grunt.

"I really gotta pee, but I don't wanna just lay her on the ground. You think you could..." He made a motion towards the girl with his head.

Auron sighed, like he was doing Tidus the biggest favor in the world, but the boy knew he didn't really mind. He sat next to the two blonds, gathering the girl up into his lap, watching with a smirk as Tidus attempted to get feeling back into his left arm. "Thanks, old man, I'll be right back."

The warrior chose not to answer, just watched the boy leave and then turned his gaze down to the small figure he was holding. Absently wrapping her up in his red coat, he watched her stir as green eyes slowly blinked open. "Auron?"

"Go back to sleep, Rikku."

The girl mumbled something in Al Bhed with a yawn, snuggling closer to the big man's chest. "Good night, Mr. meanie."

Auron tried hard not to smile. "Good night, brat." He knew she would be okay.

* * *

Again, I'm seriously sorry this took so long. I had a hard time writing this chapter. First of all, there's about a million cutscenes in this part of the game, and it took me forever to figure out which ones I wanted to use and which ones I wanted to completely cut out, and which ones I wanted to elaborate on. **So if the jumping around in this chapter kind of confuses you, I suggest hopping on youtube and watching the cutscenes to fill in the gaps.**

The other reason this took so long was because I got an idea for a Naruto fanfic stuck in my head and it wouldn't go away. So I decided to start typing that up. I didn't expect it to completely eat my brain, or to flow the way it did. And I didn't want to stop writing that one and force myself to write this one because a.) I would lose the flow for that one and b.) forcing myself to write this one rather than write it when I was in the mood would just make it turn out shitty.

Regardless, I'm still not overly happy with this chapter. It seems a bit rushed and choppy to me, but once again I think that's because of the multitude of cutscenes. I hope it wasn't too bad. Now my all-star list.

PhoenixCharmer116

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Your reviews are more addicting than crack. You have to feed my habit!


	16. Silver Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Okay, so I feel the express need to tell you before you read this chapter that it contains non-con. And since there's probably a whole bunch of people who don't read my rambling, I'm going to attempt to catch their attention by putting it in bold. **This chapter contains non-con. A.k.a. non-consensual sex, a.k.a. rape.**

Now I feel the need to defend myself just a little. I _know_ the whole Seymour rapes Tidus bit is a horribly overdone plot device, trust me. However, this entire story is just a rewrite of a story I wrote when I first played FFX, back when I was about twelve years old or so (yes, my twelve year old mind really did come up with this entire plot. Yes, I'm aware this is highly disturbing.) Back then, I didn't even have the internet (bastard parents took years to get it) and had never even heard of a fanfiction. I just came up with this idea when I was grounded and wrote the story out of boredom. Thus, I was unaware of just how many other people used the Seymour rapes Tidus plot. And while part of me wanted to take it out when I was doing this rewrite, I decided against it. Because even though it's cliche, I'm stubborn, and I really want to stick to what I originally wrote all those years ago (just with better grammar, of course.) Also, I have read several Seymour rapes Tidus stories since getting the internet, and I can safely say that mine is decently different than any I've seen so far. Oh, and for the record, I didn't make Seymour extra large for the non-con scene (I'm not that sick). I just think he's the kind of guy who's got a big penis *shrug*. Sorry, I just really felt the need to put that in here, on the off-chance someone will actually read it.

Warnings: language, **non-con**

* * *

**Chapter 16: Silver Heart**

"The High Court of Yevon is now in session. The sacred offices of this court seek nothing but absolute truth, in Yevon's name. To those on trial: Believe in Yevon, and speak only the truth."

"Enlightened rule by the dead is preferable to the misguided failures of the living."

"Life is but a passing dream, but the death that follows is eternal."

"Men die. Beasts die. Trees die. Even continents perish. Only the power of death truly commands in Spira. Resisting its power is futile."

"No matter how many summoners give their lives, Sin cannot be truly defeated. The rebirth cannot be stopped."

"Yevon is embodied by eternal, unchanging continuity."

"Those who question these truths—they are traitors!"

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

_Dennick chuckled lightly at Tidus' drunken antics and passed him anot__her beer. Pegasus was in full swing, music blaring, people milling about everywhere, same-sex couples dancing, holding hands, cuddling, kissing, with no one around to judge. It was just like any other Friday night, but this one was special. Because today was the day he turned sixteen._

_It was nice, that his friend cared so much. He had met Tidus at the club, they danced together for a while, shared some drinks. Plenty of their friends from around the place wished Tidus a happy birthday. He had only been coming there about five months and already he found himself extremely popular. It gave him that warm, fuzzy, girly feeling inside every time someone slapped him on the back or hugged him, having remembered his special day._

_Now, worn out from dancing and just shy of wasted, he and Dennick sat at a booth, having a few more drinks before they called it a night. It was a little earlier than usual, but Dennick had work in the morning. Besides... Tidus kind of wanted to spend a little time with Auron on his birthday._

_Somehow, the conversation had turned to discussing what their ideal guy would be. Dennick, being a natural top, liked smaller, cute guys, not necessarily feminine, just petite. He also liked when they had a feisty personality, something that could contrast with his own laidback, soft one. Tidus actually matched him very well in that way; but he liked it most when they were demanding and even a little dominating with what they wanted. That was something Tidus would never be._

_Tidus, who was a natural bottom, was also naturally submissive. Stubborn, yes, but still submissive. He very, _very_ rarely took control, preferring his partner to do that, and he would do just about whatever was asked of him. And as far as looks went, he liked bigger guys. Much bigger. He had a thing for well-muscled men who could pin him down and completely dominate him. He also liked the 'strong, silent type', the ones who didn't show a lot of outward emotion, so you had to work at figuring out what they were thinking; a rewarding endeavor when you succeeded and were consequently the only one who could truly understand them. And you were the only one who knew how sweet they were inside. Someone just like Auron..._

_His alcohol-flooded brain froze the moment those words ran through his head. Like Auron...? Had he just compared his ideal fantasy man to his long-time guardian? His 'father figure'? _

"_Tidus? Cutie, you okay?" _

_Blue eyes blinked rapidly, looking up to Dennick's inquisitive face. Okay. Was he okay? "I... yeah, I'm fine, Dennick. I just... thought of something weird." _

_Dennick smirked and poked him playfully in the forehead. "I told you not to drink too much tonight. It's time to go. You told that guy you'd be home by twelve, right?" _

_That guy. "Yeah." That guy had walked into their boathouse after running an errand just in time to see Tidus rushing out, eager to get to the club. They had exchanged a few brief words, Tidus promising to be home by midnight. What had Auron said back?_

"Okay. I'll be waiting up."

_That's right. Which was strange, because Auron was more of the early to bed, early to rise kind of guy. Tidus couldn't remember the last time the older man had waited up for him._

"_We should leave then. C'mon, I'll walk you home." _

_Tidus frowned. "You don't need to walk me home. I'm not a girl." _

"_No, but you're drunk and just as pretty as one. Humor me." _

_And he did. Not too much later he parted ways with his brunette friend and stumbled through the door of his home, locking the it behind him like he'd been taught, kicking shoes off at the entrance. Walking a few steps gave him a clear view of the small living room where the TV was on and Auron was sitting on the couch. To anyone else, it would look like the man was sitting comfortably, slouched back, watching the news. Tidus had lived with him long enough to know he'd fallen asleep behind his sunglasses._

_Smiling and thinking the older man was just like a little kid, he crept quietly over to the TV, switching it off. Then he picked up the blanket that was perpetually draped over the back of the armchair and tip-toed closer to the sleeping giant, draping the soft fabric over him... Perfect. _

_He had just turned to creep his way over to the kitchen when he felt a grip like a vice close around his wrist, and the next second he was pinned on his back, lying on the couch with a hard body hovering over him. _

_He swallowed thickly. Why was his heart beating so fast? It was just Auron._

_Auron who could pin him down and dominate him..._

"_Tidus." Auron stared down at the boy beneath him, trying to clear the sleep from his brain._

_Tidus attempted to clear his own brain of any and all inappropriate thoughts. "Hey, Auron, sorry. I was trying not to wake you." _

_Eyebrows shifted just a little, meaning the amber eye beneath those glasses had narrowed. "I wasn't sleeping." _

_Tidus rolled his eyes. _Sure you weren't. _This scene wasn't actually all that uncommon. There had been many times during Tidus' youth that he had attempted to sneak up on Auron while he was sleeping. Unfortunately for him, Auron was a light sleeper and trained warrior, one who reacted as soon as he felt someone in his personal space. This had probably been the closest Tidus had ever come to not waking him yet. _

_Auron slowly let the boy up as his brain began running again. He sniffed as he did so, looking Tidus over critically. "You've been drinking." _

_Tidus scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. Normally when he got drunk he would spend the night at Dennick's. He _was_ still underage, after all. "Uh... yeah, I have." _

_A grunt. "Make sure you're careful." _

_Oh. Well, that wasn't so bad. He had kind of been expecting some big lecture or something. He gave Auron a bright grin. "Don't worry, I will." _

_Another grunt and Auron shifted, rolling his shoulder to ease the stiffness that accumulated there and then reaching down to pull something from beneath the couch. "Here." A small package, wrapped in red paper was thrust into Tidus' chest. "It's after twelve, so technically it's a day late; but happy birthday." _

_That warm feeling was back again, spreading through his chest and stomach with vigor. Was this why Auron had attempted to stay up? Just so he could give Tidus his present? _

_Blushing, he tore it open, revealing a long, rectangular box. Inside was a gorgeous silver chain with a beautifully designed pendant that faintly resembled both a heart and a 'T' attached. It was amazing, and matched perfectly with Tidus' style. And it was expensive. He stared at his guardian, too shocked to speak._

_Auron shrugged. "I figured you'd like it. You were saying the other day how you wanted to look for a nice necklace..." _

_With numb fingers, he took it gingerly from the box, feeling the weight of the well-made metal, before attaching it safely around his neck. He continued to rub the pendant between his fingers, a small, ecstatic smile on his face. "I love it," he said earnestly. "Thank you, Auron."_

_Auron grunted once more, like it was no big deal, but Tidus knew how to read him. The big man was pleased. And it was somewhere in that moment, between constantly touching his gift, whipping up some microwavable cuisine, and still being tipsy from the alcohol, that Tidus realized he was in love with this quiet, socially awkward, mysterious man. And there wasn't a single thing he could do about it. Because no one can change how they feel. No matter how wrong it might be._

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

"Get me outta here! I want out now! You hear me?"

"You waste your breath."

With a huff, Tidus kicked the side of his cage, hard. Oh, bad idea. That hurt straight through his heavy boots. Lousy fucking-- He groaned and sat down dejectedly. "Man, I hope Yuna's okay."

He almost regretted saying that. It brought about a rather... morose conversation about death with his fellow cellmate. Talk about depressing.

"It is a cycle of death, spiraling endlessly."

Excellent. He'd known since the moment he arrived there that Spira was gloomy, but really. Time to lighten things up a bit. "C'mooooon, let me outta here! I'm so booored!"

Auron actually snorted. "Sorry I'm such lousy company."

"I didn't _say_ you were lousy company. I said you were boring company."

"Then I'm sorry you weren't put in a cage with someone else."

Tidus waved him off, shooting a cocky grin his way. "There are probably worse things. And hey, I got to crash a wedding."

"The way you were acting you probably made half the people watching think you had... a thing with Yuna."

The boy paused and blinked. "A thing?"

"Yes." One amber eye bored into him. "A romantic thing."

Tidus frowned, trying to remember just how he had acted. "Really?"

A grunt. "You're a young male, she's an attractive young female, you nearly had a fit when Seymour kissed her--"

"Kissed her? You call that a kiss? More like him smashing his lips onto hers."

A small laugh rumbled through Auron's chest. "I agree. But it's doubtful our dear maester knows how to kiss."

Why would Auron think that? Seymour was actually an amazing kisser. Demanding, but not overpowering or greedy. Of course, when Tidus had kissed him, it had been a mutual act. Yuna hadn't exactly seemed thrilled by the idea...

Yuna... at Seymour's mercy...

"LET ME OUT!"

Auron opened his mouth, probably to tell the boy once again that it was useless, when they both heard the sound of footsteps approaching.

Tidus leapt to his feet excitedly. "Heh, looks like they finally got tired of my yelling."

"It can be annoying."

The blond briefly stuck his tongue out at his former caretaker, turning full attention to the approaching figures. It occurred to him rather quickly that Yuna wasn't exactly the only one at Seymour's mercy. Not that the sight of the half-Guado scared him. Because it truly didn't. It just... made his chest ache a little. "Nice to see you changed out of your wedding clothes. That outfit was pretty fruity."

Auron whacked him over the back of the head. "What do you want, Seymour?"

The older man smirked, looking as sexy and yet as dangerous as ever. "My, so hostile. I merely came to have a little chat."

"We have no desire to speak with the likes of you," Auron practically growled, and Tidus mentally agreed.

Seymour just laughed, in that incredibly condescending way of his. "I'm afraid I didn't come to speak with you, Sir Auron." A motion of his hand and the guards flanking his sides stepped forward, guns raised. The one kept his weapon trained on Auron while the other pinned Tidus to the ground, handcuffing him, before dragging him out onto the platform where Seymour stood waiting. Auron made no move to attack as he watched this, but Tidus could see his muscles tense beneath his red coat. He mentally begged his guardian not to do anything foolish, no matter what happened. The man might have seemed calm and collected all the time, but Tidus knew he could also be overprotective. He didn't like anyone hurting the blond.

Once he had been thrown down at Seymour's feet, the guards were dismissed. Tidus struggled to his knees, most of his balance lost with his hands fastened behind his back. "Kinky," he said, motioning with his head towards the cuffs.

Seymour smiled, and the boy immediately flinched. That smile... it was the maester's _real_ smile, the one few people knew he was even capable of. And it only served to confuse and destroy Tidus' heart more. This man just didn't make sense.

"I apologize, but I couldn't risk you getting away." He reached out and tenderly stroked slim fingers through messy blond locks. "I know how crafty you can be, lovely. And how stubborn."

**A/N: Non-con starts here. Please skip if you find this offensive or it could act as a trigger.**

Tidus didn't know whether to shiver in pleasure or disgust. He wanted to hate this man for everything he had done, knew he should, but when he was being like this... Seriously, why did things have to be so complicated? "What is it you want?"

Seymour chuckled lightly. "You know what I want."

The hand in his hair guided him gently to stand, and a tongue traced the shell of his ear as he complied. He shut his eyes. "And if I don't want it?"

Another tender laugh. "You do."

"I don't." He really didn't, not with Auron standing ten measly feet away, watching everything with his one hawk-like eye. The very thought made him sick.

A hand reached around to cup his ass firmly, pulling him tight against the taller man. "You'll take it anyway."

Of course. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and forced himself to relax as the tongue traced his ear again, found its way down his neck, as teeth bit his collarbone sharply. It was okay. It was the same as every other time he'd slept with a random guy. Just pretend no one's watching. Everything was fine.

"Why the sudden change, lovely? You were all too eager the other night."

Blue eyes flew opened, horrified. _Shut up,_ he silently willed. _Shut up, please don't talk about that. Don't let him know about that._

Seymour immediately sensed the boy's discomfort and glanced towards Auron slyly. "Ah, I see." His smirk turned positively evil as he leaned in to kiss the panicking blond... only to have the boy turn his head away, sharply. Seymour seemed to be losing his patience. "Do not try and resist me." The grip on soft hair turned painful in an instant, forcing the boy's face closer. "You will comply."

"Seymour, stop. I don't want this." Tidus' voice somehow managed to be both pleading and firm at the same time, eyes serious and calm. He was hoping he could appeal to the logical side of the half-Guado, but he realized quickly his efforts were in vain. The moment the words left his lips, Seymour's eyes took on a manic tone, all traces of sanity fleeing towards the exits.

"You _do_ want this," he hissed.

"No, Seymour, I don't. Please stop."

It was apparent now that the Seymour who could be reasoned with was long gone. "Well, if you don't want this, I suppose I could always find someone else who does." He feigned a thoughtful look. "I do very much enjoy blonds, even if they happen to be female."

Tidus felt his heart stop in his chest. Had that bastard really just...? "Stay away from her."

"Hm? Perhaps another willing partner then?" Violet eyes strayed towards the cage. "You know, dominating someone so powerful... it's such an exhilarating experience."

"Stay away from all of them!"

Seymour smiled patronizingly at him, the way you would a small child. "Now now, lovely. I never knew you to be so jealous. If you wanted it so badly, all you had to do was ask."

Tidus gritted his teeth as Seymour ground them together, wanting to shrink away from the hardness pressed against his stomach but not allowing himself. Let Seymour have his fun. Maybe afterwards he'd even be willing to listen, to strike a deal with them, to let them go. And if not... well, at least he'd be satiated. He wouldn't want to go after any of the others. Better Tidus than them.

Seymour went to push Tidus to the ground and the boy limply allowed it, knowing the futility of putting up a fight. His boots were pulled off, shorts were unclasped and stripped away, leaving him in only his revealing half-shirt. He made no move to protest or cover himself (not that he could with the way his hands were bound awkwardly behind his back), but his face was firmly turned away from the cage, away from Auron. He hoped, prayed to every deity he'd ever heard of that the other man wasn't watching.

Seymour hovered above him robes open, stroking fingers softly down the boy's chest, abs, thighs. The sensation tingled pleasantly and Tidus felt his cock twitch in response, but he ignored it like it was his job. He wasn't stupid, he knew that any correct stimulation would arouse a person's body, regardless of the situation. Just because his penis was enjoying what was happening didn't mean he was. It was that knowledge alone that allowed him to endure Seymour's crooning about how much he obviously wanted the maester. "Your body doesn't lie, lovely," but that couldn't be further from the truth.

He was perfectly prepared to do whatever the man desired. If Seymour wanted a blowjob, he'd give him an amazing one. If Seymour wanted to fuck him, he'd willingly spread his legs. If Seymour had some other weird kinky shit in mind, he'd go along with it silently. But then the lousy bastard tried to kiss him again. And that was the one thing Tidus _would not_ do.

Seymour's pleasant face immediately turned sour once more. "Submit to me, lovely. Do as I say and this can be pleasurable for the both of us."

Tidus really should have kept his mouth shut, but he never had been overly bright. That's why he allowed himself to say, "Only if I don't puke first." Whoops.

Honestly, it was a pretty sucky comeback, definitely not one of his best. And it turned Seymour absolutely livid. The older man backhanded him across his big mouth, eyes flashing dangerously. His lips curled back in a snarl, and he spat, "Fine. If you don't want to appreciate my kindness, you won't receive any."

Before the blond could even fully register the words, the maester above him shoved into his unprepared entrance, forcing himself in.

Tidus was no stranger to the pain that could come with sex. To hell with strangers, they were actually close acquaintances. But only once had anything ever felt quite like this before. The unlubricated entry, the literal tearing, the burning, the way it shot straight up his spine. He could put it into words, but that still didn't really describe it. You couldn't really describe something like that.

For a moment, everything went black, and his mind danced just on the edge of consciousness. He struggled to pull breath into his lungs, his chest felt heavy and...

Screaming? Someone was screaming. High, terrified, close.

_Fuck, it hurts!_

Still screaming. Someone's in trouble. He... he should help them.

But he couldn't even help himself.

It was so hard to see. Why wouldn't his eyes focus?

_It hurts!_

He couldn't breathe right. His chest burned. His throat burned.

His legs were moving. Kicking. He wasn't telling them to do that.

Pain.

Everything was dark.

_It fucking _hurts_!_

They were still screaming. It was so loud. So close. Sharper now. Clearer. Everything was clearer. He could see again.

Oh. He was the one screaming.

The pain didn't dull any, but his body slowly became accustomed to it, allowing him to think again. He gasped weakly, out of breath, the screams now soft whimpers in the back of his raw throat. His whole body was shaking like a washing machine and he felt the wetness of tears on his face. Slowly he started to calm down. He just had to endure it a little longer. Everything would be all right.

He heard screaming of another kind, yelling, again from somewhere nearby. Auron. Auron was yelling at Seymour from the cage, swearing to kill him when he got free. That... that was odd. Auron didn't normally lose his composure like that.

Seymour thrust once, forcing another cry from the blond's throat, though this time he was able to stay coherent. The thrusts that followed got less and less painful, partly because his blood was now acting as lubricant, but mostly because the pain had started to dull into a burning numbness. The boy worked on keeping his breathing steady and carefully moving along with the older man's motions, lessening the friction. He was okay.

It didn't take long before Seymour was also aware of this. And it pissed him off. Tidus wasn't supposed to be okay, this was supposed to hurt him. The blond had betrayed him. He wanted to hurt him.

With a furious snarl, he flipped their positions, bringing Tidus to sit straddling himself, hands on his thighs in a bruising grip. "Why don't you ride me, lovely? Show me how much you enjoy this."

Tidus was trying desperately to keep his balance with his hands behind him, winded and shaking from the new, deeper angle of the thick member in his torn entrance. He just needed a moment...

Seymour gave an almighty thrust upwards. "Come now, lovely, you can do better than that. Show us what a good little whore you are."

Tidus felt something inside him snap. With a growl, he lifted himself and slammed back down onto the older man's member, hard, not even feeling the intense pain of the action. Repeating the motions over and over, fast, violently, he didn't even register Seymour's stunned expression. He just kept going, his pace kept getting faster, rage coursing through him in waves, grunting a bit with the exertion.

What was this man thinking? That he could hurt Tidus? With this? He was suddenly laughing, not a hysterical sound, just his normal, sardonic laugh, the one he always used when everything was royally fucked up and there was nothing left to do but laugh at life. "You think you can hurt me?" he demanded, yelled really at the man below him. "You think this fucking hurts? You can't hurt me! This won't ever hurt me!" He thrust himself down harder for emphasis, somehow managing to tear just a bit more, laughing all the while. "You're too late! This won't hurt me anymore!"

He continued his rapid pace, forcing Seymour to the edge far faster than the maester would have liked, showing, indeed, how good a whore he could be. This... this wasn't going at all as planned. The man wanted to punish the boy after he'd refused him. This hardly seemed enough. The blond wasn't even bothered by it, definitely not the way he should be.

Violet eyes lit up in sudden triumph. Yes, of course. He knew how to hurt him.

Rolling the pair of them so Tidus was again on the bottom, he gave a few more quick thrusts before coming hard inside the boy. And just as his peak hit, he smashed his lips forcefully onto the blond's.

Tidus struggled desperately against him, trying to dislodge him, kick him, but he had the boy trapped beneath his superior size. He held the kiss for a long time, massaging their lips together, not stupid enough to try and stick his tongue in the other's mouth. The boy would probably bite it clean off; but that didn't matter. This was still a kiss.

And when he pulled back and saw the disgusted, defeated look in the boy's eyes, he smirked in victory. He had won.

* * *

Finally done. I actually wanted the scene after this to also be part of this chapter, but it isn't finished quite yet. And when I realized how long it's been since I've updated this story, I challenged myself to get the next chapter done and out by Christmas. I'm so proud of myself for actually accomplishing this, though I sincerely apologize for making you all wait so long. Two months and I'm still not happy with how this chapter turned out. Oh well.

One or two little things to address: first of all, a few of you asked that I don't abandon this story. I promise you all right now that unless I come to an untimely death I will never abandon a story. It might take a long time for updates depending on how busy my life is and whether or not writer's block is attacking, but it will get done. Nothing bothers me more than getting really into a fic and then the author never finishes it. Yes, I know you have lives to live, but dammit, it's annoying as all hell. I will never do that to my readers.

Also, yes, this fic is posted on adult fanfiction. Why aren't all the chapters here posted there? Because my loser cousin is the one who wanted to post it there as well, and I then made her in charge of updating to that site. You can see how good a job she's doing. (I love her to death, but sometimes I just want to wring her neck.)

And so, in conclusion to this extra long rant, I will attempt to get the next chapter up as soon as possible, but I can't promise that will be overly soon. It could be a week, it could be a month or two. But it will get up.

A Merry Christmas (or whatever holiday you happen to celebrate during this winter season, I don't discriminate) to all of you, your families, and friends.

PhoenixCharmer116

XxXFailureByDesignXxX

Catheli

NeonGreen69

Anbu Aoko

Pederz

Maribel Maki

Fr3ya

Amon2

Shadow D. Wolf

honeyberries

KawaiiNyuu

fuxfell

Shironami

random359

Murder Junkie

JessiKa xoxo

kittylizz

Doreiku

Helbi101

AniseTokunaga

xXToxicXAddictionXx

hanabi857

xxBrokenxxAngelxx

Intus a Vates

Animelover6000

Lulu67

Tetsuya9

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Nadindi

Pitty-Pot

Celdria

Whia

Kraele and Bremon

Hittocere

Leave me a present and review! Trust me, after spending the holidays with my father's family, I'm gonna need it!


	17. Bloody Kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Warnings: language, reference to non-con

* * *

**Chapter 17: Bloody Kiss**

When Seymour was a child, he never had any true friends. There were several reasons for this, but it was mostly due to the fact that he was a mongrel, a half-breed, a mix of both the human and Guado races, making him a taboo existence in many's eyes. For this, most adults attempted to keep their children away from him, and those who weren't scared off by parental figures, were generally put off by his appearance. Because again, he was the first and only of his kind, giving him a unique appearance that no other could match. Human children were frightened away by his unusual hair and deep-set, blue veins. Guado children were perturbed by his especially humanoid face and arms. No matter which group he approached, he was always the outsider, the freak, the weirdo. It was very lonely, even more so after his mother left him. Willingly.

When the disparaged, depressed child was ten, he finally found a creature that would never look down on him because of his heritage, never whisper about him once his back was turned, never taunt him for being different. And he found this in the form of a stray cat that had one day wandered into the temple, looking for all the world as if it belonged there. The child was thrilled.

Several of the Guado around the temple wanted him to get rid of his new friend. They said the cat was mangy, flea-ridden, a creature unworthy of staying in a place of Yevon. Luckily for little Seymour, his father had stepped in on his behalf. He had allowed his son to keep the animal as a pet, warning him that he needed to take care of it lest it leave him or die. As if Seymour would treat the first creature to be kind to him in years anything but the best.

And treat it the best he did. He lavished his new friend with attention and care, fed it well, brushed it daily, played with it constantly, and slept with the furry creature curled at the foot of his bed every night; and the several years the cat lived under the care of the half-Guado child, it was happy and safe. Had the animal been able to talk, it would have had not one complaint in the world; even if it did spend every single one of those years in one and only one room.

Really, it just made sense. This cat was the only friend Seymour had, the only living thing in the world he truly cared for. He couldn't lose it, wouldn't be able to take going back to being alone again; but what if it tried to leave him the way his mother had? So he did the most logical thing his child mind could think up and kept it confined to his spacious bedroom.

Because the half-Guado had finally found someone who cared; and he would never allow them to leave. Not again.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

_Amber liquid swished round in a tall glass as Tidus slipped slowly at the beer in front of him, blue eyes sharp and alert as he watched the crowd on the dance floor. He had been coming to Pegasus for the last three months now, meeting Dennick here every Friday and Saturday night, and any weeknight he could afford to not spend practicing blitzball until he collapsed. Over the course of that short time, three major things had happened._

_One, he and Dennick had become very close. Not boyfriends or true lovers, but friends undoubtedly, and with constant benefits at that. Their relationship had grown into something that could never be replaced or overshadowed. _

_Two, Dennick had quickly convinced the little blond to give alcohol another try after the boy's first disastrous experience with it over a year ago. Not that Tidus ever _told_ him what had happened during that time (no one would _ever_ know), but just that after a bad incident he was wary of drinking once more. It was only through Dennick's promises and gentle encouragements that he was able to get truly smashed for the first time in his life, and despite the debilitating hangover he suffered the next morning, the blond quickly found that alcohol really was an amazing invention so long as you didn't allow yourself to become too careless. _

_Third, Tidus had become very popular amongst the familiar club dwellers. He was upbeat and friendly, always had a smile for everyone, even when he was having a bad day himself, always did his best to cheer you up when you were down. He was also especially popular among the 'top' male population of Pegasus for a somewhat more physical reason; he had earned himself the reputation of being very, very easy. _

_He didn't really know how it had happened. He was used to being flirted with constantly by the girls at school everyday, so it wasn't as if he had never been the center of so much attention, but when those older guys all started hitting on him... It wasn't that he let it get to his head, that really wouldn't be accurate to say. But he _had_ accepted their advances very well... All of their advances. He was rarely known to say no to anyone who wanted to fool around._

_His behavior upset Dennick, he knew, simply because the older boy was worried for him. He thought maybe the little blond was becoming addicted to sex. The thought was, to Tidus, laughable. In order to become addicted to something, you had to enjoy it, right? And unless it was Dennick himself that he was sleeping with, the high schooler rarely enjoyed any of it. Sure he orgasmed (sometimes), but he always left the encounter feeling wholly unfulfilled. Maybe, as girly as it sounded, it was the lack of emotions causing the dissatisfaction? He really didn't know._

_That, of course, then left the question of why he had sex so often when he didn't even really enjoy it. A question he found even he couldn't answer. He supposed, considering the worse his day the more he wanted to be fucked, that maybe he enjoyed the physical release of the whole process. Though that explanation didn't completely mesh, his fifteen year old brain really couldn't think of a better reason. All he knew was that he wanted to have his ass pounded, frequently, though he didn't consider it a pleasant experience the majority of the time. Since he was content, why bother to question it? _

_All that being said, he came quickly to realize that sex no longer held any special meaning for him. It was just something to do to pass the time, so to speak, and all the magic of the act was already gone for the maturing boy. Seeing as how he had never been much of a romantic, this didn't bother him. What _did _bother him was the way it affected sex when it was supposed to mean something, at least a little bit. Like when he was with Dennick. _

_His time with Dennick was meant to be something special, but now it was starting to feel as if anything truly intimate was gone. Not because the relationship between the boys had changed, but simply because sex was becoming so mundane for the little blond, a daily routine you just went through the motions to complete, like brushing your teeth. And even though when he was with Dennick he attempted to leave that mindset, he found it completely impossible._

_The answer to that, he assumed, was to do something special with Dennick in order to separate his times with the soft-spoken brunette from his times with everyone else. The first idea on that line of thinking was to possibly spice things up a little, get a little... kinky, for lack of a better word. Tidus wasn't going to pretend to be an expert on the subject, he was only fifteen and up until a few months ago hadn't really wanted to admit his homosexuality, but he had heard of things like BDSM. Mind you, neither he nor Dennick was particularly masochistic in the bedroom (at least not if he really wanted to enjoy it), so playing around with pain was out, but the blond started thinking that maybe a little bondage couldn't hurt. Maybe Dennick could tie him up, blindfold him, something like that? _

_A despairing sigh whistled through pouting lips as the boy realized this would never happen. Dennick just wasn't the type to tie anyone up, rather, _he_ was the one who would be tied up if anything. And Tidus couldn't even picture handcuffing the older brunette to the headboard and riding him until he came. It just... didn't fit. _

_He growled a bit and drained the rest of his beer in one long draft. So much for that idea. Looks like he'd be doomed to never having good sex again, no matter who his partner._

_Blearily watching the dancers gyrating beneath flashing lights, the bass pumping through his mind, seeming, in his semi-drunken state, to meld with his heartbeat, thrumming in his ears, Tidus found his view abruptly blocked by what could only be described as a giant. A very good-looking giant with sharp, handsome features and incredibly intense dark eyes. Tidus blinked. "Hello." _

_He was quite sure the man hadn't heard him over the volume of the music, but his lips were likely easy enough to read for that simple, familiar greeting. The man flashed a roguish smile his way, leaning down quite far so his lips were next to the blond's ear. "Hey there, little one. You up for some fun?" _

_Tidus couldn't help but release a slightly bitter chuckle and wan smile in response. At least this guy cut straight to the chase, rather than play around first like a lot of the other men, asking him if he wanted a drink or to dance, like they needed to win him over when they _knew_ by now what his answer would be. "Sure." _

_They ended up not in one of the back rooms, which were all occupied, but the empty alleyway behind the club. Tidus had been there before for such activities and was nonplussed by the situation, despite how nervous Dennick and some of his other friends always became. From what he had gathered, they were worried someone would kidnap the teenager and sell him to a brothel or chain him up in their basement for personal use; but Tidus wasn't afraid. Maybe that was simply because he knew no matter what, Auron would always come rescue him. _

_And no one could take on his guardian. _

_Getting his first truly decent look at the giant in the surprisingly well-lit alley, the boy was startled to see just how old he was. The man had to be nearing thirty, lines starting to creep in underneath his eyes, hair actually beginning to dust with premature specks of gray. Did a guy like this really want him? _

_Almost as if the man could read his mind, he rumbled softly, "Normally you're not my type, little one. I don't go for scrawny kids; but I kept hearing such good things about you." _

_Well, fair enough. Besides, even if he was a little older, he was the same as any other partner the boy had had. So, deciding to take the initiative so he could get the whole thing over and done with, Tidus leaned up on his tiptoes, planning on starting things off with a little making out, just like always, to make sure the other man was in the mood. What he met instead was a big, warm hand catching him by the forehead, pushing him gently back down to stand flat._

"_Sorry, little one, I don't play that way." _

_Immediately blond eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as a tongue tentatively wet dry lips. Had he done something wrong?_

_The hand patted his head in a somewhat patronizing manner as a deep chuckle bounced off the brick walls. "No kissing," the giant clarified. "I save that for my girl waiting at home." His eyes and voice became distant then, making Tidus wonder if maybe he was speaking to himself and maybe he was even more drunk than the blond was. "She's my everything, but I just can't help getting these cravings sometimes. For another man... It's bad enough I'm here. I would never make it personal like that." _

_It took a moment before the words and their meaning managed to penetrate the haze of alcohol flooding the teen's mind; but once they did, Tidus felt like heaven had heard his prayers and deemed them worthy of response. It made perfect sense. _

_No kissing. _

_And when he went back into the club, mouth untainted by the random encounter with an insecure, closet bisexual, and crawled into a surprised Dennick's lap, kissing the older boy senseless, it was clear he had found the answer to his problem._

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Auron was a hardened warrior. He had seen a lot of things in his thirty-five years of existence (existence, because life really wasn't the appropriate term), but nothing really compared to what he'd just witnessed. What had just happened... there was just something _wrong_ there.

When he had realized what Seymour was going to do, he had felt physically ill. His mind had run through all the possible ways he could try and stop it from happening, but he knew it was beyond his control. He was just as powerless as Tidus was.

He watched the exchange between the two, his suspicions that _something_ had happened between them confirmed. But now wasn't the time to worry or wonder about that. There were more important things happening at the moment. Like Seymour's hand on Tidus' ass.

Even though they weren't far, the wind around the cage was strong, limiting Auron's hearing, so their conversation went unheard. But when Tidus resisted, Seymour said something that visibly upset the boy. And after that, there was no more resistance. When Seymour pushed the blond down, Auron turned his head away. He wouldn't watch; both for the sake of Tidus' privacy and the fact that it would make him sick, possibly literally. His only hope was that Tidus'... lifestyle would help him cope with this once it was all over. He didn't expect the boy to be unaffected, that wouldn't be possible, but at least he wasn't a virgin. That was the only thing that could have made this situation worse.

Auron clenched his fists, set his jaw, and stared hard down at his boots, hating himself for being unable to do a thing. It wasn't until he heard the gut-wrenching screams that his head shot up, amber eye fixing on the scene in front of him, picture burning itself into his retinas to haunt him forever.

Steel met his enclosed fists as he rammed against the side of the cage, determined to rip it apart with his bare hands if necessary, anything to reach the brat. He was yelling something, he didn't know what, but it really didn't matter. Tidus needed help. Tidus needed him. He needed his protection. Why wasn't he there giving it?

Their positions were abruptly flipped, and Auron was graced with a horrifyingly clear view of an ashen, pain-wracked face. Swallowing back bile, he watched as Seymour thrust up from the bottom, clearly taunting the boy, too horrified by now to tear his eyes away. And that's when it happened.

He saw the very moment the change stole over Tidus' face, the snarl that curled the blond's lips, the flash of absolute fury that took his blue eyes. And then Tidus had started... Auron didn't really know how else to put it, the brat had started violently fucking himself on Seymour's member, apparently uncaring of the extra bleeding this incited, of the pain he _had_ to be in.

Then there was yelling, loud enough for him to catch most of it. "You think you can hurt me? You think this fucking hurts? You... hurt me! This won't... me! You're too late! This won't... anymore!"

Realization tore through Auron like a blade, and he really thought for a moment he might be sick through the bars.

It was over quickly after that. Seymour flipped them once more and emptied himself, forcing a kiss-- _"You call that a kiss? More like him smashing his lips onto hers."_ Auron swallowed-- forcing a kiss on the struggling blond. And then that was it. Tidus lay there, eyes dead, looking thoroughly beaten. Defeated. Auron couldn't understand the sudden, instant change.

Seymour used his own robes to clean the brat up, the gesture done in a _loving_ manner that pissed Auron off all over again. What the hell was wrong with that sick freak? Did he even realize what he'd just done? The damage he had just caused?

The guards were summoned once more, and the now limp and compliant blond was dragged bodily back to the cage in a manner similar to how he'd been dragged from it, making no effort to stand and walk on his own, just letting whoever do whatever they pleased. Auron's eye twitched behind dark glass, switching gazes rapidly between the weapon pointed in his direction and the listless boy being unbound. Part of him wanted to wait for the slightest opening, charge and disarm the guard, take care of the other one before he knew what was happening, and then finally go after the maester bastard. He could practically feel his fingers wrapping around the half-Guado's throat...

One look into Tidus' lifeless blue eyes dissuaded the older man from that path, at least for the time being. Right then, making sure the brat was all right was the most important thing, and starting a fight that would quickly escalate into mass violence was not the best idea. Killing Seymour would have to wait.

The blue-haired monster in question gazed tenderly at Tidus' defeated form for a moment longer before smirking in Auron's direction, giving him a look that could be nothing other than... challenging. Just what the hell was that supposed to mean? What did the sick fuck think he was challenging Auron to? The warrior dismissed it as the ravings of a crazed lunatic as said man turned on his heel and left, guards dutifully flanking his sides. There was the sound of a heavy door shutting in the distance... and then nothing. Silence.

Auron swallowed hard once, twice, multiple times, trying to think of something to say in this situation, trying to carefully determine his next move, trying to just make himself look at the damn brat. How was he supposed to fix this? Auron could count on one hand the number of times in life he had felt this powerless. This weak.

When a voice suddenly did break the crushing silence in the cage, it wasn't Auron's own deep timbre, but rather the higher tenor of his cellmate that was the cause. "Really wish we had some water in here... My throat's killin' me."

A bit thrown by the carefree tone and playful tint to the comment, Auron finally turned his gaze to the boy, surprised to see him sitting up against the side of the cage, looking, despite his unnaturally pallid coloring, as lighthearted and cheerful as ever. Like he hadn't just been brutally violated. "Tidus..."

"Hey, is that flask empty?" Blue eyes fixed intently on the ever present item hanging from the man's waist. "I know you don't carry water in there, but anything liquid is fine."

It felt rather like someone had reached their fist into Auron's chest, found his heart, and started to squeeze painfully.

"What is it you normally have anyway? Sake? Not my favorite, but it'll do."

The phantom grip tightened. "Tidus, stop it."

The blond looked startled by the request. "Stop what? C'mon, Auron, don't be so stingy. I'm really thirsty here."

The bigger man was finding it difficult to breathe. Why was the brat doing this? Was he trying to cope? It wasn't healthy, not even close. "Stop acting like nothing happened."

The smile slowly faltered, then fell away at the words. One tanned, trembling hand rose to touch red, swollen lips, blue eyes clouding in sadness. Not pain or fear or disgust... just a weary sorrow. "I didn't think he would ever do that," the boy whispered after some time. "Use what I told him against me like that... I didn't think he'd do something so low."

Auron truly didn't understand just what was running through the brat's mind at the moment, but it was pretty clear they weren't on the same page. Being raped (though the warrior immediately decided he hated that word) honestly didn't seem to be bothering the boy, definitely not in the way it should.

Though that in itself was highly disturbing.

A lone amber eye narrowed as slim fingers busied themselves untying the flask from round his waist, unscrewing the top with fumbling eagerness, lifting the retrieved item to parched lips... only to stop short.

Tidus didn't move. Auron scowled.

Lowering the flask once more and looking it over apprehensively with worried blue eyes, Tidus slowly lifted his free hand, cupping the top of the vessel with a fist, effectively making a primitive but functional funnel; thus allowing him to pour the liquid neatly from the flask into his mouth without ever letting the drinking device touch his lips.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Seymour sighed softly as he slumped against the high backed chair of his personal office, both sated and pleased. His Tidus had been just as wonderful as he had dreamed, even if he was a little upset how fast it had ended. No matter, next time he would move slowly, take his time to worship the tanned, lithe body, be more gentle with his little lover. A good, rough fuck was nice now and again, but he was really more of the love-making type, after all.

A small part of him felt a bit bad about rushing his lovely when he suspected the boy still hadn't been quite ready to take their relationship to the next step, but it had been a necessity. When his feisty blond had at first refused him, upset and pouting, that was one thing. Occasional disobedience was adorable, it was part of the fire he loved most about his Tidus, and he'd have him no other way. The problem had come when the dead monk had suddenly become an issue of concern. His lover didn't want the old man to know about the relationship they shared. Not out of coyness or because he saw the unsent man as a parental figure either. No, Seymour had seen the look in his blond's pretty eyes. He had feelings of some sort for that used-up excuse for a warrior. So really, Seymour _had_ to let the older man know just who the boy belonged to. There was really nothing more he could do than thoroughly mark his territory, warn the other to stay away. Tidus had brought it upon himself, had forced Seymour to push ahead earlier when he would have been more than happy patiently waiting for his lovely. And as for the kiss... well, as much as the maester enjoyed his blond's fiery acts of defiance, that didn't mean he could just let them go unpunished. Tidus needed to be taught his place, after all, and that had seemed the best way to do it.

Oh well, he would make it up to him later. Right now he had plans to make. Because as he had already mentioned, he had seen the look in his lover's eyes earlier. It had made things abruptly and unmistakably clear to the half-Guado. The party of summoner Yuna, Tidus' so-called friends, especially the monk, were getting in the way. They were becoming a wedge between the two lovers, a force made only to drive them apart; and Seymour had lost many things in his short, sad life. He would not lose his Tidus. Anything that stood in the way of his love for the blond would be removed. Permanently.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

_Stop it._ White teeth clenched, grinding together harshly as the blond in front of him continued his ministrations. _**Stop** it._

For the past ten minutes, Auron had carefully watched every move Tidus made, trying to figure out what was going on in the teen's mind. A mind that was somewhat warped, depressed, and self-depreciating on even the best of days. It sent a chill through his body to imagine what the boy might be thinking right now.

It was as he observed his cellmate that he noticed the one particular action repeated over and over. The action that made sense and yet had no logical rationality whatsoever at the same time. The action that was the tell-all to what Auron had been trying to find.

Tidus kept repeatedly touching his lips.

Auron was far from stupid, and he had unfortunately seen people who'd been violated before. It was common for them to feel 'dirty', like the skin that had been touched was unclean. It was what gave them such a compulsion to bathe afterwards, why they could often be found scrubbing at their arms or legs as if to wipe away that which was invisible to the naked eye; and that's exactly what Tidus was doing. He would be cheerful as he could whenever actually talking to Auron, but as soon as he stopped chattering he would get a far-off, glazed look in his eyes, mind clearly focusing on things that weren't there. Then slim, tan fingers would hesitantly reach up and gently touch swollen lips, followed by a ripple across the otherwise expressionless face before the back of a hand was scrubbed furiously over those same lips until the whole process repeated. Over and over, to the point where those defenseless lips were now raw and bleeding. Tidus, like any other rape victim, was acting under the compulsion to clean what he felt was dirty.

So why the hell was it his lips the brat was so worried about?

Auron just couldn't wrap his head around the situation. Tidus had been touched in far more intimate places far more violently, but as impossible as it seemed, it appeared the _kiss_ Seymour had forced on the boy at the end, likely the most harmless gesture out of all the things the maester had done, was what got to him the most. Why?

More importantly, how exactly was Auron meant to go about convincing the brat that his lips were not tainted before he managed to scrub them right off his face?

_Damn brat. Can't just have a normal reaction, can you?_

Then again, it was a good thing the boy wasn't behaving the way most people would after such an encounter. Given their current situation, that type of hindrance was just not something they could afford. And it was good he was taking this all fairly well... maybe. Because it disturbed Auron to think about _why_ the brat was taking it so well. Didn't that scream of serious underlying mental problems? When someone who had just been through an ordeal of that sort was surprisingly complacent afterwards?

"Come out. Your sentence has been decided."

Auron nearly growled aloud. Of _course_ Kinoc showed up at the most inopportune moment plausible. It had been a bad habit of his since their youth, but now... now _really_ was not the time. As ridiculous as it sounded even in his own mind, Auron wasn't ready to be released just yet. He wasn't ready to let Tidus leave the cage. The boy, no matter how distressingly well he was taking the whole thing, was still visibly upset, as was shown by the way he swiped at his lips even as he jumped to his feet with a small wince. Auron hadn't yet figured out how he could at least temporarily fix this.

Without showing the barest hint of his true feelings on his face, he glowered at the slighter, bald man over the top of dark glasses. "Sentence? Don't you mean execution?"

"Really, now, what person would execute a dear friend?"

"You would." Next to him Tidus muttered something about, "Lousy ass-kisser," before again wiping his mouth repeatedly, this time coming away with red visibly staining the back of his hand. He needed to _stop_.

As guards came to cuff them and then, to Auron's absolute, incontestable horror, lead them in _separate_ directions, the big man's mind went into a frenzy, panic clawing almost desperately to be released. He couldn't be taken away from Tidus right now. What would the boy do if left to his own devices? How much torment was he really hiding beneath the surface, not wanting anyone to see, that would bubble up and spill over the moment he was alone? And most importantly, was the boy unstable enough to harm himself? As much as he wanted to, he couldn't say definitively that the answer was no.

Auron felt himself begin to sweat beneath his heavy armor. Something... just say _something_. Say something to give the boy a brief reprieve, enough to keep his head above water until they could find one another again. Show him it was all right, that he wasn't sullied, he wasn't dirty. Something to show him that his guardian still cared. Cared so much...

Unsurprisingly, no words came to the dead man that would be of any help. He was a warrior, a man of action, and subsequently showed his thoughts through his actions rather than words. Even with Tidus, since the day he had met the young boy, most conversation was limited to grunts and nods, sentences of no more than three or four syllables. So in a moment of pressure, he did what he did best, and used his actions to show what he thought of the brat's mouth; by straining against the guards at his side, throwing his large body forward, clacking his forehead rather painfully with that of the little blond's... and crushing his chafed, bleeding lips in a searing kiss.

* * *

I would apologize for the ridiculous amount of time this took to be published, but I won't even try and defend myself or make up excuses. There is no excuse for such tardiness, and I do hope that deep down you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. I'll do my best to make the next chapter prompt, but I won't make promises I may not be able to keep. I sincerely appreciate everyone who's still reading after my extended absence.

For the record, Seymour finding a stray cat like Tidus did was not done because I couldn't think of anything better and thus decided to reuse the same idea again. It was done for comparitive purposes to show (somewhat) the similarity and differences in their childhoods. It was also rather convenient to help show Seymour's train of thought in general. Hopefully, you all understood what I was going for.

PhoenixCharmer116, XxXFailureByDesignXxX, Catheli, NeonGreen69, Anbu Aoko, Pederz, Maribel Maki, Fr3ya, Amon2, Shadow D. Wolf, honeyberries, KawaiiNyuu, fuxfell, Shironami, random359, Murder Junkie, JessiKa xoxo, kittylizz, Doreiku, Helbi101, AniseTokunaga, xXToxicXAddictionXx, hanabi857, xxBrokenxxAngelxx, Intus a Vates, Animelover6000, Lulu67, Tetsuya9, DieBratDie, Gasanechi, PurgatoryHeart, Nadindi, Pitty-Pot, Celdria, Whia, Kraele and Bremon, Hittocere, Demoness of the Night, RuneNeko, Woo!, Hugo Wagner, StoryTagger, StellaMaria, Erro3Ban, Riaries, Fan

Thanks for the reviews! If you're not too mad about how long this took, leave me another and let me know how you liked the chapter.


	18. Immaculate

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Warnings: language

* * *

**Chapter 18: Immaculate**

The cold water slapped the dazed blond in the face, making him shiver, but failing rather miserably at its usual job of 'waking him up'. Rather, he still felt as if he was in a dream. He _knew_ he was awake, of course, facing some kind of execution, but it all seemed so surreal... After Auron had... done _that_ (he _had_ really done that, right?), his brain had seemed to just shut itself down, not able to comprehend any longer the illogical, abnormal behavior of people he thought he knew and understood. Now nothing seemed to make sense.

"Get going."

The harsh voice of the guard grounded him for at least a moment, allowing him to ask in a rather apprehensive voice, "Where's everybody else?" What if the others had been hurt? Or worse.

"Floating down there somewhere maybe."

Well, that was helpful. Trying to shove any other thoughts to the back of his mind, Tidus used his powerful swimmer's physique to propel himself easily through the freezing water. Nothing else mattered at the moment besides finding his friends. Focusing on that one task alone allowed him to shove anything and everything else into the back of his trouble-clouded mind.

He didn't even notice that he'd stopped trying to clean his lips.

"Ooh! You made it!"

Wakka's all too familiar voice drew him out of any still-lingering daze as the red-head rapidly approached with a small blond by his side. Giving his friend a customary high five to Rikku's discreetly rolled eyes, he asked, "What's our sentence?" Because figuring out how to escape their current, watery prison really did take precedence over any other personal dilemmas he might currently be having. He had to keep everything else pushed down.

"Think they expect us to give up and die down here."

"Well, that's a lame way to kill someone." It was also rather far-fetched in the younger blitzer's opinion. The party of summoner Yuna had already proven time and again just how resourceful they could be, how prone they were to always landing feet first no matter what situations were thrown their way. So if someone really wanted them dead, wanted to make absolutely sure they ended up six feet under, wouldn't they take the most logical route and set them up in front of a firing squad or something? Kill them in a way that ensured they actually died without a chance of survival? Meaning whoever had ordered them thrown down there for their 'execution'... Tidus had the feeling that person didn't really want them dead after all.

Which meant that Seymour was toying with them... Or at least him.

"Where's Yunie?"

"I don't know." Which meant that the gentle girl hadn't been with him and Auron, nor with Rikku and Wakka. He hoped, of course, that meant she was with Lulu or Kimahri or, preferably, both, but he was also aware of just how much that was to hope for. Yuna was most likely alone somewhere. Which was bad. Very bad.

Not that he didn't have faith in her, because really, he did; but if aeons were infallible, summoners wouldn't need guardians. And as soon as she lost her aeons, Yuna was extremely vulnerable, more so than any of the rest of them would be. The best she could hope to do was whack someone over the head with her staff.

All in all, Yuna being alone at any time would worry him, but right then it was a predestinate for disaster. Seymour was out there, and considering they'd already killed the man once and he'd come back with just as much... vitality as before... Well, Tidus was nearly shaking at the thought of what that bastard could do to his angel.

And he somehow knew it would all be because of him.

"Wonder if we should wait for her..."

Wait for her... Yeah, bad idea. Who the hell knew where in these weird underground cavern things she was, and what guarantee was there that wherever she was would eventually lead her to where they were? Of course, as much as he wanted to, Tidus knew that going to look for the summoner in the maze might very well prove fruitless and in turn actually make it harder to find Yuna in the end. So, "Let's wait at the exit." Because at least that was one place he could only imagine they would all be heading.

"If there is an exit," Rikku said lowly before turning on her back and swimming away.

Tidus couldn't fight his grin. _And on that high note..._ He followed behind the blond Al Bhed, features determined. Time to find their friends.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Seymour sighed as he made his way toward the exit of the Via Purifico. So much to do and so very little time. He was a very busy man, after all, what with having to make plans for the salvation of Spira as well as come up with the best way to deal with his Tidus... Really, why did everything have to fall to him?

Well, no matter. Everything would be taken care of before long. He would go to Lady Yuna now, speak with her about saving the people of Spira together, and once he had ensured her assistance... he would have her send that damnable monk to the Farplane where he belonged. Far away from Seymour's lovely.

He smirked. Soon everything would be as it should.

_He's all right._

"Yunie!" Rikku squealed. "You're all right? We were so worried! It's good to have you back!"

Worried? Worried was a bit of an understatement, and admittedly the majority of Auron's thoughts hadn't been on his summoner. The past few hours of scrabbling through all the twists and turns of the forsaken maze, terrified of what he might find when he met up with the brat again would have been enough to give the man a heart attack had his heart not stopped working long ago, but... _He's really all right_.

Tidus was there, standing next to Wakka soaking wet, carefully looking Yuna over with a critical eye, trying to discern any visible injuries. There were none, save for a few minor scrapes and scratches, but the blond meticulously scanned every inch of the girl anyway, acting the perfect part of the dedicated guardian. Auron, meanwhile, was going through a similar process with him. Except this time he knew there were injuries, visible or not. The boy had to still be in pain.

Quietly retrieving from Lulu the potion he hadn't had on him in the cage earlier, he slipped the small bottle into the younger man's hand, startling the boy a bit with his silent approach. Blue eyes blinked at their new gift in surprise before a slightly wan smile stretched across chapped, bruised lips. "Thanks, old man."

Auron's only answer was a nod, one eye watching like a hawk as the boy drank the healing liquid down, mind racking for something to say. 'Are you all right?' seemed not only generic but grossly inappropriate considering he was well aware the brat _was not_ all right. It would likely be quite some time before the boy was truly all right again, and there was no need to bring that to his attention at the moment. As much as the warrior wished differently, now was not the time to have the in depth conversation Tidus needed; and giving comfort to tide the boy over had never been Auron's area of expertise.

Words failing him once more, the unsent man reached out and put a hesitant hand on Tidus' shoulder, giving it a small, reassuring squeeze. The bright, genuine grin he got in return let him know he'd been understood as usual.

The sound of heavy footsteps drew their attention away from each other, Auron frowning a bit when something seemed off with Kinoc... "Kinoc!"

"Why you!"

Unsurprised by Tidus' outburst simply at the whole malfeasance, Auron felt his own was rather justified. Kinoc had turned into a sniveling, pathetic doormat for the higher-ups of Yevon, a pawn for them to use how they pleased. He was far from the young man Auron had once been friends with... but that didn't change the fact that they had indeed once been friends. And that his old friend was now lying very dead on the ground, killed by those same people he dedicated his life to serving, all he did for them clearly amounting to nothing in their eyes.

This is why the dead monk _hated_ Yevon.

"I have saved him." Seymour's smirk stretched obscenely across thin lips, eyes flashing with clear mania. He honestly believed he had just done the man a great favor by murdering him. "He was a man who craved power. And great power he had, but he feared losing it. Trembling at unseen enemies, he spent his days scheming petty schemes. Chased by his fears, never knowing rest. You see..."

One long-fingered hand reached down and... _pet_ the corpse, the smile on the maester's face turning oddly tender. "Now he has no worries. He has been granted sleep eternal." He sighed lightly as his hand continued, making the watching party increasingly uneasy. "All the pain of life is gently swept away... Ah, yes."

He stood then and spread his arms, appealing to the group in front of him, face and voice calm and convincing but eyes still alight with some inner horror. "So you see... if all life were to end in Spira, all suffering would end. Don't you see? Do you not agree?" He took a step forward, excitement rolling off him in waves. "That, Yuna, is why I need you. Come, Lady Yuna." He held out a hand, obviously expecting her to rush forward and take it. Obviously oblivious to the terrified look on her pale face. "Come with me to Zanarkand, the lost city of the dead. With death on our side, we will save Spira, and for this..."

Yuna took a half-step back in fear of the look he directed her way.

"I will take from you your strength, Yuna, your life, and become the next Sin. I will destroy Spira! I will save it!"

Auron, like all the others, stared for a moment in wordless shock. Not that he likely would have said anything to the deranged man in front of him anyway but...

"You're totally nuts!" Tidus cried, breaking the pregnant silence that had overtaken them; and it was then that everything clicked into place for the blond. Seymour was... insane. Literally. And everything now made such perfect sense. The way the man had gone from being a kind, loving person to a psychopath who murdered his own father without blinking. He was actually clinically insane, if he had gone to a doctor back in Zanarkand they would have stuffed him full of pills and told him he had a mental disorder of some sort, quite possibly locked him up seeing as how he was a bit of a danger to others, what with wanting to destroy the world and all.

Taking a slow, deep breath, Tidus felt his taut muscles relax, a weight he hadn't even known was there lifting off his chest. His Seymour, the sweet, attentive man from that night _was_ real, did care about him, had never tried to trick him or play with his feelings... except that man was only part of the personality that made up Seymour Guado. And the other part... He swallowed thickly. The other part was a monster.

It was obvious he wasn't the only one who thought so either. Kimahri chose then to rush forward and jam his spear straight into the half-Guado's chest, the sickening sound of flesh being split and bone being broken following. Seymour didn't even bat an eyelash in response, silently staring the Ronso down until finally releasing a deep sigh.

"Unpleasant... Very well." The spear was removed with another array of stomach-turning sound and tossed lightly back in Kimahri's direction. "I will give you your death. You seem to want it so."

Tidus watched in apprehension as Seymour's handsome body slowly transformed into a... _thing_ of some sort, wondering idly if now would be a good time to wake up from this nightmare. By this point everything seemed so unreal he thought he might indeed be dreaming. Why not?

"Run! Protect Yuna!"

It was Kimahri's rarely heard, gruff voice that pulled him out of his reverie and had him taking a step forward, knowing he needed to fight; until a well-muscled arm caught him about the chest, pushing him effortlessly back. "Go!"

Blue eyes flashing in defiance, Tidus glared at his long-time guardian, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. Go? As in run away? He glanced up at the inhuman (and inGuado as well) thing his almost boyfriend had become and shook his head resolutely. He wasn't sure how or why exactly, but this was at least partly his responsibility. His mess to clean up. And while he would never pretend to be a particularly brave individual, at that point in time he wasn't afraid. He needed to finish this. "No way! I'm fighting!"

His newfound sense of bravado was met with a very large, very deadly sword less than an inch away from his nose. "I said go!"

Angry and annoyed, the blond opened his mouth to retort when he caught a glimpse of Auron's lone amber eye peering at him over the top of his glasses, forcing his voice to catch in his throat. That look... He was eight years old the last time he'd seen that particular look. And he never wanted to see it again.

Sharing a glance and a nod with Yuna, the two of them took off down the passage, the others following swiftly behind. They put a decent amount of distance between themselves and the Seymour-thing before Yuna abruptly stopped, eyes squeezing shut as she shook her head. "I won't leave Kimahri behind!"

Tidus felt his stomach jolt at the words, tendrils of guilt creeping up to wrap around him. Of course they couldn't leave Kimahri behind. What the hell was he doing?

Auron was nonplussed as usual. "He is a guardian. Protecting you is everything."

"Auron!"

The most important thing to any guardian was protecting their chosen summoner... Tidus scrunched his face, thinking hard, a look Auron knew only too well. He narrowed his eye warningly and growled out a soft, "Tid_us_," but it was far too late.

If it was a guardian's duty to protect their summoner no matter what... "That's right! We're all guardians!" He nodded once, as if reaffirming this fact in his own mind. "Yeah, and you know what that means? Yuna..." he looked at her very seriously, "anywhere you go, I'll follow!"

"Anywhere I go?"

"Yeah, anywhere!"

The girl's smile was bright enough to light up an entire room. "Well, then!"

"Let's go!"

Auron really didn't know whether to be livid or amused when the two teens turned and ran back _towards_ imminent danger rather then away from it.

"Hey, Kimahri! Leave some for us!"

Though really... he was finding it more and more difficult to get angry with him. No matter what crazy stunts he pulled. Just so long as he kept giving that stupid smile. "Brat."

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Firewood. He needed to gather firewood. Really really did. Because without firewood, well, there would be no fire. And they needed fire. Without fire they couldn't cook, couldn't keep warm... Why on earth couldn't he remember how to properly gather firewood?

Giving up on his search (or rather his aimless wandering), the blond sat down heavily on the ground, not caring that the damp earth soaked through the seat of his shorts. Hugging his knees to his chest and burying his face in them as far as it would go, he tried, quite desperately, to stop thinking. Or... was thinking the right word? His brain was racing at about a thousand miles an hour, but there was nothing even mildly intelligent about it all. Did thoughts actually need to have some semblance of sense to be considered real thinking?

A snap of twigs, louder and more purposeful than the general sounds of the forest, caught his attention, forcing him to look up. Oh, wonderful. Auron was there, coming towards him; and he'd want to talk. About everything...

"Firewood!" Leaping to his feet and grabbing several stray branches off the ground, not caring in the least whether they would make decent fodder for the fire or not, he began to speedwalk past his old guardian, carefully avoiding the gaze of that one eye. "Hey, old man, just headin' back."

"Tidus-"

"Don't know about you, but I'm starving! Can't wait for some of Lulu's delicious cooking!" His voice most definitely _did not_ sound both oddly high-pitched and frantic. "Well, let's go!"

"Tidus, wait-"

He didn't. He didn't even consider waiting, regardless of what Auron wanted. The older man made a move, as if to grab him and stop him, before apparently changing his mind and dropping his arm back by his side. Tidus recognized the gesture well enough. Auron didn't want to touch him.

Well no, of course he didn't. Quite frankly, Tidus didn't even want to touch himself; though that was really nothing new.

Approaching the clearing the others sat in, he dropped his pile of wood by the fire they'd apparently managed to make while he was out walking around in circles and took a seat, slowly, next to the other blond of the group. And if he just happened to be sitting near enough that their knees touched, well it wasn't at all because he was grasping at straws on how to deter Auron from speaking with him and was therefore using his friend as a buffer. No, not at all.

As the man himself approached, Wakka looked up from where he'd been idly stroking Lulu's hand, eyebrows raised in question. "Well?"

"We're all clear. We will have to avoid Bevelle in the future." He scanned the people in front of him, familiar scowl in place. "Yuna?"

"She said she wanted to be alone."

"Of course."

Tidus listened to this and slowly blinked, not sure whether he'd heard that right. Alone? They had left Yuna alone, with her thoughts, after everything that had happened? After the last time they'd left her alone to deal with things on her own she had attempted to take on Seymour all by herself? Had they lost their minds?

Not bothering to argue (because really, what good would it do?) Tidus climbed to his feet and went to go find her. He had no illusions of making her discuss anything she didn't want to, but the very least he could do is reassure her with his presence. He certainly wasn't stupid enough to leave her alone. Yuna was not like most people, she wasn't the type of person who needed space after something bad happened; why didn't the others know that by now?

As it turned out, Yuna made no protest to having his company. She gave him a pallid little smile and, without any prompting whatsoever, started talking. Mostly about being a summoner and what she'd thought it was meant to be like. Then about how they should run away to Zanarkand together, ignoring the pilgrimage and Spira; and for a minute there, she looked really, truly happy.

Yet somehow it ended up with her in his arms, crying.

"Yuna..." Dammit, he sucked at this. He knew how to cheer people up when they were feeling down in the dumps, sure, but once they'd reached this stage of depression, once they'd actually started with the tears... "Don't- don't cry, all right. We'll make it all right somehow. I swear we will."

The girl laughed weakly through her tears. "You're so optimistic, Tidus. Unlike anyone I've ever met."

The boy attempted a grin, but it probably came out looking more like a grimace instead. Optimistic? On the outside, maybe, and when it came to other people, probably; but on the inside... "Well, I try."

Not sure what else to say and far from willing to talk about himself, the blond pulled them both into the shallow water of the lake, up to their waists, and just sort of... stood there. Water, being in water, near it, surrounded by it, had always calmed the boy, ever since he was little. And now... now it was clean, it was pure, it could wash away everything he didn't want, didn't like- at least in his mind. He absently pulled them a bit deeper, to chest height. Yuna cough/choked again. "It's cold."

Tidus blinked in surprise. Was it? His own body had been so numb ever since... well, he hadn't even felt the temperature of the lake. "Sorry. We could go back if-"

"No. No, it's all right." She nestled further into his arms, face pushed into the fabric on his shoulder, as though trying to bury herself in it. "We can stay here awhile longer."

For somewhere between five and ten minutes that's exactly what they did. Just stood there, together, in the (apparently) cold water of Lake Macala-whatsits, both contemplating in silence about their own lives, feeling safer, more secure, in the company of another.

Finally, glancing up at the boy who was just a head taller than her, Yuna said softly, worriedly, "Your lips... what happened? They look swollen and like they were bleeding."

Tidus quickly averted his eyes and tried to laugh, but he couldn't even fake it, just ended up wheezing soundlessly, like an old man with emphysema. "Oh, that? That's nothing really... Don't!"

The second he saw her pale, slender hand reaching up to touch his mouth, Tidus absolutely shoved the girl away from him, eyes wide. She stumbled back in the fairly deep water a few steps, trying to find her footing on the slippery bottom. Once she had it, she stared at him in shock, confusion and hurt on her face. "Tidus?"

"Sorry. I'm really sorry." The blond made a move, as though to reach out to her, before bringing his arm back in to hug around his chest. "Sorry. Just- you can't touch me, Yuna. Not there."

"What? Why?"

The distraught note in her voice made the boy wince. He was upsetting her all over again, right after she'd managed to calm down. He was such a horrible friend, worrying her like this. "You can't- look, I'm dirty, all right? And you..." He made an odd noise in his throat, almost like a sob, and he wondered for a brief moment if he might start crying. "You're not dirty. I'll make you dirty."

Yuna flinched back as though she'd just been slapped, face draining of what little color it had. "Tidus, don't be ridiculous. You're not dirty."

He shook his head weakly, unwilling to look up at her. She didn't know, didn't understand.

"Tidus son of Jecht!"

Cringing back at her tone as well as the way his name had been used, Tidus was surprised to hear such a sharp voice from the usually quiet, gentle girl. She was angry?

Willing himself to lift his gaze, he saw she was indeed. In fact, angry could be called an understatement, at least as far as Yuna was concerned. A sharp crease had formed between her narrowed, bi-colored eyes, her lips were pressed into a thin line, her face was still exceptionally pale but the tips of her ears poking out through her hair had gone red. Tidus was pretty sure if he'd been able to see her hands, currently ensconced beneath the water, they'd be clenched into little fists, hard enough to make the knuckles go white. "... Yuna?"

"I know what I said!"

Tidus stared. Yuna took a slow, deep calming breath, as though trying to get her temper back under control. While it was a perfectly normal action, one the blond had occasionally done himself, seeing Yuna do it... well, Yuna wasn't the type of person who was meant to _lose_ their temper in the first place. He really hadn't meant to get her worked up like this.

"Tidus, I know what I said before," she went on, much more softly. Though her voice was still taut, as though it took a lot of effort to keep it that way. "I know I called you dirty; but I _did not_ mean it."

Tidus continued to stare in surprise. Well yeah, he had kind of figured that out when the very next day she had rushed up and hugged him on sight with a litany of apologies in tow; but that really didn't have any bearing on... oh. "Yuna, what you said-"

"No, Tidus! It isn't true!"

"It is!" He hadn't meant to shout, but it just felt like if he didn't raise his voice he'd never be heard above the roaring that had started in his ears. For some reason, it felt like the world was just closing in around him and there wasn't enough room to breathe. Completely irrational anger, anger he _knew_ wasn't aimed at Yuna was bubbling up in his chest, trying to suffocate him with its presence, and if he didn't start yelling he felt he might drown in it. "It _is_ true, and you were completely right, and you don't even know it!"

The girl, her face more pained than angry now, opened her mouth as if to speak before shutting it firmly again. Tilting her head to the side, as though in question, she just waited for the blond to continue, knowing there was more. Knowing this was something Tidus needed to say.

"I've done so many filthy things, I've- I've had sex with so many people, I don't even know how many, and I _am_ dirty, I'm disgusting! You were right for the wrong reasons; but you were still right. I- He knew, I know he knew and-" The boy shut his eyes, chest constricting further by the second, making it harder and harder draw air. What the hell was he rambling about?

"Tidus?" Yuna's small hand fell on his shoulder, squeezing gently, letting him know she was there. "Tidus, what's really wrong? What's truly bothering you?"

Blue eyes snapped open, swimming with unshed tears. "I don't _know_!" And he really didn't. His head was so full of mixed up thoughts, mind swimming with painful memories, brain feeling like it would literally explode with the jumbled mess tearing it apart. He couldn't calm down and think properly, couldn't sort his own thoughts out, he just knew something was wrong. Something was bothering him, eating him alive, and he didn't even know what it was. He just hurt.

When Yuna wrapped her arms around him, he didn't cry. He did, however, lean into her, resting his head on her shoulder, taking whatever strength she could give him. He knew she didn't understand (how could she when _he_ didn't even understand himself?), but she was still there, she still wanted to help in any way she could. That alone was more than enough. "Thank you."

The girl tightened her grip, as if she wanted to crush their bodies into one. "It doesn't matter if you're 'dirty', Tidus. Not at all."

"But-"

"It doesn't matter what you've done." She pet his blond locks soothingly. "Things like that... it's your own business. It doesn't determine what kind of person you are." She gently pushed his head up so she could look straight into his eyes. "I _like_ the person you are, Tidus; and if you weren't 'dirty' then you wouldn't be you. I like you."

Tidus had to swallow convulsively to keep back sobs. "Yeah?"

"Of course." She brought her hand up to cup his weary face. "I guess you never realized..." She looked away shyly, face blossoming crimson across her cheeks. "That's the real reason I was so upset when I found out you were homosexual. Because if you were only attracted to your own gender..."

The proverbial lightbulb above Tidus' head finally flickered to life. "Oh, you... oh." He blushed a bit himself. He hadn't known about the girl's feelings, not at all. He really hoped he'd never done anything to unintentionally lead her on. "Yuna, I'm sorry."

She laughed hollowly and shook her head, bringing her free hand up to wipe at the tears clinging to her eyes. "For what? You have nothing to be sorry for. I was angry and jealous and I acted more selfish and heartless than I ever have in my life; but you never did anything wrong."

The boy gave a small shrug, still feeling awkward and guilty. "I'm sorry anyway." Because he knew how much it hurt to be rejected.

There was some more silence, though it wasn't nearly as heavy as before. Both teenagers felt lighter, not weightless, not as though their problems were gone, but just better about it all now that they'd been able to talk about it, get it off their chests. It made their burdens seem a little bit more bearable.

"Tidus?" Yuna tentatively broke the stillness.

"Yeah?"

The summoner bit her lip and carefully searched his face before hastily looking away, only to repeat the process twice more. "There's a favor- I want to ask you."

The boy cocked his head in curiosity, wondering at her sudden reticence. "Okay."

"You shouldn't feel obligated to say yes," the girl hastened to add. "If you don't want to, just tell me."

Tidus waited.

"I likely don't have much longer left; and there are still a lot of things I'd really like to do before..." She distracted herself by fiddling idly with one of the buckles on the blitzer's shorts. "Like I already said, I like you. A lot, and..." The girl took a deep, steadying breath before looking bravely into the boy's eyes, her own determined and strong. "Tidus, please give me my first kiss."

Tidus blinked in bemusement. "Huh?"

The boy immediately regretted his insensitive response when the summoner seemed to shrink into herself. Fuck, he was so stupid! It had obviously taken a lot of courage for her to ask something like that and he should have acknowledged her more appropriately. Trying a different route, he gently said, "Yuna, you know I'm gay. That means I..." How could he put this delicately?

"I know you could never feel for me how I do for you," the girl quickly assured him, looking him in the eyes once more. "I understand that, really; but it wouldn't... _bother_ you to kiss me, would it?"

Tidus mutely shook his head. Kissing a female didn't upset him in any way; it simply didn't arouse him either.

"Then please do this for me. As a friend." Yuna's face morphed into the perfect picture of pleading. "I just want to be able to- to see what it's like. Just once, with someone I care about." Her eyes misted. "Please."

Tidus clenched his teeth, forehead creased in pain. He wanted to help. It wasn't really all that much she was asking, and he could understand easily why she would ask it. Only, "I'm dirty, though."

"You're _not_-"

"My lips are." His wrinkled fingers emerged from the water to rest on the chapped and swollen skin. "Seymour made them dirty."

Yuna's eyebrows drew low over bi-colored fire. "Seymour?"

"Yeah, he-" Tidus stopped, not wanting to talk about what had happened, not any part of it, and definitely not with sweet, innocent Yuna. "He just did."

Yuna may be sweet and innocent, but she wasn't stupid. Her mind could never conjure the horror from Bevelle on its own, but she was able to guess that Seymour had forced some sort of unwanted advances on the blond. She was internally startled by how much hateful anger bubbled up in her gut towards the half-Guado. She'd never felt quite like that before.

Forcing an expression of careful neutrality onto her face, she shrugged as if the boy's words meant nothing of importance. "So what? They don't look dirty to me."

"But they are-"

"Then I'll clean them for you."

Yuna's words and tone were so forceful and filled with such an air of finality that it made Tidus pause. Clean them? "You mean-"

"If Seymour did something to make them dirty, then I'll do something to make them clean again."

Only after the girl had said that did Auron's actions back at the temple finally make sense to the often daft boy. Warmth flared up in his chest, spilling over to heat his numb body, bringing a prick of tears to his eyes. Auron had... "I guess I'm already clean."

Before Yuna had a chance to ponder that, let alone answer, he had moved forward, drawing her gently into the his chest, and lowered his mouth over hers. He didn't know how much of a kiss she wanted, whether she'd expected a bare press of lips or the whole shebang with tongue and teeth, but he gave her something in the middle, the kiss deep and searing and very real; and while he obviously felt nothing sexual from the act, it wouldn't be accurate to say the kiss meant nothing at all. Because he loved Yuna deeply. Just not in the conventional way a man would love a woman.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Tidus waited that night until everyone else was fast asleep, fighting his own exhaustion by idly throwing sticks and leaves into the popping fire, well aware of one amber eye watching his every move closely. Once absolutely sure they wouldn't be disturbed, the boy harshly cleared his throat, steeling his nerves and repeating over and over to himself that he most definitely was not afraid. "Auron?"

The man flinched just the slightest bit, as though startled at being spoken to. "Yes, Tidus?"

The boy hastily stood, wiping dirty hands off on his shorts and stepping hesitantly forward. "I— I just— that is—" _Screw it_. Taking three more swift steps, the blond threw himself at the bigger man, wrapping his arms insistently around the muscled chest, burying his face into a red-clad shoulder. For a brief moment he worried he'd be pushed away, remembering the way his guardian had been reluctant to touch him earlier, when solid arms came down and crushed him against the leather armor. He breathed out a soft sigh of relief, closing his eyes and soaking up the other man's heat.

Being hugged by Auron was a rare treat as a child, but every time it had happened it had been the same. The arms were always so big and strong, they had always made him feel so reassured. That hadn't changed. Those same arms still held him tight, secure, in a way that made him know Auron _wanted_ to do this, wasn't just doing it out of obligation, but truly wanted to hold him. So he melted into that hold. He was safe, he was warm; he was clean.

"Thank you."

Auron said nothing in reply, just tightened his arms around the smaller figure protectively.

* * *

Well, that only took almost a year to finally get written. Yeah, I hate myself too. I finally forced myself to finish and post, though I didn't even get around to editing it very thoroughly, so there's probably a ton of mistakes; but I wanted to get it all done today before my break ends and it's back to work. Even if this story isn't my first priority, there's no excuse for it taking that long.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter. I also hope this redeems Yuna for anyone who's still angry with her. And this will be the only hint of Tidus/Yuna het (if you can even really call it that) in the story, just so you know.

PhoenixCharmer116, XxXFailureByDesignXxX, Catheli, NeonGreen69, Anbu Aoko, Pederz, Maribel Maki, Fr3ya, Amon2, Shadow D. Wolf, honeyberries, KawaiiNyuu, fuxfell, Shironami, random359, Murder Junkie, JessiKa xoxo, kittylizz, Doreiku, Helbi101, AniseTokunaga, xXToxicXAddictionXx, hanabi857, xxBrokenxxAngelxx, Intus a Vates, Animelover6000, Lulu67, Tetsuya9, DieBratDie, Gasanechi, PurgatoryHeart, Nadindi, Pitty-Pot, Celdria, Whia, Kraele and Bremon, Hittocere, Demoness of the Night, RuneNeko, Woo!, Hugo Wagner, StoryTagger, StellaMaria, Erro3Ban, Riaries, Fan, Demonic Alice, Celdria, Mougumougu, Klei, Dzem, Venerable Sage of Fortune, Zayroen, Yatsuki, Leirative, Yunagirl22, Pyxiis, kiki2222, skibalovesya, fireworkmage, Shiho, sweetkakes35, Hatemylife68, Ichigo-Lover, Amarissia, knation12, Sakura Camui, MisMic

This story will get finished... eventually. I promise! Thank you so much to everyone who still reads and reviews!


	19. The Road to Hell

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters and I make no money from writing this story. If I did own FFX, Tidus would just admit he's gay and get on with it already.

Warnings: ...wow, I'm not sure if there are any. Possibly language.

* * *

**Chapter 19: The Road to Hell...**

The Calm Lands were, to be frank, quite boring. That is, nothing happened that Auron hadn't thoroughly expected, and after having crossed the bare expanse of plains once before, they had lost all sense of wonder for the unsent man. Not that there had ever been much of anything too exciting about the place to begin with.

Unlike their surroundings, however, Tidus was turning out to be quite the unforeseen enigma. Ever since their brief stay by Lake Macalania, the boy had taken to following Auron around like a big, blond puppy, sometimes chattering inanely in his childish way, sometimes calmly quiet and reflective, but still always very much there. He was also becoming increasingly comfortable with Auron's touch, often doing his best to initiate the physical contact himself; something the brat had never done unless you counted the seven-year-old hugs to his waist long ago. Overall, it was new and strange. Auron wasn't sure what exactly to make of it.

A part of him was worried. Tidus had quite recently been violated, by a male of superior size, in an incredibly violent fashion. Logic dictated that big males should therefore scare the boy, make him apprehensive, anxious. He should be skittish around Auron, and Wakka for that matter, avoid them, spend his time surrounded by the female members of the group; but not only was he perfectly at ease with the red-head blitzer's friendly backslaps and affectionate hair ruffles, he was all but holding Auron's hand at every given opportunity. If the man didn't know any better, he'd honestly think Seymour's attack hadn't bothered the brat. That just wasn't possible.

"Hey, Auron, have you tried these apple things? They're really good! Kinda sour but..."

The warrior blinked as a pinkish, round fruit was shoved in his face, blue eyes shining at him above a peaceful smile. With a grunt, the man took the 'apple thing', absently wiping it on his red cloak and taking a bite. Tidus grinned, pleased, before taking a seat next to his old guardian on the bench. Auron tried to ignore how there was less than an inch of space between them.

The boy worked his way through his own fruit, attention focused on the fields in front of them, though Auron had a feeling his mind was probably miles away. After several minutes had passed, Tidus laced his hands behind his head, nearly whacking Auron in the face with an elbow and sighing softly. "So how much longer are we gonna stay here? Y'know, before we..." He jerked his head off towards the tall peaks of Mt. Gagazet in the distance.

Auron grunted and awkwardly tried to shift his weight without touching the brat. "The density of the clouds above the peak are a good suggestion as to what the weather's like. As it stands now, there are storms. Bad ones. Trying to climb through them would be foolhardy."

Tidus nodded sagely, as though that's what he'd thought all along. "Right. So that means..."

The warrior's lips twitched. "Another day or two most likely."

"Gotcha." The boy leapt to his feet, cheeky smile in place, eyes full of mischief though Auron was quite sure he didn't want to know why. "I'm gonna go find Rikku. See ya later!"

He dashed away about three steps before stopping and turning back. Leaning down a bit, he wrapped his arms around the bigger man's shoulders in a clumsy hug that was somehow innocently platonic and yet at the same time... just not. Then he turned and was gone, leaving a very confused, frustrated dead man in his wake. Just what was going on inside the boy's head?

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Giggling madly like a pair of children half their age, two blond teens fled the inn at full-speed, hoping no one had seen their departure. Once outside, Tidus collapsed in a heap on the ground, grin a mile wide. "You're sure it'll work?"

"Definitely." Rikku tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, taking a seat next to the boy, trying to school her smile away. "It really wasn't all that hard, y'know?"

Tidus didn't know, but he nodded all the same. After seeking out the Al Bhed, the two of them had gone to ask Yuna to come play with them. Unfortunately, Yuna was in one of those quiet, thoughtful moods and really wasn't interested in doing anything other than sitting and staring. After they'd made sure she was all right, the two much more hyper teens went looking for something to do. Which somehow ended up with them in Wakka's room, tampering with his shower.

Apparently, it was a piece of cake for Rikku to adjust the temperature controls, since it was just a primitive piece of machina. Whenever the older man went to use his shower, it would stay nice and warm for approximately two minutes before the water went cold. Really cold, like liquid ice. She furthermore fixed it so it would ignore his commands when he went to shut it off. Now all they had to do was wait for Wakka to return and the show to start.

"So whatcha wanna do now?"

Tidus lifted his eyes at the girl's question before shrugging, unwilling to admit he already wanted to leave her company in search of someone else's. Someone specific. "Dunno. Whatever you want."

Rikku narrowed her eyes shrewdly, carefully examining her friend. He'd been acting a bit strange lately, ever since Bevelle, and a part of her was worried. He _seemed_ okay, like his usual, playful self, but there were just some things... Like the way he would randomly become so quiet, withdraw into himself and think. A lot. He never used to do that before.

Then even more obvious was the way he'd suddenly started hanging onto Auron, sometimes literally. She figured this was a good thing, what with the way Auron felt about him and all, but that didn't change the fact that it was very abrupt and very different from the blond's usual behavior. She couldn't quite figure it out.

Tidus noticed her staring and tried not to be bothered by it. He knew he wasn't quite himself; he just wasn't sure he liked his old self better than this slightly altered new version. Besides, it really was only slightly. "Go ahead, Rikku. Ask whatever is you want to." Because no matter how subtle, Rikku had obviously noticed.

What he got in response to that was a worried gaze full of big green eyes while the girl chewed her bottom lip raw. Finally, "You okay?"

The boy chuckled softly, though there wasn't much real humor in the sound. "Yeah, Rikku, I'm okay."

She tilted her head in inquiry, curious. "Then what's up? You're a little different, y'know? Something happen?"

He smiled bitterly, trying not to think too hard on that subject. "You could say that."

"Something bad?"

Tidus looked away as he literally felt the blood drain from his face. Even his lips must be paper white. "You could say that too."

She nodded, eyes somehow widening further. "But you're okay?"

The blitzer brought his knees up to his chest, resting his cheek on them lightly. Was he okay? After everything since being brought to this crazy world, was he _really_ okay? "Maybe not completely; but I will be." He gave her a sly look. "_Y'know_?"

"Hey, you can't take that! That's _my_ thing!"

Laughing genuinely now, he ducked the playful punch she sent towards his head and reached out, deftly wrapping an arm around her middle to tug her down with him. The two of them rolled around in the grass a bit, the bigger, stronger male purposely letting the little girl get the upper hand before turning the tide and pinning her with ease. After a round of mild hair pulling and vicious tickling, the blonds finally collapsed in a panting heap, Rikku resting comfortably on Tidus' chest, both staring in companionable silence at the wide blue sky and gently rolling clouds above them.

The boy grinned a pointed. "That one looks like a decapitated chocobo."

"Tidus?"

"Hm?"

The girl propped her chin up to look the boy in the face, her expression calm and softly serious, enough so to make the boy alert. "Do you like Auron?"

The blatant, venomous denial was on the tip of his tongue, ready to be spat out as it had been before, the habitual response to that very question. Instead it got stuck somewhere around his teeth, before being swallowed heavily back down the bobbing tan throat while other words crept up to take its place. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Honestly?" She raised her eyebrows, face still deadly sincere and completely open. "As long as it's not something that can get you hurt, y'know?"

He pondered that before nodding understanding and agreement. It made sense. And what's more, he really did believe her, no matter how often she made a habit of chattering away. Just because she talked a lot didn't mean she couldn't keep her mouth shut when she had to. "Then yeah. I've liked Auron for a while now; and I know it's weird and wrong and all that, so..." He shrugged, as though he didn't care while his heart beat a steady tempo against his ribs. Would she turn away in disgust? Would she see how much of a freak he really was, liking someone not only so much older but who had once been his guardian?

Rikku blinked. And blinked some more. And once more. Then, with an absolute scream of frustration, she sat up, bringing a small, clenched fist down straight onto the blond's exposed stomach, turning her back to him as he curled up into a ball, winded and coughing. "Stupid boys! Why do you make it all so _complicated_? If you would just— uh! _Ev oui fuimt zicd dymg fedr aylr udran yht pa ruhacd vun uhla, oui fuimt caa oui pudr vaam dra cysa fyo. Pid huuuu, oui ryja du ku yht pa ymm cdibet yht cdippunh yht cdibet yht_— I hate men!" (If you would just talk with each other and be honest for once, you would see you both feel the same way. But noooo, you have to go and be all stupid and stubborn and stupid and—)

Tidus' eyes were the size of saucers as he attempted to follow along with the tirade of Al Bhed. He definitely caught the word 'you' in there, along with 'and'... and he was pretty sure '_cdibet'_ translated to 'stupid'. Now if only he could figure out what the rest of the words meant...

"Tidus, you and I are a lot alike, yeah?"

The boy blinked at the sudden change in topic. "Uh, yeah, I think so."

"Then please, _please_ explain to me in some way I'll understand why you don't just tell tall, red, and scary that you like him."

Internally, Tidus snorted, very nearly doing it out loud as well. That was a really '_cdibet_' question. There was a whole giant list of reasons he shouldn't tell Auron, not the least of which being that it may very well make the man hate him and push him away for good. Why risk that for nothing?

Sensing she wouldn't get the explanation she so desperately craved, Rikku sighed and hid her face in her hands, part of her wanting to just blurt out to Tidus that Auron liked him too. That would clear up this whole mess nice and quick, right? But something stopped her. Some part of her warned that this was not the best way to go about it, and she knew it. If she told Tidus the truth now, there was a good chance he wouldn't believe her, _and_ if Auron got wind that she had spilled his secret, he would never speak with her again. Too risky. Now, how to go about convincing Tidus to do something that would then force Auron to verbalize his feelings, leaving no question as to how the big man felt, thus forcing the little blond to do the same...

Tidus watched his friend warily, not liking the look she was getting in her eye. It was true they were indeed very much alike, and one of their similarities was their open and honest faces. Very expressive, Auron had said, making it easy to read what their true intentions were; and at the moment, he wasn't entirely sure Rikku had the best of intentions in mind.

Rikku, of course, was thinking almost the same thing. Except she knew her intentions were good, she just didn't really like what she about to do to make those good things happen. It seemed mean, playing on another's weakness, and it was something she'd be loathe to do with anyone, had definitely never thought to do with a friend; but if it was really the only way (and by this point she really thought it just might be)... "Why don't you just, y'know, sleep with him?"

Tidus just about choked on his tongue. "Excuse me?"

"Auron," Rikku clarified, though it was completely unnecessary. "If you like him so much, you must be attracted to him, right? I mean, I can't really blame you for that." She really couldn't. Auron may be quite a bit older than her personal tastes called for, but she could still see why Tidus would want to jump him. "So why not sleep with him? Y'know, for fun. You sleep around, right?"

"I— yeah. You know I do." What the hell was the girl trying to achieve with this? "Auron would never sleep with me." The moment he said the words, he wondered just how true they were. Auron _had_ let him such him off that one night... but the man had been drunk. Surely sober he would never...

"I dunno about that," the Al Bhed said with a shrug, as if this was all just random conversation and she wasn't sweating bullets from nerves. She only had one real shot at this. "I mean, he likes girls, but I know he likes some guys too. Plus, I've seen the way he stares at your ass." And that wasn't a lie either.

Tidus jerked like he'd just been shocked. "Auron stares at my ass?"

"Well yeah, all the time." Now to go for the kill... "If you like him so much, you should... I dunno, seduce him or something. Then at least you'll be able to have sex with him. Better than nothing, y'know?"

The boy let that roll around in his mind, turning it over and examining it carefully from all angles. First of all, Auron apparently stared at his ass. Meaning, if nothing else, Auron was at least physically attracted to him. The man had also, drunk or no, engaged in physical relations with him once before in the past. Lastly, the man knew he was a sex addict, meaning he knew he slept around (Tidus was still hoping he didn't know just how much), meaning he could probably guess at just how good Tidus could be in bed. Auron liked to be dominant, Tidus was naturally very submissive... it was perfect. He could never actually like Tidus back or anything, but he could easily see him as a whore, probably already did; and Rikku was right. Sleeping with him at least once would be better than nothing.

Rikku watched the blitzer apprehensively, knowing her words would bring quite a few self-depreciating thoughts to the forefront of his mind, but it had to be done. If Tidus did indeed try to seduce Auron, Auron would be forced to react. Even more, if Tidus tried to seduce Auron as a quick one-night stand because the blond thought that was all he was good for... she shuddered just thinking about the big man's reaction. Some truths would _have_ to come out.

"I'll think about it," was the boy's final verdict, and Rikku nodded, knowing Tidus would be thinking about little else.

Sudden, high-pitched shrieks broke through the stillness of the peaceful afternoon, making both teens jump like startled cats and scramble to their feet in alarm. It only took a moment for both of them to recognize Lulu's voice, and only then did they realize the horrible mistake in their ultimate, master prank plan. If Wakka and Lulu were sharing a room, they were also sharing a shower; and who was to say Wakka would be the one to use the shower first?

"Oh_ hidc_," Rikku rasped. "We're dead." (nuts)

Tidus actually had little time to ponder Rikku's suggestion that particular evening. He was too busy playing hide-and-seek with a very, _very_ angry mage.

_~Feel no shame for what you love~_

Snow was clearly a force of evil, brought down upon the earth by Sin itself. Oh, it might seem harmless, looking soft and pretty, nearly enticing in its purity, but it was all lies. Every last bit. Really, the stuff was freezing cold, much dirtier than you thought when you look closely, and, worst of all, wet. It soaked into your shoes (even if they were heavy, garishly bright yellow boots), into the rest of your clothes, it felt like it soaked straight into your very skin. So what could possibly be worse than traveling through a mountain trail covered completely in the secret Sin spawn? That's right, doing it in an outfit completely inappropriate for said climate.

Wrapping his arms firmly around his chest in a self-hug and praying his toes weren't falling off, Tidus had to wonder just _why_ no one bothered to inform either Rikku or himself that snow was so damn cold. The whole party knew it was the first time either of them had seen it in real life, let alone touched it, yet no one had said boo when Auron announced it was time to get underway. Yuna had a thick, woolen cloak-thing wrapped around her shoulders, as did Wakka and Lulu, and the blitzer had even traded in his trademark sandals for something with a little more coverage; but had anyone taken half a second to tell the two blonds? Noooo, of course not. Which was why if he and the Al Bhed didn't succumb to hypothermia by nightfall, it'd be a miracle.

"Auron!" the very girl he'd been thinking of whined, plaintively tugging at the big man's sword as she trudged along behind him to stay in the path he cleared.

"What?"

"Auron, it's _cold_!"

"Snow usually is."

Tidus scowled at the back of his guardian's dark head. If his fingers weren't frozen stiff, he'd have lobbed a snowball straight at it. See how 'cold' the man thought it was.

"Stupid Mr. Meanie," but her voice came out weak, like she just didn't have the energy to put any fervor behind the insult. Maybe that was what made Auron grunt and in a single, fluent motion, remove his familiar red coat, handing it silently out to the small girl. Rikku looked ecstatic.

Tidus looked desperate. "Hey! Hey, I'm cold too!"

Auron gave him that look he always had when he thought the boy was whining too much and should just suck it up. "I only have one coat. You should have dressed warmer."

Oh, now that was just not fair. "I would have if I'd known it would be so cold!"

The bigger man just shrugged. "You should have listened to Lulu when she told you."

"When she—" Tidus stopped, trying hard to remember when the woman had told him about the snow. Shooting a glance towards Rikku, the other blond shook her head, just as confused, and when he looked towards the mage herself... oh. Lulu's smirk said it all. Payback's a bitch.

* * *

What's that? Yes, it is quite short and not much actually happens. What else? It took me less than a month? Yes, I noticed that too. Quite shocking, isn't it? I should warn you now, this doesn't mean you'll be getting regular updates or anything because... well, because the chances of that happening are about the same as a snowball's chance in hell; but I'll do my best.

PhoenixCharmer116, XxXFailureByDesignXxX, Catheli, NeonGreen69, Anbu Aoko, Pederz, Maribel Maki, Fr3ya, Amon2, Shadow D. Wolf, honeyberries, KawaiiNyuu, fuxfell, Shironami, random359, Murder Junkie, JessiKa xoxo, kittylizz, Doreiku, Helbi101, AniseTokunaga, xXToxicXAddictionXx, hanabi857, xxBrokenxxAngelxx, Intus a Vates, Animelover6000, Lulu67, Tetsuya9, DieBratDie, Gasanechi, PurgatoryHeart, Nadindi, Pitty-Pot, Celdria, Whia, Kraele and Bremon, Hittocere, Demoness of the Night, RuneNeko, Woo!, Hugo Wagner, StoryTagger, StellaMaria, Erro3Ban, Riaries, Fan, Demonic Alice, Celdria, Mougumougu, Klei, Dzem, Venerable Sage of Fortune, Zayroen, Yatsuki, Leirative, Yunagirl22, Pyxiis, kiki2222, skibalovesya, fireworkmage, Shiho, sweetkakes35, Hatemylife68, Ichigo-Lover, Amarissia, knation12, Sakura Camui, MisMic, Red Carpet Lies, Cuzosu, PandaGaaraInsomniac9, hilariaxd, Marquis Oxblood

Thank you so much for your reviews last chapter despite my tardiness. Again, I know there isn't much going on in this one (it's building up towards it, I swear), but if you could just let me know what you think anyway... pretty please? You're all freaking awesome!


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